A Life to Remember
by LorelaiGilmore82
Summary: A sequel to A Night to Forget
1. 1 A Life to Remember

_AN: This has taken me so much longer than I ever expected and I'm still not totally sure of it, but I figured the longer I wait the more I'm going to question what I'm doing and that will not make this sequel any better. So I will post this now and see where it will lead us. _

_Hopefully it will be a journey you'll enjoy as much as the first one but I've seen my share of sequels so I know it's always hard to put something together just as good as the first time. I will try my best anyway._

_This first chapter is actually the last one of **A Night to Forget** but I thought it was good to post it again as a reminder of where we have left of. _

_I'm afraid updates will be slow. But I'll do my best not to keep you waiting too long. _

_Enough of me talking. Enjoy Bree_

**April 2009**

"Kate please," Castle whined, trailing after his wife as she made her way out of the bathroom to grab her clothes from the bed. He had tried to get her all dirty again - in the fun way - after her shower, but she had dodged all his antics, claimed she had to get ready for work. His current pleas had a different intention though.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm not taking Ellie out of day-care just because you are bored. You know how much she loves to be there."

"I'm not bored," he protested, "I've got writer's block. That's different."

Kate rolled her eyes, "No one asked you to kill off Derrick."

"He got boring," Castle whined again, "there's nothing to him anymore. Nada. Niente. I need something new, exciting, a new inspiration."

"Well, then go out and find one," she told him sternly, "but I'm not taking Ellie away from her friends so she can entertain her whiny dad who suffers from writer's block or the first signs of a midlife-crisis," she added a bit more quietly.

Castle huffed, letting himself drop down on the bed again, "You're mean," he pouted.

"And you're acting like a baby," she retorted, buttoning up her blouse and then adding sarcastically, "not like that is something we haven't seen before."

"But I'm all alone," he tried again, training his puppy eyes on her, "_all_ day, while you are all out having fun."

"You're only alone until the girls get home," Kate replied, seriously getting annoyed by his behavior. He had been like this for weeks and it was starting to piss her off. It's not like she didn't feel any compassion for his struggle, she just thought he enjoyed the whining part of it a bit too much.

"That's such a long time," he groaned, letting himself fall back on the mattress. "They're not back until three."

His wife sighed heavily and sat down next to him, patting his thigh, "Then ask your mother if she has plans. Maybe you can join her at rehearsal?", she suggested trying to reel in her frustration.

"As if," Castle huffed, "it's enough that she invites her theatre group to the loft for rehearsal once a week. I really don't need more images of her contemporary Shakespeare production floating in my head."

"Castle," she scolded him although he sort of had a point about the production, "you know she's a big help with the girls."

He shrugged, "So is your dad but I don't see him inviting his fishing buddies to our apartment."

"Don't take your grumpy mood out on your mother. I'm glad she's here and so are the girls. The two of us definitely have had more time to ourselves since she moved in. I don't hear you complaining about that or our date nights."

"She took your office," he pointed out, exasperated and trying to make her see his point while ignoring hers completely.

"So?", Kate shrugged. "I didn't really need it anyway and admit it, _you_ like having me in your space, curled up on the couch in the office while you write." Not that he had done much writing lately.

He gave her a look, sat up again and then wriggled his eyebrows suggestively at her, "I like you in my space all right," he grinned, causing her to roll her eyes once more.

"Not what I meant," she told him as she got up, but was snagged back by his arm and stumbling into his side.

"She said it would be just for a couple of months, until she's back on her feet. _Kate,_ it's been over a year. What if she never leaves?", he mumbled into her neck, before pressing his lips against her pulse point, causing her to shiver.

"Castle," she hissed, unable to control her reaction to him, even after all those years. "I really need to go."

"Stay," he muttered, his hand sneaking under her blouse seeking out her warm, soft skin, stretching his fingers wide over her taught abs, feeling her skin ripple under his touch.

"I can't," she moaned, all her frustration about her whining man-child of a husband forgotten for the moment.

"You know you want to," he told her as his hand moved higher, palming her breast.

"I …," she stuttered, her arms grabbing his neck without her permission, pulling him closer. "Cas -."

"MOM!"

They froze.

"Mom," Jamie called out again, this time her voice definitely closer than before. "We need to go."

They flew apart, straightening up their appearance before their daughter stepped around the half opened bedroom door, holding her baby sister by the hand.

"What's taking you so long? I'm gonna be late for school," she looked at her parents who looked like they had been caught with the hand in the cookie jar.

"I'll be right there. Can you help Ellie with her coat?", Kate asked and watched her daughter slowly turn around again, her eyes still fixed on her parents.

"No funny business," she told them sternly, waving her index finger between them before she walked back into the living room, leaving her parents with matching shocked expressions on their faces.

"Whoops," Castle grinned stupidly, watching Kate grab her leather jacket and shooting him a bewildered look, before she started for the door.

"What? As if this is all my fault?", he stood, following her, but didn't get an answer and he knew better than to pursue the topic in front of their daughters. So he kept his mouth shut and instead kissed the girls goodbye.

"I'm gonna miss you," he called after them as they left, sounding way too dramatic and very much like his mother, but he couldn't care less.

"It's only a couple of hours dad," Jamie rolled her eyes just like her mother and then ran ahead to get the elevator.

"Easy for you to say," he muttered, but was delighted when at least his youngest waved at him over her mother's shoulder as Kate carried Ellie down the hall.

Castle stared down the empty hallway for a long moment before he finally closed the door and shuffled into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee. His mother probably wouldn't be up for another hour or two and he wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing that she wouldn't be around to distract him. He knew he had been unfair earlier. He actually liked having her here, had offered willingly for her to move in with them when her latest ex-husband had taken all her money and disappeared, never to be seen again. And Kate was right, she was a big help, the girls loved her and he really needed to stop taking his mood out on others, especially his mother.

With a sigh he pushed himself off the kitchen counter and walked back into the bedroom to take a shower and get ready for the day. He picked up his phone on the way, realizing he had five missed calls from Gina who probably had called about the book launch party tonight - Derrick Storm's latest and last instalment - and about the chapters for the new book he owed her. Fortunately Gina had no idea he hadn't written a word in weeks.

He decided to deal with her later though he was not looking forward to it. He knew she would pester him, but if he didn't call her at all she would call Kate and then he would really be in trouble.

Still he wished he could cancel tonight's event. He would be expected to be his charming self, _small-talking_ his way around all those people who thought they were better than the rest of the world and though he knew it was part of his job he didn't really like this part of it too much.

To make things worse Kate wouldn't be there to support or better distract him. She was on call tonight and didn't want to show up on a possible crime scene in a cocktail dress, knowing Ryan and Esposito would never let her hear the end of it. At least Alexis and his mother would accompany him, hopefully keeping him occupied with other things than his own misery, while Jamie and Ellie would go up to the cabin with Grandpa Jim for the weekend.

He smiled. There was something to look forward to after all, a weekend to themselves, providing Kate wouldn't catch a case.

Alexis probably had plans of her own and with the younger children out of the house they would have precious hours to themselves. Maybe he could convince Alexis to stay at Paige's for the weekend and send his mother on a spa-trip, so they could have the loft all to themselves to do delicious things wherever they wanted. He grinned at the thought as he stepped under the shower, letting his mind wander to all the fun he and Kate could have and his mood improved instantly

XOXOX

Kate let herself fall into her chair at the precinct with a groan. On her way in, Castle had called her three times, for no reason at all and he had only managed to stress her out even more.

"Something wrong, Beckett?" Ryan asked from behind his desk, without looking at her so she wouldn't see the grin on his face.

"Castle still got writer's block?", Esposito joined in, leaning against her desk and, unlike Ryan, not even trying to hide his amusement.

"Don't get me started," she growled. "I swear if he doesn't find inspiration soon I'll shoot him."

"You said that five weeks ago," Ryan pointed out, brave enough now to grin around his computer.

"Well," she sighed heavily, the glimpse of a smile on her lips, "the children are awfully attached to him."

Espo smirked, "Yeah sure, just the kids."

Beckett was tempted to poke her tongue at him, but decided it would only spur on her partners' teasing manners, so instead she decided to ignore them for now and grabbed one of the reports she had to review.

XOXOX

Castle had been staring out the window for the better part of the early afternoon, willing his mind to present him with ideas for a new book but so far he had only drawn blanks. Nothing seemed right or thrilling enough and he started to really fear that he had lost his mojo for good.

His mother had left hours ago for rehearsal after he had refused her offer to accompany her, thinking he might just have to kill himself if he did. He had tried to play a video game but that couldn't really entertain him either and so he had gone back to the window-staring habit he had gotten into over the past few weeks.

Fortunately he only had to wait another twenty minutes before he could go and pick Ellie up from the day-care center and then it wouldn't be long until Alexis and Jamie would be home as well and he would finally have someone to distract him. In the end he decided to leave early and walk instead of taking the subway to pick up his youngest, hoping inspiration might strike him somewhere on the way.

XOXOX

"Dad!?" Alexis yelled from upstairs, annoyance evident in her voice since she was calling him for the fourth time.

"Ellie and I are on a mission," he called back, while Ellie rode him piggyback style and guided him through their self-made horse jumping course.

Alexis rolled her eyes and decided to change tactics, "Jamie can you come up and look at the dress?"

Her sister only needed seconds to appear at the end of the stairs, grinning from ear to ear as she told her sister, "On my way."

"Lexi dress?" Ellie asked, poking Castle in the ear.

"You want to see it as well?", he questioned, stopping his attempt to master the next jump.

"Yes," Ellie shrieked, turning his head toward the stairs and demanding him to go faster.

Castle carried his daughter up the stairs and before he even reached Alexis' room, he heard Jamie's shriek.

"Lex, you look awesome," Jamie exclaimed, rounding her sister who stood in the middle of her room to admire the dress from all sides, the light blue bringing out the color of Alexis' eyes and Jamie couldn't stop staring in wonder.

"Wow," Castle gasped and set Ellie down so she could join her sisters, "Alexis you look gorgeous."

"Thank you," she smiled shyly.

He stepped closer, pressing a kiss against her forehead, "You will turn people's heads tonight."

"Dad, I want to come too," Jamie said, dropping down on Alexis' bed and helping Ellie to climb up.

"Jamie, we talked about this," Castle said sternly. He really didn't want to get into another discussion about how unfair it was that Alexis was allowed to join him while Jamie had to stay with her grandpa and her little sister.

"But it's so unfair," she pouted, reminding him of himself and for a second he pondered the possibility that he actually might have overdone it with the whining over the past weeks, but he quickly dismissed the idea. Surely it hadn't been too bad.

"You're too young for this kind of events and you will have plenty of fun with Grandpa and Ellie," he told her and watched her face turn into what he liked to call her _terror face. _His eight year-old daughter was very different from her older sister at the same age. While Alexis had been a shy, often insecure little girl, Jamie was always on top of things. She had her own mind and she loved to share it. Strong-headed like her mother and maybe a bit like himself, she hardly ever accepted anything without an argument. Not going to his book launch party was no exception.

"I wasn't allowed to go at your age either," Alexis came to his rescue and sat down next to her sisters, "it probably will be boring anyway," she added and Castle saw with relief that Jamie seemed to accept her sister's reasoning.

"But you have to tell me all about it, okay?", she finally relented and waited for Alexis to nod before she jumped up and hurried out of the room. "I still need to pack," she called over her shoulder, all worries forgotten and Castle grinned at his oldest.

"Thanks Pumpkin."

"You and Mom just don't know how to handle her," Alexis smirked and then pulled her baby sister close, "thank God you always listen, right Ellie?"

"Yes," the girl who had her mother's eyes affirmed before she reached out her hands for her dad to pick her up. "Horsy," she told him and Castle groaned, knowing he had some more hurdles to jump downstairs.

XOXOX

"Yo, Beckett," Esposito stuck his head into the break room, "we have a fresh one."

With a sigh Kate put her coffee cup back down and followed the boys to the elevator, saying goodbye to her dreams of having the loft to herself for one evening.

"I just want to be on call once without a case. Just once," Ryan muttered as he pushed the button for the ground floor.

"What? Did you have plans?" Espo teased, grinning from ear to ear.

"No," Ryan admitted after a beat, "but I could have."

Beckett bit down on her lip so as not to laugh and patted Ryan on the back, "Maybe next time, Ryan."

He squinted his eyes at her, sensing that his partners were ganging up on him again, but before he could reply the doors opened and Beckett brushed past him.

"Come on boys," she called over her shoulder, as she pushed through the doors and stepped onto the sidewalk, "I don't want to be out all night."

XOXOX

Castle was bored. Gina had paraded him around the guests for over an hour and he was in desperate need of a drink but his publisher had other plans. He shot helpless looks in the direction of his mother and daughter who sat at the bar, but they weren't looking at him, might even ignore him on purpose he suspected and he wished Kate was here. He had been looking forward to at least see her later at home, but she had texted him over an hour ago to tell him they had caught a case and she didn't know when she would be able to make it home tonight.

"Ricky," exclaimed a woman he had never met, before she threw herself at him and smacked her lips against his cheek while pushing her rather impressive cleavage into his chest. He had to fight the impulse to push her away, roughly, and instead tried to step out of her grip carefully, managing to give her a forced smile.

"I'm sorry, have we met?", he asked and shot Gina a dirty look, but to her defence she looked just as perplexed as he, obviously distasting the woman's antics just as much.

"Richard," his publisher said sweetly, pulling at his arm before directing her next word to the overly affectionate woman in front of them, "if you would excuse us, Mr. Castle's wife is on the phone."

Gina didn't wait for the woman's answer, simply pulled Castle with her and out of danger.

"Thank you," he sighed, when they were out of sight, the corners of his mouth tugging up.

"That's the first real smile I have seen on your lips all night," Gina observed, her eyes peering intensely at him.

"Yeah well," he shrugged, not sure what to tell her, since he couldn't tell her the truth. She probably didn't want to hear that he suffered from writer's block nor that he missed his wife.

"Your mother tells me you have writer's block," Gina surprised him and Castle swore silently at his mother's indiscretion.

"My mother and her imagination," he laughed, shaking his head.

"She says you haven't written a word in weeks," Gina prodded, not letting him off the hook.

"Everything is under control," he waved her off, looking everywhere but at her, "and now I need a drink." He slipped past Gina and headed for the bar in search of a scotch and his mother.

XOXOX

"Do you really think this is out of one of his books?" Esposito asked as they left the crime scene, leaving Lanie to take Alison Tisdale's body to the morgue.

Beckett gave him a look. Was he really asking if she recognized a murder plot from one of her husband's novels?

"Okay, okay," he raised his hands in surrender, "and Marvin Fisk as well?"

"Yes," she nodded, stopping in front of her cruiser, "I didn't make the connection at first, but now … ."

"So what's next?", Ryan asked stopping next to her.

"Well there has to be another connection, something that links these two cases together other than how the murders were staged. There's no way that this is a coincidence," she told them.

"You think this has something to do with Castle? Like a deranged fan or something?", Ryan looked thoughtful.

"It's a possibility," Kate nodded.

"So what do you want to do next?" Espo asked, noticing the smirk that formed on his partner's face.

"We bring the author in for questioning," she told them with a grin.

"What?" Ryan gasped, shooting Espo a worried look, "isn't Castle at his book launch party?"

"He is, but I have six missed calls and received a dozen text messages from him in the past two hours, which tells me he is beyond bored and needs to be rescued."

"Are you sure?" Esposito didn't seem to be convinced. "Can you really just pull him out of there because he has a copycat?"

She held up her badge, "I'm pretty sure I can."

The boys shrugged and went to their car, hoping Castle would still let them play with his PS3 after this.

XOXOX

Castle leant against the bar, trying to talk Alexis out of doing homework, "It's a party, go and have some fun," he told her, nipping at his scotch while keeping an eye on the crowd, fearing Gina would haul him back into the masses.

"With whom Dad?" Alexis questioned, "Everyone is old."

He squinted his eyes at her, "Nice."

"I have to say she has a point," Martha chipped in, "though it's perfect for me."

"Mother, please don't embarrass me," Castle groaned, watching his mother's eyes linger on an older gentleman's backside.

"Embarrass you? Whose boring party is this?", she questioned, sauntering off, "I don't see a ring. Don't wait up for me."

On the other side of the room three sets of detective eyes scanned the crowd in search of its host.

"And you really don't think he'll be mad?" Ryan asked, trying to look over the people in front of him.

"Mad?", Beckett shook her head, "Are you kidding me? He's gonna love it. Trust me."

"You're the boss," Ryan shrugged and then pointed ahead, "There, he's at the bar."

Pushing through the crowd, Beckett pulled out her badge, stopping short just behind her husband who was engrossed in a conversation with their oldest daughter.

"Richard Castle?", she started and went on when he turned around to face her. "Detective Beckett NYPD, we need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight."

XOXOX


	2. 2 A Life to Remember

XOXOX

A couple of days later they had finally closed the Tisdale case and Kate was on her way home. Ellie and Jamie undoubtedly eager to tell her all about their weekend with their grandfather at the cabin. They had already returned two days ago, but with the ongoing investigation, plus the added distraction of her husband, who had somehow weaseled his way onto her team, she hadn't had much time to hear all about the apparently amazing trip.

"I'm home," she called upon entering the loft and was met with the whirlwind that was her youngest daughter.

"Momma," Ellie squealed, throwing her arms around Kate's legs.

"Hey there Munchkin," Kate laughed at her daughter's enthusiastic greeting and picked the two-year-old up to place her on her hip, giving her a kiss before making her way over into the kitchen where Castle was busy preparing dinner.

"You're home early," he observed, carefully gauging if she was still angry with him for his earlier stunt - though surely it hadn't been _that_ bad. But even telling her multiple times - if only afterwards - that the safety had been on the whole time, while Tisdale had held the gun to his head, hadn't tempered her sour mood. He just hoped that the hours spent apart had at least softened her anger towards him a little.

"Espo and Ryan took over some of my paperwork," she told him and then turned her attention to Ellie, "they said I should go home to spend some time with you and your sisters."

"Yay," Ellie shrieked happily, snuggling into her mother.

"And what did they say about spending time with me?", Castle quipped, causing Ellie to chuckle at look he directed at them.

"I think that thought grosses them out," Kate replied dryly and joined him at the stove to see what he was cooking.

"We're having chicken," he told her, delighted when she leant into him and he could place a soft kiss against her temple - _yeah definitely improved mood_, "Jamie asked for it."

"Ah," Kate nodded knowingly. Their daughter was strangely obsessed with chicken. "Where is she anyway?", she frowned, realizing it was unusually quiet in the loft.

"Out with the Big One getting dessert at Alfredo's around the corner. They should be back any minute," Rick explained, putting the chicken into the oven to keep it warm.

"Tramsu," Ellie said with such a serious look on her face that Kate had to quickly hide her chuckle by nuzzling her nose into Ellie's soft curls.

"Lexi and Jamie are getting Tiramisu?", she asked, blowing raspberries under the girl's ear who giggled and shrieked in return.

"Stop Mommy," she screeched and tried to wriggle out of Kate's arms, who just held her tighter in return.

"I'll just freshen up and change real quick," Kate informed her husband and finally set Ellie down, who skipped into the living room and crawled onto the couch.

Placing a kiss against Rick's cheek, Kate left him and Ellie alone to head into their bedroom and change out of her work attire and into something more comfortable. She knew her husband thought she had already forgotten about the incident with Tisdale earlier in the day when actually she was still pretty angry with him for getting himself into danger when she had told him - no - ordered him to stay in the car. Yet on the other hand she was immensely relieved that he was alright. She would have a word with him later tonight, after the kids were in bed and then maybe after she had made her point perfectly clear she would have to make very sure he was alright in every possible way.

XOXOX

"Something smells delicious," Martha observed, as she made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen to see what her son had created for dinner.

"Chicken with blanched greens. Are you joining us?", Castle asked while watching the vegetables and glancing over to Ellie in the living room, satisfied to see that the girl was still happily occupied with her toys.

"I'd love to but I already have plans," his mother smiled and headed over to the couch to kiss her granddaughter goodbye. "You'll be a good girl, right?", she smiled at Ellie and watched her nod eagerly.

"Good," Martha replied satisfied and grabbed her coat before she flew out the door, informing her son not to wait up for her.

"Did your mother just leave?", Kate asked, appearing in the doorway to his office.

"Yeah," Castle nodded, joining Kate and Jamie in the living room after placing the vegetables in the oven next to the chicken, "she has a date."

Kate nodded, hiding her smile by pulling Ellie into her lap. She knew how much Castle disliked reminders of his mother's seemingly very active love life. Though they didn't know for sure, since Martha never brought any of the men she met home with her. But Kate knew this was a very delicate topic for Castle ever since she had asked him if he didn't wish they would have such an active love life when they would be Martha's age, with each other of course. He had totally freaked out, even claimed he would never be able to have sex with her again, which Kate had found a tad dramatic. His plan had barely lasted twenty minutes anyway before she had made him thoroughly forget about his mother and her love life, reminding him of their own. He had whispered into her ear later that night that he would never stop making love to her, no matter how old, wrinkled and grey they were.

Rick narrowed his eyes at her, catching the amused twinkle in hers but Kate was saved from any further glaring or worse prodding when the front door opened and the_ Big One_, as Castle called her sometimes and Jamie came crushing through it.

"Dad, we're back," Jamie shouted, rushing into the living room followed by Alexis who carried the Tiramisu.

"So we heard," Castle muttered to Kate, catching Jamie when she flung herself into his arms.

"Alfredo says hi," she grinned and then moved over to fling her arms around her mother on the couch, "Hi Mom."

"Hey Baby Bird," Kate mumbled, placing a kiss against her daughter's head. "How was school?"

"Boring," Jamie yawned for effect and then got up again, unable to sit still for longer than a minute. "Can we eat? I'm starving."

"Of course you are and yes we can," Castle shook his head in amusement and pulled Kate and Ellie up from the couch, everyone making their way over to the kitchen.

"Hey Alexis," Kate greeted her oldest, pulling her in for a hug, while Jamie and Ellie headed for the table, "Did Jamie give you a hard time?"

Alexis grinned but shook her head, "No more than usual. She reminds me so much of Dad sometimes it's scary. Though I guess it shouldn't be, I mean she's half him, but sometimes I wonder if she got like 80 percent of Dad's genes and only 20 of yours."

"You mean the 80 percent that are noisy, infuriating and full of trouble?", Kate raised one eyebrow and the two of them shared a laugh.

"What's so funny?", Castle questioned, shooting them a suspicious glare, already sensing the joke was on him.

"Nothing," Kate and Alexis said in unison, smirking at each other before leaving Castle pouting in the kitchen.

"How about the big heart, the talent to make a whole room laugh and being totally adorable?", Kate asked as they joined Ellie and Jamie at the table.

"Yeah she got those 80 percent too," Alexis smiled at her younger sister who was helping Ellie into her highchair and making the girl giggle when she also placed the bib around her neck.

"Are you talking about me?", Jamie asked, looking from one to the other when she was done.

"Just how awesome you are and how much we love you," Alexis grinned, slinging her arms around Jamie from behind to give her a hug.

"You mean when I'm not like Dad?", Jamie frowned sheepishly, causing everyone at the table to laugh.

"Let's add smart to the list," Alexis laughed, winking at Kate, while Castle gasped in shock in the kitchen.

"You're not fair, always ganging up on me," he whined, placing the chicken and vegetables on the table, while Kate grabbed orange juice for the girls and red wine for herself and Castle.

She passed by him, purring into his ear, "Oh you poor boy. I'll make it up to you later."

"Evil woman," he muttered just loud enough for Kate to hear and only Alexis was giving her parents a slightly disgusted look when they finally sat down, her younger sisters totally oblivious to their parents' banter and flirting.

With two kids and a teenager in the house they were used to being careful, to reel in the passion that threatened to overcome them almost every time they started touching each other. There had been occasions over the years where it had been a close call. Jamie knocking on their door in the early morning while Castle's mouth was thoroughly occupied under the sheets or Alexis hurrying up the stairs without noticing her parents' heavy make-out session on the couch. But thankfully their kids had never realized that they had almost caught their parents in a compromising situation. They hoped to keep it that way.

Sometimes they just got carried away, the desire for each other just as strong as in the beginning of their relationship and thanks to Martha and Jim they usually managed to find some time for themselves once in a while. A get-away weekend here and a couple of days in the Hamptons there, just for the two of them.

XOXOX

"Kate," he mumbled, crouching closer to her to where she was sitting on the bed with her body lotion in hand.

She sighed, "No Castle, it's not going to happen, besides Montgomery would never allow it."

She had already spent the better part of an hour trying to reason with him that it was too dangerous for him to follow her for another couple of cases but apparently he wasn't giving up on trying to convince otherwise her anytime soon.

"Actually he said it's okay as long as we keep it professional on the job," he smirked at her and immediately realized his mistake when Kate narrowed her eyes at him.

"You asked Montgomery?", she glared at him.

"No," he stuttered, back-paddling quickly, "actually he suggested it, sort of …."

"What do you mean sort of?", she questioned and he knew that look on her face meant trouble for him.

"Well I might have mentioned how much fun I had working with you and the guys and how much inspiration it has given me -," he paused.

"And?"

"And that I have an idea for a new book."

"A new book?", she frowned, momentarily distracted from their actual topic.

"About a female detective," he mumbled.

Kate shot up, the lotion clutched in her right hand, glaring down at him, "And who might this detective be based on?"

"You?", he bit his tongue waiting for her reaction.

She stared at him, her mouth opening but no words coming out. _What?_

"I said I need to do more research and Roy thought it would be great publicity for the NYPD if I'd followed you for a couple of cases," he explained carefully.

Montgomery had what? Kate couldn't believe what she heard.

"Kate?"

"You're basing a character in your new book on me?"

"Not _A_ character _THE _character," he clarifies, "The lead character."

"Castle you can't," she shook her head. "You can't do that."

"What? Why not? You are amazing."

"To you, yes," she huffed and he rolled his eyes.

"Kate, not just to me," and he wanted to say more but she cut him off.

"And what were you thinking talking to Montgomery about this, before discussing it with me?"

"Look it just came up," he defended himself, "all I said was that working with you guys gave me new ideas. That's all and he suggested I could tag along for a couple of more cases to help things along. Kate _please_."

She shook her head, pacing in front of their bed, clueless as to what to tell him, how to make him understand that them working together was a bad idea, even with how much fun the past week had been, well at least until he almost gotten himself killed. Because he _did_ help, not that she ever planned on telling him that. But it was just too risky, they had three kids to think about and she knew him, he wouldn't stay behind if she asked him to, especially when he thought she might be in danger.

"Kate," he reached for her hand as he sat down at the end of the bed and pulled her closer until she came to stand between his legs. "Admit it. I was driving you stir crazy over the past few months with my writer's block and I have this idea now and I know you're not thrilled with it, having a character based on you. I know how important your – our - privacy is to you, but please give it a try. Let me tag along and let me write a few chapters and if you really don't like it I'll throw it out, I'll stop. Following you _and_ writing this story. I promise, just please give this a chance. Please. I'll do whatever you want," he pleaded and watched her sigh.

"It's too dangerous Castle, you saw what happened today. We've been over this," she argued. "We have a family to think about."

"I promise I'll stay in the car from now on or go home if it gets too dangerous," he said but Kate only squinted her eyes at him. "I swear. I'll do as you say."

She sighed, a hand running down her face, "Castle, how do you think this is going to work? You're kind of Mr. Mom around here. Who's going to stay with the girls when we're both are at the precinct? You know what kind of hours I have to work sometimes. One of us has to be here."

"Okay," he nodded, "Uhm, I'll admit I haven't really thought that part through." They were both quiet for a moment before he carefully spoke up again, "How about this? As I'm not interested in your every day cases but only in the _Beckett-flavored_."

"Stop calling them that," she grunted, sinking down onto his lap, dropping her lotion.

"Anyway, as I'm only interested in the weird ones, how about this? You only call me for those and I only come in if the girls are in good care, such as in school or with my mother or your dad, though my mother could be debatable." He grinned at her from ear to ear.

"Rick," she scolded him.

"And I'll always be home at night. I'll always go home in time to tuck everyone in. How does that sound?"

She sighed. He wouldn't stop, right? She was fighting a lost cause. "I'll think about it, okay? But _if_ we do this you will do as I say at any time. You'll stay in the car and you'll go home if I tell you to and when I think it's not working for whatever reason, you're done. No puppy eyes, no whining. You understand?", she narrowed her eyes at him and Castle nodded eagerly.

"And I'll get to read it first," she pressed her finger against his chest.

"Yes," he nodded.

"I can't believe I'm actually considering this," Kate groaned.

"You love me," he quirked and she huffed out a laugh. She did, no use denying it.

"I do," she smiled and then placed a kiss against his lips, "And I'm so going to regret this."

"You won't, I promise," he tried to reassure her. "It's gonna be great."

"I have a pretty good idea how great it's going to be," she retorted, "I'm married to you."

"What are you saying? That being married to me is not a good thing?", he pouted, turning slightly hurt eyes up to hers.

"No it's not," she shook her head, biting her tongue not to laugh, "Actually it's," she paused watching him study her expectantly, "it's perfect."

"You're cruel," he huffed as he pulled her down to fuse their lips together. "So … perfect, huh?"

"I hate to admit it," she sighed dramatically, "but yes, it's perfect."

"Good, I think it's perfect too and working together will be just as perfect."

She wanted to protest, but he silenced her with his lips, pulling her down onto the bed to trap her under his body.

"I love you," he breathed, smiling down at her and watched her reaching up to cup his cheek with her hand, her thumb caressing the soft skin under his eye.

"I love you too," she smiled but grabbed his ear to twist it a second later, "but I swear if you pull a stunt like today, ever again, you are going to be grounded."

"Ouch, ouch, ouch, apples," he yelped, trying to twist out of her grip. "I _told _you the safety was on the whole time."

She glared at him and he had the decency to sober, "I promise. No more stunts. Scout's honor."

"You've never been a Scout," she pointed out but was grinning at him.

"You're sooo -," she pressed her finger against his lips.

"Shut up and kiss me."

For once he didn't need to be told twice.


	3. 3 A Life to Remember

XOXOX

Castle felt miserable, surely he was going to die, this couldn't be normal, no matter what his wife said, this was certainly not _just_ a simple cold. He felt like miniature aliens were climbing up and down his throat, ramming knifes into it while another armada of little monsters was working on his brain with jack-hammers and why was it so damn hot in here? Maybe he should call maintenance to get the AC checked out. He truly felt like burning up, beads of sweat running down his back and perspiration damping his forehead.

"DAD!", Jamie shouted from the living room, not for the first time and Castle remembered that he was on his way to see what the commotion he had been hearing for the past few minutes was all about. He shuffled slowly out off the bedroom where he had been lying down for the past thirty minutes and into the living room to find Alexis and Jamie glaring at each other, both holding a firm grip to one end of the remote control.

"What's going on here?", he asked, though Alexis and Jamie could hardly hear him, his voice barely more than a rasp.

"Alexis won't let me watch my TV show," Jamie complained, trying once more to pull the remote out of her sister's hand.

"Because there's a documentary on that I need to see for my school project," Alexis explained, only slightly calmer than her sister which told Castle that this dispute had already been going on for quite some time, while he had tried to get some rest.

"Okay, enough you two," he ordered. "Alexis you can watch your documentary and Jamie you will have to do without your show today."

"But that's not fair," Jamie replied, raising her voice again. "Why does Alexis always get to watch her stuff?"

"Because it's for school and therefore more important and I'm not going to argue about this any longer," Castle replied as calmly as he could manage while he thought his head was going to explode.

"You are mean!", Jamie shouted, stomping her foot when she saw her older sister sit down in front of the TV.

"Jamie Rowen Castle. Go to your room," Castle told her sternly and watched Jamie storm up the stairs and heard her door slam shut, the outburst waking Ellie who had been asleep upstairs and now started to cry. This was just what he needed right now, Castle thought as he made his way up the stairs as quickly as possible to get to Ellie. He certainly needed to have a word with Jamie about her behavior.

"Hey, hey it's okay. Daddy is here," he rasped as he walked into the room, his throat killing him with every word he tried to get out. "Your sister just slammed her door a bit too loud, that's all."

Picking Ellie up he placed her on his hip, her tears quickly stopping as she cuddled into his chest, her head resting in the crook of his neck.

"Daddy hot," she frowned, sleepy eyes lifting up to meet his and then just like her mother would, she reached up with her tiny hand and pressed it against his forehead. "Fever?"

He laughed and then bent over in a coughing fit, careful not to drop Ellie in the process, "I'm glad at least one of my girls doesn't think I'm just a hypochondriac."

Ellie grinned at him, even though she had no idea what the complicated word meant and then patted his chest in a soothing manner, "It's okay Daddy.", she said and his heart melted just a bit. Placing a kiss against the top of her head he carried her down the stairs to see if he could get a head-start on dinner while Ellie entertained herself with some of her toys.

XOXOX

When Kate came home three hours later she immediately felt the tension that seemed to consume the whole room. Jamie was sitting at the dinner table sulking, Ellie was crying while Alexis tried to calm her down and her husband was standing in the kitchen, looking as if he was ready to collapse.

"What's going on?", Kate asked as she made her way into the living room and over to him.

"Can you please take over? I just need to …," he pointed toward their bedroom with glassy eyes and didn't even wait for her to answer before he dropped everything and disappeared through the office without another word.

Watching her husband's slumped shoulders disappear through the doorway, she turned around, letting her gaze wander over her daughters who all looked at her with big innocent eyes.

"Okay spill, what's going on?"

XOXOX

"Hey Babe," she greeted him softly when she made her way into the bedroom over an hour later, sitting down at his side. All she got in return was a pitiful groan. She felt his forehead and sighed. "You're burning up."

"Told you this wasn't just a cold," he muttered into the pillow before he felt his wife's lips against the top of his head.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'll get you something for the fever and some water. Anything else you need?"

"What about the little terrors?", he asked, turning around to face her.

"You mean our kids?," she chuckled, "Well, it took some convincing but Jamie eventually apologized, they all shared a civil dinner, Jamie volunteered to clear the table and Alexis is getting Ellie into bed as we speak."

"You're extraordinary," he smiled, his hand reaching for hers as she huffed at him.

"I think that's the fever talking," she mumbled shyly and it never failed to surprise him that she could still be shy around him after all this time, that a simply heartfelt compliment from him still made her blush.

"Not the fever," he rasped before starting on another coughing fit and releasing her hand.

"I'll be right back," Kate told him, rubbing a hand over his chest before she disappeared through the office, making her way back into the kitchen. She grabbed some of Ellie's toys from the floor on her way, placing them in the box under the piano where they belonged when play-time was over when she heard footsteps and looked up to see Alexis coming down, a relieved smile on the girl's face.

"She asleep?", Kate asked, watching Alexis sit down at the counter.

"Yeah," the redhead sighed, "even Jamie is already in bed."

"You two okay?", Kate frowned and was glad to see Alexis nod.

"Well, you know," Alexis sighed dramatically, "once I told her that I taped her show I was her favorite person once more. She even asked if I could read her a story and so you can tend to Dad," she told her with a grin, "how is he anyway?"

"I hate to admit it, but he's actually not being a drama queen. He's really miserable. I'll get him something for the fever and see if I can stay home tomorrow to take care of him."

"He'll love that," Alexis nodded with a smile, "and don't worry I'll take care of the girls tonight."

"Thank you Lex," Kate smiled, leaning into the redhead to give her a hug. "But if they give you a hard time you come and get me, okay?"

"Will do," Alexis nodded and jumped up, "Tell Dad we love him and to get better."

"You can go and tell him yourself," Kate suggested, but Alexis shook her head, scrunching up her nose.

"Uargh and catch some of his germs? I don't think so. I have a math test on Thursday. Good night."

Shaking her head in amusement, Kate watched Alexis pound back up the stairs in record time and then turned to rummage through the kitchen cabinet that held most if their medical supply until she found some Advil and something for the cough.

Equipped with a glass of water, Advil and coughing syrup that was actually Jamie's, Kate made her way back to her husband whom she could still hear coughing his heart out in the bedroom.

Handing him the Advil and the water, she sat down next to him and once he had swallowed the painkiller, she offered him the syrup.

"That's Jamie's," he frowned but took the little plastic cup she held out to him.

"It's the only thing we have in the house right now. I don't think it will hurt if you take it," she replied with an amused smile on her lips at his fussing. "I'll get something for grown-up men like you tomorrow, okay?"

Castle nodded and swallowed the sweet pink liquid before handing the cup back to Kate.

"Have you eaten?", Kate asked, cupping his cheek with the palm of her hand and letting her thump caress the soft skin under his eye. He really looked exhausted.

"Not hungry," he mumbled, his eyes already falling shut again.

"You gotta eat something," she insisted. "How about some soup. I'm sure we have something I can heat up in not time."

"Okay," he agreed and sank back into the pillows, feeling her cool, soft lips against his forehead.

"I'll be right back," she whispered and received something like a grunt in return before she made her way into the kitchen once more to quickly warm up one of the leftover soups from the fridge. Keeping an eye on the chicken soup she dug out her phone from her bag and called Montgomery's private number. After explaining Castle's condition she was relieved that her boss approved her request to take the next two days off. She had enough overtime piled up anyway after two stressing cases in the past months and they had closed their current case today, so she really wasn't needed at the precinct. The boys could do without her for a couple of days.

She placed the soup and two slices of toast on a tray, adding some marshmallows to lift Rick's spirits and carried everything back into the bedroom where Castle seemed to have fallen asleep. Careful not to startled him, Kate set the tray down on the floor and gently placed her hand on her husband's chest.

"Hey Babe, wake up," she spoke softly and felt him stir under her touch.

His eyes opened slowly and he gave her a confused look when he found her sitting next to him, "What?"

"I have your soup," she said, pointing toward the steaming bowl.

"Not hungry," he huffed. "Wanna sleep."

Kate rolled her eyes, shaking her head, "You can sleep after you had something to eat. I'll even tell you about our case."

"You will? About the one with the frozen woman?", he asked, some enthusiasm returning to his features as he tried to sit up, but ending up needing Kate's help as the coughing started again. She stuffed another pillow behind his back and placed the tray on his lap, giving him a stern look she usually reserved for the kids.

"I will, but only if you'll eat up."

He nodded, already picking up the spoon and a piece of toast to dip into the hot chicken soup. Satisfied that Rick was at least trying, she left him to it to change into something more comfortable before making good of her promise. She was sure their latest case would at least keep his mind off of feeling miserable for a while. He had desperately wanted to join them on the investigation after he heard that they had found a woman frozen and tangled in steel bars at a construction side. But they had had an appointment with Ellie's pediatrician to refresh her MMR vaccine when they caught the case and the poor girl had been miserable for two days after it, leaving Castle with no choice but to stay at home. But Kate hoped she could lift his spirits with a a recount of the investigation.

He didn't even last long enough for her to finish describing the crime scene. His mouth hanging open as he snored softly, drool staining his pillow as she pulled the covers a bit higher over his chest and felt his forehead again before she picked up the tray to return it to the kitchen.

XOXOX

Sneaking into Ellie's room Kate found her youngest fast asleep, clutching Monkey Bunkeyto her whom Alexis must have given up for the night to ensure her kid sister's peaceful sleep. Kate let her fingers dance softly through Ellie's curls before carefully stepping out of the room and turning to the one next door.

Kate cracked the door open just to find a dim light shining from under Jamie's covers. Rolling her eyes she tip-toed toward the bed and with one swift motion pulled the covers away to reveal her surprised daughter who was now pointing the flashlight at her, her mouth forming a flustered _oh _as she tried to hide her book.

"Mom?"

"Flashlight," Kate demanded, holding out her hand. "Come on. Hand it over. It's confiscated."

"Mom," Jamie whined, but handed it over nevertheless. "Just a little bit longer."

Kate shook her head, "It's already past your bedtime and you have school tomorrow."

With a huff, Jamie turned on her back, accepting the covers Kate pulled over her, before holding out her arms for a goodnight hug. "Night Mamma."

"Good night Baby Bird, I love you," Kate smiled.

"Love you too," Jamie replied and when Kate was almost out the door she added, "I hope Dad doesn't snore too much."

"Me too," Kate chuckled, closing the door to walk down the hallway to knock on Alexis'.

"Come in," Alexis's muffled voice came through the closed door and Kate stuck her head into the room, finding Alexis in bed with a book.

"Everything alright up here?"

"Yeah, we're good," Alexis grinned. "Is Dad asleep?"

Kate nodded, moving into the room to sit down next to Alexis, swinging her legs up on the bed. "Yep, he was pretty exhausted."

"Is he snoring already?"

"Unfortunately yes," Kate nodded with a sigh, running her fingers through Alexis hair. "But I just hope he's able to get some rest and feels better in the morning."

Alexis nodded, leaning into Kate, tucking herself into her side like she used to do when she was younger.

"Something on your mind?", Kate asked, knowing her daughter well enough to sense that something was bothering the girl.

Alexis started fiddling with the covers obviously struggling to find the right words and Kate knew she needed to let her work through this in her own time, very much like herself Alexis didn't like to be pushed. So she just tightened her hold on the girl and waited.

"Mom called," Alexis finally mumbled. "She wants to visit."

Kate flinched. A visit from Meredith was hardly ever a pleasant occasion.

"You don't sound very thrilled about that," Kate observed. "Don't you want her to come?"

"Everything is such a chaos when she's here," Alexis sighed. "I know you all try to act normal, pretending she's not intruding but I'm not a little girl anymore. I know how difficult it is for you when she's here."

"Alexis," Kate sat up alarmed. "It was never my nor your dad's intention to make you feel uncomfortable about your mom visiting. I'm really sorry that we obviously not very good at it. She's your mom and …," Alexis cut her off.

"_You_ are my mom," she protested. "You know that right? _You are_ my mom. You are the one who keeps me in line, who helps me to figure things out when I can't do it myself. She's … she's … ."

"Your mom too," Kate stated softly. "In a very different way, but she's your mom and she loves you."

"I know," Alexis nodded and then fell silent making Kate feel guilty as hell.

It was true, having Meredith around was difficult. The woman just had a way to upset Kate, to make her feel insecure even though she knew there was no reason to feel that way. Yet Meredith always managed to hit a nerve. It was not because the other woman envied Kate of her relationship with Alexis. Meredith loved her daughter, there was no question about it, she just had a strange way of showing it. She wasn't cut out to be a mother, not in the way a young girl needed a mother and Meredith was very aware of that. After she had realized that Kate was going to stay, that she and Rick were solid, she had accepted Kate's role in her daughter's life. Never questioning the bond the two shared, never interfering in the choices Rick and Kate were making for Alexis and yet whenever she visited it was uncomfortable, especially for Kate. She had just thought she had been better at hiding it.

"Lex, I don't want you to feel guilty to have her here. If you want her to come I'll do my best to make it work and stay out of the way if that would make it easier for you, but don't miss out on time with Meredith because of me. I know what we two have. I'm not jealous. I'm your mom, nothing's gonna change that and it's okay if you want to spent time with your _other_ mom too. I'm sorry if I made you doubt that. It's just …," she trailed off.

"She's a handful?", Alexis suggested a small smile playing around her lips.

"Something like that," Kate nodded. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, thank you," Alexis wrapped her up in a hug. "I'll call her tomorrow and tell her to come."

"Good," Kate smiled and stood up. Wishing Alexis a good night she made her way back downstairs, making sure she had locked the front door on her way in earlier tonight before she crawled into bed next to her wheezing husband.

XOXOX

_AN: Thanks for the warm welcome back. I hope this chapter is not too messed up. It was a busy, hectic week but I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer.  
We will be getting to them working together in a bit. ;-)_


	4. 4 A Life to Remember

**A week later ...**

Kate walked onto the crime scene with a curt nod to Esposito and Ryan who were already hard at work before she let her eyes rest on the victim in front of her. She knew it was awful to feel this delighted about a dead body but when she had been called in this morning she just had to get out of the loft and away from it's unexpected overnight visitor.

Meredith "_The Hurricane" _had arrived the night before, much later than expected, after the actress had met up with some friends without informing anyone about the delay. Alexis had been devastated, certain that her mother would be a no-show and blow their plans for the next day to which she had been looking forward to.

The woman in question had finally arrived shortly after midnight. _Unfortunately_ without a hotel reservation. In the end, due to the late hour and everyone just wanting to go to bed and get some rest Castle had begrudgingly offered her the couch for the night.

Of course the makeshift bed hadn't lived up to Meredith's usual standards but Castle made it a rather clear, t_ake-it-or-leave-it _offer, not in the mood for his ex-wife's antics. Kate knew it was only for Alexis' sake that he had let her stay at the loft at all, yet it became clear in the morning, that Meredith was in no hurry to leave nor to make other arrangements for her further accommodation. Not even when Alexis and Jamie left for school and Castle was getting Ellie ready for kindergarten.

In the end Kate had more or less fled the loft and left Castle with the whispered order to deal with Meredith, making it clear she didn't want to see the woman any longer once she got back home.

With a heavy sigh and the realization that once again it wouldn't be easy to stay neutral toward Castle's ex-wife she brought herself back to the present and focused on the dead man in front of her. "What have we got?"

"Vic's an African-American male, early twenties, multiple stab wounds, contusions on the arms and torso. Body was discovered by a homeless guy," Espo filled her in, tipping of the points on his notepad.

"He was beaten, maybe tortured," Kate mused more to herself as she took in the information and the sight in front of her.

"Looks like some kind of ritualistic killing," Ryan offered and Kate nodded.

"Castle, would have a ball with this one", she said as she took in the strange set-up.

"Where is he then?" Espo frowned, "Didn't you agree on him following us on a coupe of cases?"

"Yeah, but Meredith is in town, so …," Kate didn't need to say more, both Ryan and Espo were very much acquainted with the trouble every visit of the woman brought along.

"You think she will try to have lunch in Paris again?" Ryan chuckled, bumping Espo's shoulder but received a glare in return from his partner.

"Dude," Espo chided him, "not cool."

"Sorry," Ryan sobered, remembering how upset Kate had been back then. "So Castle is keeping an eye on her while she's here?"

"He better," Kate muttered, before crouching down next to the victim, "Did someone check his mouth?"

"What?", Espo frowned, glancing at Ryan.

"His mouth," Kate repeated, "there is probably a little pouch in there."

Carefully prying the victim's mouth open, Kate indeed found what she was looking for and holding out her findings to the others.

"What does it mean?", Espo asked, looking skeptical at the _thing _in Beckett's hand.

"It could be Voudou," Kate explained.

"How do you know?" Ryan questioned, taking the pouch and the charm they found in it from Beckett and bagging it.

"Castle did some pretty intense research about West African religions for _Unholy Storm_," she said, standing up. "Why don't you guys finish up here while I go and check with our Voudou _expert _back home."

XOXOX

Castle had called their friend Michelle and invited her over for lunch. The woman was not only the owner of one of the best Nigerian restaurants in town but also a Voudou practitioner and right now their best shot at a better understanding of what had happened at the crime scene.

They were setting the table together while they waited and Kate kept glancing at the living room where she could still see the pillows and blankets Meredith had used last night.

"Don't worry," Castle startled her and she turned her head to look at him, "I made it perfectly clear that her staying here was a one time thing only."

Kate sighed, sitting down at the table to start fiddling with the cutlery.

"Kate?", Castle sat down beside her, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she huffed, avoiding to look at him. "Do you think we are handling this hole situation the right way?"

"What do you mean? Meredith?"

"Yeah, I mean maybe we should let her stay here. She's Alexis' mother after all and they don't get to see each other that often."

"And whose fault is that?", Castle snapped, because there was no way he would let his ex-wife stay here at the loft again just so she could run around half naked in the morning like she did today.

"Castle," she reached for him but he shook her off.

"No Kate, and she's not her mom. _You_ are," he huffed, clearly upset. "You're always there for her, you brought her up. What did Meredith ever do for her?"

"Babe, this is not about Meredith or you and I. We have do to what's best for our daughter."

"And you think it's best for Alexis to have Meredith sleep on our couch?", he challenged, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes ... no," she shook her head, "I just think we have to make more of an effort to include Meredith, at least when she's here."

"As if she's even interested in being involved. Where is this coming from?", he asked, taking a seat next to her, "Kate?"

"Alexis said something last week," she finally relented, her eyes traveling up to meet his.

"What? When?", Castle frowned. "She didn't say anything to me."

"When you were battling that fever," Kate explained.

"Oh," he nodded, "what did she say?"

"That she wasn't sure if it was okay for Meredith to come, because it's always awkward when she's here and she doesn't want me to feel threatened by her."

Castle's shoulders slumped. "She said that?"

"Yeah, apparently we've done an awful job to make it clear that Alexis should feel free to see Meredith whenever she wants and I don't want her to miss out on time with her mother because she worries it might make _me _feel uncomfortable."

"But it does. Meredith being here does make you uncomfortable. Hell it makes _me_ uncomfortable but I don't think we will improve the situation with Meredith staying here at the loft. That woman knows no boundaries."

"You mean the hot pants incident this morning?", Kate shot him a knowing look.

Castle shuddered and then reached for her hand, "Please, don't remind me. So what do we do? Talk with Meredith?"

Kate shrugged, "I think we have to at least try for Alexis' sake."

"Okay, okay we will do that," Castle nodded but was interrupted by a knock on the door, "but first you've got a murder to solve."

XOXOX

Alexis stepped out of her school, her eyes searching for her mother half expecting Meredith not to bet there to pick her up for their planned shopping date, but scanning the crowd of students, parents and nannies she heard her mother's shrill voice calling for her.

"Yuuhuu, Alexis darling. I'm over here," Meredith waved a pair of bright red gloves through the air and Alexis raised her hand to wave back at her.

"Hey Mom," Alexis greeted and hugged her mother. "Glad you could make it."

"Oh Alexis dear, of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world," Meredith stated dramatically, a bright fake smile on her face as if she was on a red carpet in Hollywood and not picking up her daughter from school. "I would have come and gotten you out of here sooner but after the "_Paris"_ incident -, "Meredith sighed heavily at the memory, "well lets just say your parents aren't the most spontaneous ones."

Alexis refrained from rolling her eyes, remembering that certain day all too well even though it had been years ago. Instead she got into the waiting town car, asking her mother where they would be going first.

"I thought we could start at Saks and walk down 5th Avenue and afterwards Macy's, what do you think? And maybe some of the small boutiques later? And if you like we could have dinner together and don't worry I already checked with your father and got his permission," Meredith said and Alexis nodded, a nervous smile on her lips as she fidgeted in her seat. She was trying to decide how to best broach the topic that had been on her mind for some time now and in the end she opted for just putting it out there.

"Mom, there's something we need to talk about."

XOXOX

They had found a second body during the day and still had no idea what connected the two victims. Jamal Bouncy was a Nigerian national who had entered the States on a student visa eighteen months ago, the same visa had expired a year ago while their second victim Darcy Cho was a second-year lawyer at a firm downtown. They had talked to Darcy's colleagues and had looked at her clients but no one knew who might have wanted to harm the young woman nor were they able to find any connection between Darcy and Jamal. Their only lead right now was a man named Charles Oni who supposedly owned a store on Canal street where Jamal had worked, but city records showed no vendor's licensed for a man with that name.

Kate sighed, slumping back into her chair, "Dead ends where ever we turn."

"What do you wanna do next?", Ryan asked, looking just as frustrated.

She was about to answer when a commotion at the elevator caught their attention and Kate was shocked to see a certain red-head approaching them.

"I'm not going to wait downstairs. Do you have any idea who pays your salary? Me and my taxes," Meredith nagged as she tried to get past LT.

"It's okay LT. She's with me," Kate called from her desk before making her way over to Castle's ex-wife, a forced smile on her lips, "Meredith, what a surprise."

"Kate, thank God. For a second I thought that over-eager officer over there was going to put me into one of your cells," the red-head quirked and Kate shot LT an apologetic look over Meredith's shoulder.

Kate ignored the comment and instead focused on the more urgent matter, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh unfortunately I've had to cancel my dinner plans with Alexis. Something came up. A great opportunity and I thought it was best to drop her off here instead of schlepping her all the way downtown," Meredith beamed at her as if she had just discovered Einstein's theory of relativity.

"Well okay," Kate nodded, not amused that once again Meredith was cutting her time with Alexis short. "Where is she?"

"Oh, I asked her to wait downstairs," Meredith explained, but Kate looked only more confused. "To be honest I wanted to talk to you."

"Me?", Kate frowned, looking over her shoulder to find Espo and Ryan watching them with hardly contained interest. "Okay, well uhm, why don't we sit down in the conference room?"

Kate shut the door, fiddling with two glasses of water longer than necessary before sitting down opposite from Meredith. An awkward silence surrounded them, both woman shooting each other polite, yet nervous smiles until Meredith finally cut to the chase for which Kate was grateful since she didn't want to keep Alexis waiting for too long.

"So I had an interesting talk with Alexis today," Meredith began an Kate dreaded what was about to come, "and I think apologies are in order."

Kate simply stared.

"Alexis told me that I tend to make things uncomfortable and difficult for you when I'm here and -," Kate cut her off.

"Meredith it's really not -," but the red-head held up her hand to stop her from going on.

"No, I get it and I'm sorry. It's just," she sighed and suddenly the usually so confident woman seemed surprisingly nervous and unsure of herself, something Kate had thought impossible. "You are intimidating."

"I - what?", Kate frowned. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand."

"Yes, there, I said it. You are intimidating. And not just when you're running around with a gun," Meredith stated. "Who am I compared to you? The crazy aunt from Hollywood. A not quite successful actress who abandoned her daughter and her husband. I'm very aware of the fact that if you wanted to keep Alexis from me - you could. And I know it doesn't seem that way but that would be devastating to me." Meredith sighed, licking her lips and taking a sip from her water before she went on, "Alexis looks up to you, she adores you and I can't blame her. Look at you, you're freaking perfect. The looks, the brains. You're great at your job and you're great with your family and I know I can't compare, not by Alexis standards anyway. Probably not by anyones standards."

"So I appreciate that you encouraged Alexis to call me when you very easily could have convinced her not to."

"Meredith we would never try to keep you away from Alexis," Kate said softly, finding some new respect for the woman in front of her.

"I know. Thank you," an honest smile played around her lips. "Anyway what I came here to say is, that I will try harder to not be my overwhelming self when I come here the next time and that I vow to always have hotel reservations from now on."

Kate actually laughed at that, "I'd appreciate that."

"Okay," Meredith sighed and stood up, holding out her hand to Kate, "thanks for hearing me out."

"You're welcome," Kate smiled, shaking Meredith's hand and leading the way out of the conference room.

Passing Espo and Ryan Meredith suddenly stops to spin around and point at the victims's purse that is currently lying on Ryan's desk, "Is that SJP's purse?"

"SJP?", Espo frowned, shooting Beckett a worried look.

"Sarah Jessica Parker. She wore one just like it to the Armani show on the lawn, it was on Fashion Scoop Daily last week," Meredith stated, clearly shocked that Esposito didn't know about this apparently universally known fact.

"Well, actually this purse belongs to one of our victims," Kate answered for her partner, a forced smile on her lips as she tried to move Meredith into the direction of the elevator, but the other woman simply stayed put.

"Oh, that is so tragic. More tragic of course if it had been the real thing, but still," the red-head sighed dramatically, giving the purse a pitiful look.

"Are you saying this one is fake?", Esposito asked, giving the purse a look-over.

Meredith huffed, clearly unimpressed with the detective's fashion knowledge or lack thereof, "Well, look at the leather and the stitching; it's totally a knock off. I mean, it's good enough to fool the untrained shopper, but I have a retail eye."

Kate's eyes widened. Could it be that Meredith had blown their case wide open? "Canal Street," she gasped, looking at her boys and all three of them knew they had just found the connection between their two victims, thanks to Meredith, though the woman didn't need to know that. Instead Kate finally ushered her to the elevator, exchanging two of those strange over the shoulder kisses with Castle's ex as they bid their goodbyes.

"Please tell Alexis I'll be right down," Kate said and Meredith nodded in return, before the elevator doors finally closed.

With a heavy sigh of relief Kate turned back to the other two detectives, telling them to call it a day and go home, they would hit Canal Street first thing in the morning.

XOXOX

Kate and Alexis walked into the loft to find the rest of their family already gathered at the dinner table, obviously only waiting for the two of them and Alexis hurriedly left her coat and boots at the door to join their family.

"Mom, can you hurry?", Jamie called over, "We're hungry."

"You will survive another two minutes," Castle shook his head at their daughter, before getting up to meet his wife at the door. "How did it go with," he quickly glanced over at the table, where fortunately Alexis seemed to be occupied with Ellie," you know who?"

"I'll tell you later," Kate whispered back, a smile on her lips, "Let's just say it was not what I expected."

"Good or bad?", Rick frowned.

"Good," Kate assured him, "come on. Let's eat."

They both walked over, Kate greeting her girls with Jamie grinning sheepishly at her.

"Sorry Mom, but you know how I get when I'm hungry. I just can't control it, it's like the hunger is taking over my brain. Like I'm some kind of Zombie," the girl explained animatedly and Kate shot a look at her husband.

"Rick, what did I say about reading _World War Z _to her?"

"Uhm, not to?", Castle grinned sheepishly. "Sorry."

"Don't worry Mom," Jamie said seriously, "unlike Dad I know they're not real."

Castle gaped at his daughter and muttered, "We'll see about that."

"Rick," Kate warned him and he shrugged, pointing at Jamie.

"She started it," he pouted.

XOXOX

"Is Alexis okay?", he asked, as his wife entered their bedroom through the office.

"Yes," Kate reassured him, "she's fine. A bit disappointed that Meredith canceled dinner but the rest of their day seemed to be pretty good."

Placing the book he was reading on his nightstand, Rick waited for Kate to join him in bed, pulling her over once she was settled so she could rest her head on his chest.

"And your talk with Meredith?", he asked. "What did she say?"

"You know I always forget that she has this other side because she so rarely lets it show, but it was good. She apologized for her behavior and promised to try harder the next time she's here," Kate told him, letting out a soft satisfied sigh when his fingers started to dance lightly over her back.

"She did say that?", Castle questioned, clearly surprised and a bit unbelieving.

"Yeah," he felt Kate nod against his chest, "apparently I'm not the only one who feels a tad threatened from time to time."

"Oh, so it _really _was a good talk then," Castle said.

"It was," Kate confirmed, "and you know, she even helped us with the case."

"What?", Castle gasped. "The Voudou case? That's so unfair. She's the reason I couldn't join you and now she's solving it?"

"First," Kate placed her index finger over his mouth to shut him up, "I didn't say she solved it. I said she helped and second, since you've done such a very good job on the _Meredith-look-out-job … ."_

Castle puffed out his chest in pride, "I certainly did. She didn't even try to leave Manhattan with Alexis."

"Exactly, so do you wanna come with me tomorrow and knock on some doors on Canal Street?"

"Really?", his eyes widened, sparkling with excitement.

"Mmh," she nodded, before rolling on top of him and bumping her hips into his, "but right now, I'd like you to do some knocking of a different kind."

"As you wish," Rick grinned, before pulling her down to press their lips together.

XOXOX

This was exactly the reason why she didn't want him to shadow her, Kate thought as they both ducked behind the kitchen island, taking cover from the flying bullets.

"Just stay down," she gritted, when she caught Castle trying to get a glimpse from around the counter.

"_You _stay down," Castle returned, pulling her back, when she tried to get up.

"I can't shoot him from down here," Kate huffed, but Castle just shook his head.

"Well, he can't shoot you either and that's kind of my top priority right now."

"What do you suggest we do to get out of here?", Kate asked. "I only have two rounds left and I can't see him from here."

"Wait," Castle held up one hand, pulling out his phone with the other and Kate nodded. This might actually work.

Showing her the picture he had just snapped, Rick then grabbed for one of the Champagne bottles from the counter. "When we shoot, he shoots. He'll be exposed. I'll set the pick - you take him down."

"You're just gonna get yourself shot," Kate shook her head, panic rising in her voice.

"Not if you make your shot count," he grinned at her. Her husband actually had the nerve to enjoy this.

"Castle," she almost pleaded, but he already moved to the edge of the kitchen island.

"Just be ready."

XOXOX

It had worked. It had actually worked and yet thirty minutes later, she was hiding in the staircase because she couldn't stop her hands from shaking.

"Kate?", she heard him call from one level up and she tried to take in a deep breath, to compose herself before he would find her, as sure enough she heard his familiar steps climbing down the stairs.

"Hey," he greeted her softly. "You okay?"

"You're an idiot," she huffed, shoving him away.

"Hey, hey," he pulled her back into his arms. "I'm okay. We're okay. It worked."

"I know," she mumbled into his chest. "You're still an idiot."

"I love you too," he whispered, before wrapping her up in his arms.

XOXOX

_AN: I hadn't planned to take this long to update, but this chapter just didn't cooperate. I'll try to be faster next time._


	5. 5 A Life to Remember

_**Two weeks later**_

Castle was on his way uptown after he had received a call from Kate, informing him that she would make a stop at the shooting range on her way home. She had sounded down and sad and he immediately knew that the case she was currently working on must have hit her hard. It was one of her coping mechanism to fire off a couple of rounds when something was bothering her and one call to her partners had confirmed his suspicion. So he had asked his mother to watch the kids for an hour and got into a cab to see if there was anything he could do to help.

He watched her for a moment, her tense figure, the hard edge to her usually soft and loving eyes and the grim tight line of her lips as she fired round after round into her target and after what Esposito and Ryan had told him he knew exactly why this case was taking a toll on her. A murdered mother, a daughter needing answers and a case that was going nowhere when his wife had made a promise she feared she had to break. It was on him now to give her a silver lining in a seemingly hopeless situation. He had done it before, he could do it again.

"You've got to watch those silhouettes. They can be shifty little bastards," Castle said when he finally stepped up behind her, his stealth approach making his wife jump.

"Rick," she gasped, surprise flickering through her eyes for a second before they turned hard again. "Do you mind? I'm trying to concentrate."

"Hey," he spoke softly, his hand curling around her arm to keep her from blocking him out. "I talked to Ryan and Espo."

"So?", Kate huffed, angrily pulling away from his touch to fire another round into the target's head.

"Wouldn't it be more of a challenge if they wouldn't be standing still?", he asked, knowing he was walking a fine line right now. Kate was upset and he knew she wasn't angry at him but that wouldn't stop her from lashing out when she felt vulnerable, knowing he would understand and that he could take it.

"Okay Castle, show me how it's done," she growled, pushing the gun into his hand and stepping aside to let him into the booth.

"Could you tell me again how it's done?", he asked sweetly and Kate rolled her eyes. He was an excellent shot, he didn't need her help, but she stepped up behind him nevertheless, her hands guiding him into the right posture.

"Square off target. Feet shoulder-distance apart," she instructed him, already feeling calmer now that he was here, his familiar scent, a mixture of his aftershave and something that was just him filling her nose. He smelled like home, "Gauntlet your right fist in your left palm."

In that moment Castle not so accidentally pulled the trigger, his shot hitting way off target.

"Whoops, shot to soon," he grinned sheepishly and Kate couldn't help but let out a surprised laugh.

"Yeah well, you know we could always just cuddle from now on, if that's going to be a permanent problem," she smirked back and realized that just like that he had pulled her out of her funk.

"Believe me, I have much more than cuddling planned for us once we get home," he told her with a knowing smirk.

"What are we waiting for then?", Kate asked, grabbing her gun and securing it before grabbing for his hand to guide him outside.

* * *

"How was your date with Owen," Kate whispered sitting down next to Alexis on the couch while handing Castle, who was already deep into the pictures of the stolen jewelry, a glass of wine.

"It wasn't a date," Alexis replied shyly. "It was a study group."

"How many in the group?", Kate inquired, glancing over at Castle who seemed to have a blast with the photos.

"Just the two of us," Alexis blushed.

"Mmmh," Kate leant into her daughter, "We'll talk about details later."

Alexis nodded, before quickly changing the subject, "What are these for?", she pointed at the pictures scattered on the coffee table.

"The case we're working on," Castle mumbled absentmindedly.

"_We?",_ Kate frowned, causing Castle to look up.

"Your mom," he finally muttered. "The case _your _mom is working on."

"Ah kiddo, she's got you wrapped around her little finger," Martha chirped from behind him, patting his shoulder and glancing at the pictures, "Uhh gorgeous, where have you been all my life?"

"You know, I'm thinking about installing a new security system. Maybe even a panic room," Castle suddenly stated, but Martha waved him off.

"A panic room? What for? Panic attacks?", she said dramatically, before taking another sip from her drink.

Alexis moved closer to him, her eyes sparkling with mischievous, "Anyone comes, we'll beat them off with swords. Or pens, since they are mightier."

"No I'm serious. I just want us to be safe," Rick said and Kate could sense he meant it. Martha and Alexis didn't know the details of her current case. How some of New York's richest inhabitants in the most secure buildings had been robbed and now even murdered. His fears were not unfounded, but she could hardly back him up right now without worrying Martha and worse Alexis.

"Oh, life isn't safe. Especially not in New York. Cranes collapse, air conditioners fall out of the sky. In the end, there's just a few short years. The most you can do is make the most of it before something knocks you down. 'People living deeply have no fear of death'," Martha enlightened them and Kate had to bit her lip to refrain from laughing. Her mother in law was obviously a bit tipsy.

"Anaïs Nin, mother? How many of those did you have?", Castle frowned, currently distracted from his panic room ideas.

"Oh, shhh," Martha shushed him, before making her way into the kitchen to pour herself another one.

"These are pretty incredible pieces. You wouldn't use a normal fence for these. You'd need someone with impeccable taste, someone who appreciated their value, someone who had high-end buyer connections," Castle mused, handing the pictures over to Kate.

"Powell. Oh, now there was a man. And you had to ruin it," Martha called from the kitchen, pointing a finger at her son.

"Who's Powell?", Alexis frowned, looking from her grandmother to her dad.

Castle waved his mother off, ignoring Alexis' question, "That was years ago. I'm sure he's forgotten all about that."

Kate laughed sarcastically, "Forgotten? You forced him into retirement. You ruined his life. He threatened to slit your throat. I put a detail on you for a month."

"You did?", Rick sounded way too excited about this news, "You never told me."

"I wonder why," Kate rolled her eyes, sipping from her glass of wine.

"Dad! Who's Powell?", their daughter asked again, now looking from one parent to the other.

"You remember that character of mine, uhm, Bentley Silver?"

"The jewel thief in _Storm Rising?"_

"Yeah, I kind of based him on Powell," Castle explained.

"Kind of? You stole the man's entire life," Martha huffed and turned her attention to Alexis, "And then your father, genius that he is, thanked him in the acknowledgements, completely blowing his cover."

"Well, he can't still be mad," Castle said, already standing. "I'm gonna see him."

"Dad!" Alexis exclaimed, worry written all over her face.

"Hold your horses," Kare pulled him back. "You're not going anywhere on your own."

"Okay, we're going together," he muttered, rolling his eyes when she didn't look and headed to pick up their coats.

"Don't worry Lex," Kate patted her daughter's shoulder, standing up as well, "I'll make sure his throat doesn't get slit."

* * *

"So I guess he was still angry with you after all," Kate smirked as she grabbed a bag of frozen peas from the freezer for Castle's slightly swollen and red jaw. "Here."

Castle took the peas from her, hissing when the cold bag hit his tormented skin, "But not angry enough _not_ to help us, right?"

"I hate to admit it, but yes his inside knowledge was helpful. Even though I have no idea how you convinced me to bring him to the crime scene."

"Well, I'm irresistible," Rick huffed, watching his wife roll her eyes.

"Yeah, sure. What ever you say. Oh, remember me to thank Martha for coming up with the idea to question Powell in the first place," Kate nodded solemnly, knowing her husband would be quick to claim his piece of the cake.

"Mother? I was the one who started that train of thought, she simply popped out the name before I could," he pouted. "Where is _my_ thank you?"

"Follow me to bed and you might get one," she winked at him, sauntering of, knowing he would be quick to follow.

Sure enough his jeans were already half way down his legs, his blue sweater blocking his view as he tried to pull it over his head, as he stumbled after her into the bedroom.

"Kate," he whined. "A little help?"

He heard her laugh from somewhere around him and then her naughty fingers were dancing over his stomach, trailing the rim of his boxer briefs, "What's the matter," she purred, watching with delight how his skin rippled under her touch.

"Kate, please," he pleaded, but only achieved that her hands wandered to his back and down, squeezing his ass as she leant in close to whisper into his ear.

"I'm sure you can manage. I'll be waiting right over there," she purred seductively and with one last squeeze she left him hanging and maybe just a bit standing.

* * *

Castle got her back for her little stunt the night before and in the end she had been the one pleading for mercy, wriggling under him. He was still grinning at the memory when he stepped out of the elevator at the precinct. He cautiously searched the bullpen for his wife, relieved to find that she apparently seemed to be occupied elsewhere. Hurrying over to her desk he placed his bribe right in the middle of it, before heading for the desks of her co-workers, knowing they would be elementary for his plan to succeed.

He made sure that everything was prepared to his satisfaction before fetching a chair from the break room to place it next to Kate's desk. Taking one last look at his arrangement he sat down to wait, glad that no one seemed to question his presence in the bull pen so far. Everyone knew him after all and her colleagues probably thought he was just stopping by to say hello.

Fortunately he didn't have to wait long until he heard the familiar click of her high heels against the hardwood floor. She was giving orders to Ryan and Esposito before suddenly stopping dead in her tracks and he figured she must have spotted him.

"Castle? What are you doing here?", Kate asked and he turned around to catch the mild look of concern on her face. "Is something wrong with the kids?"

"Huh?", he hurriedly got up, shaking his head and stepped up to her, "the kids are fine, or as fine as they can be when Mother takes them out for shopping."

He could see her relax as she stepped around him, her hand briefly curling around his arm in a more personal greeting and he knew this would be all the physical attention he would get from her while at work. She had a strict _No-Funny-Business _rule that applied for the precinct and crime scenes as he had learned on their first and so far only real case together. The Voudou shoot-out didn't count in his opinion. Her rule did not, howsoever apply for her Crown Vic and he had made maximum use of this exception while he had been allowed to ride along on the Tisdale case.

"What's this?", Kate frowned when she spotted the coffee and bear claw placed on her desk, next to a fresh bag of M&amp;M's. She looked at him, slightly narrowing her eyes. It was not like he never brought her coffee, he had even delivered his fair share of lunches over the years to make sure she didn't forget to eat during the more stressful cases, but he usually called ahead. He hardly ever just stopped by, so he was most definitely up to something.

"Castle man," Espo called over from his desk, chewing around a piece of donut and holding the other half up, "those from you?"

Castle nodded, "I just thought you guys could use a little treat, after all you are working very hard to keep this city safe and -," Kate cut him off.

"Stop right there," she told him, poking her finger into his chest, "don't think I don't know what you are trying to do here."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," he replied innocently, glancing at her partners, hoping for back-up, but Ryan and Espo were merely watching the exchange with amused interest.

"You want to stick your nose into this case," she stated and pointed at the murder board. "More than you already did last night."

"Me?", he raised his hands in innocence.

"Of course you. I thought we agreed that after what happened during the Voudou case, you wouldn't shadow me -," it was his turn to cut her off this time.

"She was stuck into a safe, Kate. How cool is that?", he exclaimed a bit too giddily and she knew instantly that this was not the reason why he wanted to be on the case. They had never gotten around to discuss his panic room idea again last night and Kate sensed Castle needed reassurance after what he had learned about the case, making light of things was simply his coping mechanism. Maybe being on the case would soothe his worries.

Still she leveled him with one of her glares and he quickly back paddled.

"Sorry, of course not cool at all, I know," he nodded before lifting his pleading eyes back at her, "but Kate, puh-lease. Just one more time."

"Come on Beckett," Ryan finally joined in from somewhere behind Castle's back. "He's already here. At least let him look at the murder board. You told us he helped last night. What harm can it do?"

"Beckett said _I_ helped last night?", Rick pointed a finger at himself, suddenly looking pretty smug.

"You and your mother, yes," Ryan nodded and Castle's shoulders dropped just as quickly.

"Mother, of course," he muttered, but kept his eyes on his wife.

Kate looked at Ryan and then Espo, who simply shrugged, letting her know he was cool either way and with a sigh she nodded, "Alright, but only for today."

"Yes," he shrieked, fist-pumping the air and then suddenly wincing in pain as Kate's elbow connected with his ribs.

"You keep that up and you're on your way back home, right now," she told him, "is that clear?"

"Crystal clear," his head bobbed, trying to reel in his excitement, but failed to keep the big grin off his face.

Beckett rolled her eyes, but stepped up to the murder board to fill him in on what they found out so far.

* * *

If looks could actually kill Castle would have been hiding Anne Greene's body by now, that woman certainly knew how to ignore a hint. While at his side Kate was trying to keep the interview on track without enforcing bodily harm to the company's director, Anne unashamedly kept flirting with him, even though he had more than once flashed his wedding ring at her at.

"I'm sure this is all a coincidence," the other woman said without looking at Kate.

"Unfortunately, I'm not. And that's why I'm gonna need a copy of your donor list as well," Kate replied curtly.

The artificial smile Anne shot her way was sickening, "That may be a problem. The people who give publicly, they're not an issue. But some of our donors cherish their anonymity. We're contractually obligated to protect that."

"What about their lives? Do your donors cherish those as well?"

"I assure you, my office will contact each of them and alert them to the situation."

"I'd really like to contact them myself," Beckett replied cooly.

"I'm sorry Detective, but my hands are tied. If you want my confidential donor list, you gonna need a court order," Anne Greene refused Beckett's request once more and stood up to return to supervise the preparations for tonight's gala with one last wink in Castle's direction.

* * *

"Kate!", he called after her as his wife stalked toward her Crown Vic in front of him. "Kate?"

"What?", she snapped, spinning around to glare at him.

"Hey," he reached out, but she dodged his touch. "It's not my fault she didn't give you the list."

"I know," Kate grumbled, already feeling stupid for taking her mood out on him. "She was flirting with you," she mumbled so quietly that he almost didn't catch it.

This time when he reached for her, she let him tuck her against his chest, "I know. Apparently she doesn't know what this means," he pointed at her wedding ring, " but I know. It means everything."

"Cheesy," Kate huffed, but was smiling at him.

"I have my moments," Castle grinned, before letting go of her so they could get into the car. "So what's our next step?"

"Mmh," she pursed her lips, giving him a once over. "Is your tux back from the dry-cleaner?"

* * *

"Oh Mom you look beautiful," Jamie sighed when Kate made her way out of the bedroom into the living room where Jamie and Ellie were waiting for her on the couch. "Like a princess."

"Yeah?", Kate twirled around, causing Ellie to clap her hands in delight. "You like it too Ellie?"

Her youngest nodded eagerly, grinning from ear to ear when she demanded of Kate to turn around once more.

"Where's your Dad?", Kate asked, glancing up the stairs where she had sent Rick to get ready since he couldn't keep his hands to himself.

"He always needs longer than you," Jamie said and jumped off the couch. "Can I get him?"

"You can tell him to hurry up, the car will be here any minute," Kate nodded and watched Jamie bounce up the stairs, barely having reached the upper floor when she hollered out.

"Dad, Mom's ready and waiting!"

"Uh, sounds like your Dad is in trouble," Kate grinned down at Ellie, letting the girl play with the hem of her dress.

Upstairs Jamie came crushing through the bathroom door where Castle was fumbling with his bowtie, letting out a frustrated sigh when it didn't come together the way he wanted to.

"Dad, let me," Alexis sighed, pushing his hands away. "You're making a mess of it."

"Mom's already waiting," Jamie informed them again, just in case they hadn't heard her the first time, and sat down at the rim of the bath tub watching as her older sister fixed their dad's bowtie.

"I know, I know," Castle grumbled and took one last scrutinizing view at himself in the mirror, "How do I look?"

"You look great Dad," Alexis rolled her eyes. It was not the first time he had asked this particular question. "You know she's already married to you, right?"

"Huh?", he turned around to look at her.

"She already loves you, with all your flaws. You don't have to impress her," Alexis smiled, patting his chest.

"But I want to impress her," he pouted.

"In that case, you look very impressive Dad," Alexis said and then looked at her sister. "Doesn't he?"

"Yes," Jamie nodded. "Mom will fall for you all over again."

"She better," Castle winked, before finally making his way downstairs to his waiting.

* * *

He knew that every man in the room had watched their entrance, even Ryan and Esposito's eyes had followed his wife into the venue, but _he_ was the one taking her to the dance floor and pulling her close, showing every man in the room who she belonged to and every women who he belonged to.

"When this case is over," he muttered into her ear, while his eyes scanned the room, "I'm gonna take you dancing."

"I'd like that," Kate replied, "maybe that little piano bar in the village."

"Mmm," he hummed, pulling her closer. "Have I told you how amazing you look in this dress? Even Bob couldn't take his eyes of off you."

"Yeah, the Mayor always had a week spot for me," Kate sighed dramatically, hiding her grin in her husband's neck.

"I might reconsider my next poker game with him then," Castle chuckled, before he elegantly dipped her and then froze.

"Hey look," Rick said, "that guy is taking pictures."

"So?", Kate grunted, trying to pull herself back up again.

"Oh, sorry," Castle helped her back on her feet and pointed her in the right direction.

"Isn't that Rachel Maddox's boyfriend?", Kate frowned.

Castle shuddered, "The girl that knew an awful lot about us. Creepy."

"So why is her boyfriend taking pictures of other peoples cleavages?", Kate questioned and then pulled him toward the exit. "Come on, let's talk to the boys."

* * *

Hours later Paul Reynolds had given them the whole story and an address to which they were headed right now. All four of them, even though Kate had tried to sent Castle home, but he had insisted to come along even pinky-promised to stay in the car and since they had already informed Martha that they would be out all night, he wasn't needed back at the loft either.

Right now she wished she hadn't left him alone in the car as she and the boys chased after Nadir who was heading right into Castle's direction. And sure enough when she rounded the corner she found her husband on the ground, Nadir slamming his fist into his face while trying to reach for his gun. She felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest as she started for the two men. In three quick strides she was at their side and slammed her foot down onto Nadir's wrist just as the man grabbed for his gun.

"Go ahead," Beckett growled, "I need the practice."

She waited until Espo and Ryan took over, before holding out her hand for Castle to help him up.

"I really tried to stay in the car," Rick stammered as he came to stand beside her, shaking a little.

"I know," she reassured him, "are you okay?"

"He hit me in the face, you know," Castle winced and looked kind of adorable in his indignation.

"Yeah," she nodded, "I saw that." She leant into him, placing a featherlight kiss beneath his eye. "Better?"

"Yeah," he grinned stupidly, "And that, '_Go ahead. I need the practice'_. That was classic. I'm so gonna use that in the book."

Kate rolled her eyes and tugged on his arm, "Come on let's go."

* * *

When she left Joanne Delgado, she knew that the pass in front of the young woman was a rocky one, but Kate also believed that having answers helped. Something that she herself had never had the privilege to receive. She had something else though, she realized when she found her husband waiting for her, leaning against her cruiser as she stepped out onto the sidewalk.

"Everything okay?", Castle asked.

She stepped into him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head against his chest, "It's gonna be hard. I hope she has someone to help her, to keep her from drowning in it. I gave her my card, just in case."

"I'm proud of you," he mumbled into her hair, knowing exactly what this case had done to her. That it had brought back memories of her own mother that she probably had no time to work through yet.

"I couldn't have done it without you, you know. Without you and the kids. I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't met you. If you hadn't changed my life, hadn't given me something much more important to live for than my mom's murder."

"You would've made it," he told her confidentially. "You're the strongest person I know. You would have found your way, no matter what, but I'm glad we did it together."

* * *

When they walked into their home, they found their family gathered around the breakfast table, cheerful greetings directed their way as Martha waved them over.

"Come on, you're just in time," the matriarch smiled at them. "We decided to skip breakfast in favor of brunch so that you might be able to join us after all."

"Oh Martha," Kate sighed, hugging her mother-in-law, "thank you."

Brunch with her family was just what Kate needed after this case and she had to fight back the tears that where threatening to fall at Martha's thoughtfulness.

"Is she okay?", Martha frowned at her son, when Kate made her way over to her daughters.

"Tough case, but this is exactly what she needs," he leant down and placed a kiss against his mother's cheek, "thank you."

"Oh," Martha touched her cheek, watching her son follow her daughter-in-law and ruffle Ellie's hair, causing Jamie to laugh before he softly kissed Alexis' forehead and Martha once more was captured by the happiness that filled the room. She had always wished for her son to find this, a family, something she had never been able to give him and it warmed her heart again and again that she was allowed to be a part of this every day.

Rick's eyes found hers and she gave him a shake of her head at the concerned rise of his eyebrows when he found her staring at them.

"Mother, come on," he beckoned her over.

"Yeah, Grams," Jamie called out as well, "Mom's about to tell us all about the ball."

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Martha laughed, quickly wiping away the moisture from underneath her eyes. "I certainly don't want to miss out on that."

"Mmh, okay," Kate nodded, once Martha was seated next to her, "Shall I begin with the red carpet?"

"Yes," Jamie and Alexis replied in unison, eyes sparkling, eager to hear all about the big night.

* * *

He had taken the kids to bed, after he had convinced his wife to take a bubble bath and was now on his way back downstairs. Alexis was still sitting at the kitchen counter, her nose deep in a book and he warned her once more not to stay up too late studying, but she just waved him off and so he let her be.

The bedroom was empty when he entered, only a couple of candles illuminating the space and so he continued into the bathroom, to find his wife crying her heart out in the bathtub.

"Kate," he hurried over. "Hey Kate. Babe, come on." He was slightly panicking and he sank down next to the tub.

"I miss her," she sobbed into his neck, as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her up and out of the water. "I miss her so much."

"I know," he mumbled into her ear, not needing any further explanation, as he pulled her closer, not caring that his shirt and jeans were getting soaked. "I know. I'm sorry."

"I want my Mom," she whimpered, clutching at his shirt and Castle's heart broke for her, he wanted to tell her it was going to be okay, but he knew they would only be empty words. It wasn't often that the loss of her mother hit her like this, but of course the case had upset her. It had only been a matter of time for Kate to hit her breaking point.

He reached for one of the towels she had placed next to the tub and wrapped her up in it. "Come on Kate, let's go to bed." He felt her nod against his neck, before gently guiding her into the bedroom. He tucked her in, quickly stripping down to his boxers and then joined her, letting her curl around him, his arms holding her close.

He held her for a long time, until she calmed down and he already thought she had fallen asleep when she suddenly spoke up, "You look pretty butch." She leant up on one elbow so she could examine his eye more closely. "Does it hurt?", she questioned, pressing her fingers into the purple and yellow skin.

"Ouch," he whined, shying away from her touch, "Only when you prod it."

"Sorry," she apologized and leant down to place a gentle kiss against the abused skin. "Better?"

"All my booboos get much better when you kiss them, or bigger," he grinned, pulling her back down so she could rest against his chest.

"You okay?", he finally asked and felt her nod, pressing a kiss over his heart.

"I'm okay."

_**TBC**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**July 2009**_

* * *

Castle was hot. He could feel beads of perspiration running down his back, disappearing to more southern, private areas of his body and he knew his shirt would be soaked before they even hit the road. It was the first day of July and he was standing alone out in the street, the sun was already burning merciless down on him despite the early hour.

The weather forecast promised a heat wave around the 4th of July festivities and he wished they were already at Jim's planed to spend the next couple of days up there and Rick couldn't wait to jump into the cool waters of the lake. He had no idea how he was supposed to survive without air conditioning for a week, but hopefully it wouldn't be as hot as in the city, where the air was so thick it felt like dragging him down, making it hard to breathe and of course his girls were taking forever to get the rest of their stuff down to the car.

He had offered to help but Kate had told - no _ordered _him to stay away from their baggage, saying he would only mess things up again- _as if_. He just wanted to make sure they didn't forget anything and maybe he could have sneaked his remote controlled helicopter in as well while at it.

* * *

"Are we sure we got everything?", Kate asked for the third time as she carried the last bag through the lobby, Alexis hot on her heels with her sisters' backpacks slung over her shoulder.

"I think so," the girl replied, rolling her eyes, since she had already given her mother the same answer the last three times. She looked over her shoulder, making sure that her younger sisters followed and didn't sneak away again, before going on, "I double checked and Dad is at the car so he couldn't have gone through the bags again."

Her father had the nasty habit of going through already packed bags, tossing half of its content out in the process, so Kate tried to keep him occupied with other tasks once she was done packing. Basically she tried to keep him out of the whole packing process, since he always wanted to pack the most ridiculous stuff no one needed, using up all of the space.

"Let's just hope he didn't sneak back up again," Kate grinned, thanking Eduardo as he held the door open for them.

"What's taking you so long?", Castle whined upon finally seeing his family spill out onto the sidewalk. "I've been waiting forever and it's freaking hot out here."

"It's been like ten minutes Dad," Jamie huffed unimpressed, climbing into the back of the car, while Alexis helped Ellie into her booster seat.

"And why didn't you just wait in the lobby?", Alexis questioned, shooting him a look over her shoulder.

"We wanted to be on the road an hour ago," he complained, ignoring his daughters reasoning and taking the bag from Kate to place it in the trunk, before ushering his wife around the back of the car.

"When did that ever work out, huh? You're traveling with four girls after all," Kate smirked, but quickly rounded the car to climb into the passenger seat. She knew Castle was eager to get on the road and out of the city and to be honest she was too. They really could use some relaxing days away from their hectic everyday life.

The past months had been exhausting for both of them, filled with a couple of challenging cases, the worst one the kidnapping of a little girl. She had wanted Castle to stay out of it, knowing what cases involving children could do to someone, but he had insisted to be at her side and in the end she had been glad he did. They were always stronger together. Being parents themselves it had been hard to see the Candela's struggle, even harder to learn that the mother had been behind the whole thing. They both couldn't understand how a mother could do this, no matter how estranged she was from her husband.

And of course there had been the additional inconvenience of Will Sorenson, the lead agent of the FBI team they had been assigned to work the case with. Sorenson had been less then subtle about his attraction toward Kate and Castle and the agent had almost ended up in a fist fight when her husband caught the other man trying to kiss Kate in the kitchen of the Candela's home. The red mark Kate's hand had left on the agent's face had been visible all day, much to her satisfaction.

And then they had unexpectedly crossed path with the man again only a couple of weeks later when Kate had called in a favor to get a lead on their current case, unknowing that Sorenson had already been involved in a different way.  
The FBI agent had ended up in the hospital after getting shot, but luckily was expected to make a full recovery. After that case Kate and Castle had decided it was time to take a couple of days and leave town with their family.

"You think we can trust Mother with the loft?", Castle asked as he pulled out into traffic and Kate effectively out of her thoughts.

"Are you afraid she'll trash the place in our absence?", Kate laughed, checking one more time that everyone in the back row was tucked in and buckled up safely.

She found Alexis listening to her IPod, staring out the window while Jamie seemed to be already half asleep, eyes closed and head propped up against the window. Only Ellie was grinning brightly back at her from the middle seat, holding out one of her picture books only to snack it back with a giggle when Kate reached for it.

"Well, she's inviting friends," Castle replied with so much disgust has if his mother was inviting the lowest scumbags of Manhattan to their home. "Who knows, maybe she's having an orgy."

Kate snorted and was about to say something in return when they were both startled by Jamie.

"Dad?", the girl asked from the back row, where she obviously hadn't fell asleep just yet, "What's an orgy?"

Kate snorted again, watching Castle's face turn red as he tried to come up with a PG rated explanation for his presumption of his mother activities during their absence, "Uhm ... ."

"What your dad means is that Grams is going to have a party," Kate rescued him and felt his hand squeeze her knee in a silent thank you.

"Cool, can we have an orgy at the cabin too?", their daughter asked, looking excitedly from one to another.

"Uhm," Castle gulped, watching his wife biting her tongue not to laugh out loud. "We'll see."

"Okay," Jamie nodded, obviously satisfied with that answer while Kate shot her husband and amused look, raising her eyebrows.

"We'll see?"

Castle just shrugged, because really? What could he say? He would only make matters worse and so he kept his eyes on the road and his mouth shut, while Kate quietly chuckled at his side. He would never hear the end of this.

* * *

"Wait, wait, wait," Kate called the girls back who had jumped out of the car the second Castle had stopped in front of the cabin. "Everyone is taking at least one bag inside on their way in, alright? Thank you."

With dramatic sighs the girls all grabbed their own bags and even Ellie more or less dragged hers toward the cabin as Castle stepped up to his wife, slinging an arm around her waist, "I love it when you're bossy."

"Oh yeah?", she grinned, pressing a kiss against his cheek, "Be a good boy and I might be bossy tonight as well."

Castle wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, obviously liking her idea, "Maybe I should better be a bad boy then."

"Or I could start right now," Kate smirked, giving his ass a rough squeeze, "get moving. I wanna go for a swim."

"As you wish," Castle saluted and grabbed two of their suitcases as Kate took the last two bags and together they made their way to the cabin.

Her dad's retreat had underwent some extinct remodeling over the past years. What used to be a small two bedroom cabin had transformed into a two floors, five bedroom _cabin mansion,_ as Castle liked to call it. With his growing family Jim Beckett had decided to extend the property and within two years after Kate's and Rick's marriage, a lot of work and help from friends and to Jim's dislike even some of Rick's money, Jim Beckett now owned this little monstrosity in the woods, which still would hold enough room if they decided to add one more to the family as Jim had told her with a wink after Ellie was born.

The girls' rooms were on the ground floor, while the master bedroom had moved upstairs, next to the room Jim usually occupied when he was up at the cabin. Martha had only joined them once so far, proclaiming after only one day out in the woods that she was simply not made for the simple life. She hadn't been back ever since.

Despite the size of the house, it was still simple compared to their luxury home in the Hamptons or even the loft and that was something Kate appreciated about this place. They were rich, after all her husband was a bestseller-writing-multimillionaire, but out here that didn't matter. There were no fancy restaurants, no gourmet grocery stores, just Mr. Darcy's little store in the next town where you could stack up on the essentials. There was no TV and no internet and the evenings were spent with cardboard games, reading, story telling and simply being together. It were those times Kate treasured the most, when she could simply be with her family away from murderers and all the bad in the world that she saw everyday at work.

"You're ready to go for a swim?", Castle startled her, when he stepped into their room, Ellie sitting on his hip, both of them already dressed in their swimming gear. Ellie in her Wonder Woman swim suit and her Batman swimmies and Castle in his Green Lantern trunks.

"I'll be right down," Kate nodded. "You guys go ahead. I'm sure the girls are impatient."

"Jamie and Alexis are already down at the lake. I couldn't hold them back any longer," Rick shrugged. "But Ellie and I can wait for you, right?" He looked at his baby girl, "We'll wait for Mommy, don't we."

"Yes," Ellie nodded happily, not bothered by the delay at all.

"You put sunscreen on?", Kate asked, grabbing her bikini.

"Everyone but me," Castle informed her with a grin, "I thought you'd like to help."

Kate laughed and winked at him, "I'll do you, if you'll do me."

"Kate!", Castle let out a shocked gasp, his free hand covering one of Ellie's ears, "Not in front of the kid."

Kate rolled her eyes and then watched the two of them climbing back down the stairs after Rick told her to hurry, while he and Ellie would pack a picnic basket and wait for her in the kitchen.

* * *

"What are you doing?", Kate frowned, lying on her stomach, while Castle was supposed to put sunscreen on her back, but instead was apparently misusing it as a canvas.

"Nothing," he quipped,keeping at it.

"Mmm," she mumbled, but let him be, the day was too lovely to be bothered by her man-child of a husband, plus his dancing fingers on her back felt really nice.

"Mom! Dad!", Jamie hollered from the lake, "Are you gonna come in or not?"

"Nooo," Kate groaned, she had just been about to drift off and to get into the cold water was suddenly very unappealing.

"Come on, it will be fun," Castle whispered into her ear, leaning over her back, before standing up at her side and holding out his hand.

"Alright, alright," Kate sighed, letting him pull her up just to have him take off the next second.

"Last one in is a loser," Rick called out and was already half way down the dock.

Kate shook her head and followed in a much slower pace, not interested in Rick's antics as she watched him dunk an impressive canon ball into the water and emerge next to Alexis and Ellie to exchange high-fives with them.

"Where's Jamie?", Kate called out and Castle raised his hand to point at something behind her, but before he could get a word out someone rushed past Kate, calling, "Watch out!", before a big splash left Kate wet from head to toe.

"There she is," Castle laughed, grabbing Jamie, who had just come up right in front of him and her sisters, to throw her further out into the lake. The girl squealing in delight as she hit the water once more.

Kate finally had enough of being an outsider to the aquatic fun her family was having, besides she was already soaked anyway and so with an elegant header she joined them in the lake, just to find herself in the middle of a splashing contest.

* * *

"Who wants another smore?", Castle asked, as they all sat around the camp fire in front of the cabin and three sticky hands were held out to him. "Kate?"

"I'm good," his wife shook her head, leaning back against one of the tree trunks that were placed around the fire place, taking another sip from her red wine and watching Castle hand out another round of marshmallows to Alexis and Jamie, before helping Ellie with hers.

"But that's the last one," Kate said, "it's getting late and it's already way past Ellie's bedtime."

"But Mom, we're on vacation," Jamie pouted, contradicting her own statement a second later with a wide yawn.

"You're Mom is right," Castle nodded. "It's late and we all had a long day."

"Alright," Jamie hung her head and got up with a heavy sigh. Her older sister was already folding their blankets, while Castle started to pack everything else up.

"I'll take the little one to bed," Kate told Castle and picked Ellie up, the girl's eyes already drooping.

He nodded, placing a kiss against Ellie's head, "We'll be right behind. Night Ellie."

* * *

"Hey, everyone in bed?", Kate asked, looking up from where she was sitting on their bed, rubbing lotion into her leg as Castle dropped down heavily onto the mattress next to her.

"Yeah, they're out cold," Castle replied, rolling onto his side to watch Kate working the lotion into her other leg. "I love your legs," he sighed, his eyes following the motion of her hands.

She looked over her shoulder, "Only my legs?"

He crawled over to her, pressing his lips against her exposed shoulder, "Well, I like your shoulders too," he mumbled, "and your hair," his fingers started to play with her curls than running down her neck, while his other hand started to travel up her leg, "I love your eyes and your cute nose, those soft lips," he kissed her, trailing his lips down her neck, descending down the valley between her breasts and pushing her loose shirt out of his way. "I love your boobs," he grinned when he heard her chuckle and then moan as one of his hands reached the addressed area. Kate arched into his touch, dropping the lotion to the floor as she turned and rolled on top of him. "Yeah, definitely your boobs."

* * *

Later, after two rounds, she lay sprawled out over his chest, his fingers drawing soft patterns on her lower back, while they still tried to catch their breaths.

"Your dad's coming on Friday, right?", he asked into the post-coital silence that surrounded them.

"Mmmh," Kate murmured, "in the afternoon."

"Okay, that's good. Jamie wants to keep working on their tree house," Castle mumbled, his eyes already drooping and he had almost drifted off when he heard her quiet voice.

"Rick?", she whispered, sounding hesitant.

"What's wrong," he frowned, sitting up slightly to have a better look at her.

"I think he met someone," she said so quietly that he almost didn't hear her.

"Who?", Castle asked stupidly, but this information was kind of coming out of nowhere, "Jim?"

"Yeah."

"What makes you think that?", Castle questioned, his fingers lifting her chin so she was looking at him.

"I mean I'm not sure. He didn't say anything, but when we went to lunch last week, he was on the phone with someone and he seemed to be in a hurry to hang up when he saw me come in."

"There could be a million reasons for hanging up, mainly not wanting to be impolite," her husband reasoned.

"Yes, but when I asked him who we was talking to he changed the topic. I don't know, he seemed off."

Castle considered what she said for a moment before he carefully phrased his reply.

"Lets consider - and I'm not saying you're right, because even you - my dear Detective - have to admit that this is all very circumstantial, but let's say Jim did meet someone. How does that make you feel?"

Kate sighed, biting her lip as she tried to gauge the feelings that were stirring up in her when she thought about her dad with a new woman at his side, "I'm not sure. I mean I don't think he should be alone for the rest of his life. He has the right to be happy again, he deserves to be happy, but … ," she trailed of.

"But it's hard picturing another woman than your mother at his side," he finished for her.

"Yeah," she mumbled.

"You know, she could never take your mom's place, right?"

"I know," she nodded. "I'm being silly."

"No Kate, no. You're not being silly. I totally understand and _if _your dad has met someone and he's ready to tell us, we'll deal with it together, okay?"

"Okay," she nodded, snuggling back down into his side, "thank you."

"Whatever happens, it's gonna be alright," he whispered into her hair, before they both finally drifted off to sleep.

_**TBC**_

_**AN: I know this has taken forever and yet it was written in kind of a hurry, so I apologize if there are more mistakes than **_**_usual. Work has been a bitch lately. I hope it'll get better and I'll be able to update more frequently._**


	7. 7 A Life to Remember

xxxx

It was a little after two when they heard a car coming down the gravel road toward their secluded cabin and immediately Jamie was up and about, running toward the front of the house to see who it was.

"Grandpa," the girl called out as she ran down the path toward Jim Beckett who was climbing out of his car.

"Jamie," he laughed, catching his granddaughter as she flung herself into his arms.

"Are we going to work on the tree house?", she asked immediately, still clinging to her granddad, not losing a second to get down to the important things.

"Of course," he nodded, "and I thought you, me and your sisters could go camping tonight at our secret place."

"Really?", Jamie's eyes went big, "That would be awesome, but I'm not sure that Ellie is old enough."

Jim laughed, pressing a kiss against his granddaughter's forehead before placing her back on the ground, "Okay, we'll ask your mom first. Where is the rest of the family anyway?"

"We're here Dad," Kate greeted him, standing on the porch with Ellie sitting at her hip. "Alexis and Rick are down by the lake, up to nothing good I'm afraid."

"Perfect," Jim chuckled and let Jamie drag him toward the house where he shared another round of hugs with Kate and Ellie.

"You look good Katie," he observed with a satisfied nod. Jim had been worried about his daughter the last couple of weeks. After some rough cases she had looked pale and tired, worn out, but it seemed that after only two days in the sun, she already looked more like her old self again.

"I am good, Dad," she reassured him. "Getting away for a couple of days was just what all of us needed."

"That's good," Jim sighed with relief. "Now, how about I'll get changed real quick and we all join Alexis and Rick at the lake?"

He received eager nods for his proposal and only ten short minutes later, all of them were making their way down to the lake. They found Rick and Alexis right in the middle of another epic water battle, water pistols and all and Jim, Jamie and even Ellie were eager to join them. Kate stayed behind, preferring to work on her tan and reading one of the books she brought with her over shouldering one of Rick's _Super Soakers_.

* * *

"Hey," Kate was greeted an hour later by her husband who managed to dribble cold lake water all over her in an attempt to reach for his towel, before plopping down at her side, "Jim wants to take the girls camping tonight."

"Ellie too?", Kate frowned.

"Yep," he nodded, "said it's never to early to start _camping education 101_."

"U-huh," she frowned, unconvinced that this was actually a good idea.

"It's not too far from the house, so if she gets scared he can bring her back in no time. But …," he went on, letting his fingers dance over her naked back, "this means, we'll have the house to ourselves tonight … ." He wriggled his eyebrows, causing Kate to huff. Her husband was about as subtle as it could get.

"Is that so?", she replied nonchalantly, "Well maybe I'll turn in early then. Getting a good night's rest. I could really use some sleep."

"Wha-? Kate," he whined, moving closer to her. "No kids. Come on. Nothing off limits, not even the kitchen," he muttered, careful that the girls and Jim couldn't hear him.

"We'll see," she said dryly, hiding her smirk behind her book, when Rick fell down on his back with a loud and frustrated groan.

"You're killing me," he muttered and then flung his wet towel at her.

"Ihhhh," she shrieked, jumping up to throw the towel right back at him. "What was that for?"

"You know exactly what that was for," he smirked up at her.

"Maybe you should go camping with my dad and the girls tonight then, huh?", she shot him a challenging look, which shut him up effectively. "That's what I thought."

"Trouble in paradise?", Jim asked with a twinkle in his eyes as he watched his daughter march off toward the cabin.

"You know Jim," Castle mused, "sometimes your daughter is really frustrating."

"Don't I know it," the older man laughed, "she's got that from her mother and you know what? I think Kate passed it on to Jamie. With Ellie it's too early to tell, but we should better watch out."

Both men chuckled, exchanging knowing looks when they felt a shadow falling over them.

"What did I pass on?", Kate questioned, her hands at her hips as she stared down at her father an her husband.

"You're charming smile," Jim offered with a shrug and watched his daughter narrow her eyes at him. Of course she wasn't buying his act, but before she could say anything Jamie was calling out to them from the dock.

"Grandpa! Look!", she shouted, waiting for Jim to turn his attention to her, before sprinting to the end of the dock and jump into the water with a impressive splash, leaving Alexis and Ellie giggling in the spray.

"I guess this is something _you_ passed on?", Jim looked at his son-in-law and received a sheepish, yet proud grin in return. "Good job," Jim nodded, before standing up to join Jamie and the girls once more in the water.

"When do you wanna get dinner started?", Kate asked, still standing behind Rick, so he had to lean back and look up to see her.

"Jim said, he and the girls will eat at their campsite, he might even have said something about going fishing, so whenever we get hungry I guess," Castle squinted against the sunlight. "Or we could go to that little diner, up on the main road."

"Uargh, no," Kate shook her head, pulling a face, "that place is greasy."

"Yeah, you're right," Castle shuddered, remembering the last time they ate there. "Okay, how about after Jim and the girls leave for their adventure," he lowered his voice to catch her attention and sure enough, she knelt down next to him, her eyes sparkling in anticipation, "I draw you a bath, a nice bubbly bubble bath and while you relax in the tub, I'll create a romantic candlelight dinner just for the two of us."

"Are you trying to get me in the mood Castle?", Kate asked, her voice much breathier than she liked, because of course her husband's words and his tone were affecting her and he knew it all too well.

"Oh babe, you have no idea," Castle winked, before getting up to help Jim dry off the kids.

* * *

They were laying in front of the fire place, even though the temperatures were still bordering on the hot end of the scale, even this late into the evening, but Castle had thought it to be more romantic.

After the promised bubble bath and the romantic dinner Castle had stayed true to his word and they made good use of having the cabin to themselves and so after an enthusiastic round on the kitchen counter, they were now relaxing in the warm glow of the fire, not bothering to put any clothes back on, it was way too warm for that anyway and Castle wasn't done with his wife quite yet.

"What are the plans for tomorrow?", Castle mumbled into his arms, on which his head was resting, feeling Kate stir where she was draped over his back.

"Barbecue I believe was the verdict," Kate replied, letting her nails scratch up and down his sides, making him pure in delight.

"Do we need to go grocery shopping?"

"No," he felt her shake her head, "my Dad brought everything we need."

They were both quiet for a while until Castle suddenly pushed himself up on his forearms, looking at the front door, "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?", she frowned, not amused that he had managed to jolt her half off his back where she had been really comfortable.

"There was a noise outside," Castle whispered.

"It's probably an animal or the wind," Kate shrugged, trying to get her husband to lay back down.

"I don't think -," he didn't get any further.

"Rick? Kate?", Jim Beckett called out, approaching the front door of the cabin, "are you in?"

"Shit," Castle hissed, getting onto his feet, his eyes darting around like the ones of a wild animal trying to escape its hunter. "What now?"

"I don't know," Kate hissed, throwing a look over to the kitchen area where their clothes were laying around. They would never make it in time and sure enough they already heard Jim stepping up the front porch.

"Katie?", Jim called out again, opening the front door and stepping into the living room, finding it deserted, even though the fireplace was lit up, which elicited a small chuckle from Jim. Leave it to his son-in-law to light up the fireplace during a heat wave. But he figured that his daughter and her husband had moved things elsewhere, when he saw the piles of clothes laying around and he quickly averted his eyes.

Jim Beckett was not a prude man and of course he knew that Kate and Rick were sexually active, but he certainly didn't need reminders of this fact in form of his daughter's underwear. He quickly crossed the room to get what he came for and with the flashlight and extra batteries in hand he left before his daughter and her husband could make a reappearance.

The minute they heard the front door close, Kate and Rick crawled out form behind the couch, both spotting the same color of red as they looked at each other.

"That was close," Castle observed unnecessarily, which earned him a huff and an eye roll of his wife.

"You think?", she retorted, before making her way into the kitchen and grabbing his shirt to pull it on.

"You think he's coming back?", Castle frowned, searching for his boxers and finding them in one of the pots on the stove.

"Better be safe and take this back up to the bedroom," she shrugged, unwilling to let their romantic night end, but not wanting to experience a repeat of her dad almost walking in on them.

"You know it could have been worse," Castle said when he climbed up the stairs after her.

"How?", she questioned, looking over her shoulder.

"He could have come in twenty minutes earlier, while I had you moaning my name on the kitchen counter," he grinned smugly, enjoying another of her eye rolls.

"You are impossible," she growled as she pulled him into the bedroom.

* * *

"Weather doesn't look good," Jim observed the next day while they were working on Jamie's tree house.

"You think it's gonna rain?", Rick asked, watching the clouds roll in from over the mountains.

"Probably worse," Jim replied. "Looks like a thunderstorm to me."

"Does that mean no barbecue?", Jamie asked, looking up from her task of getting a nail straight into one of the boards that would be part of the fourth wall of the house, the floor and roof already completed.

"I'm afraid," her grandfather nodded, "at least not outside. But I'm sure we can make a nice indoor barbecue at the fireplace. After all your mom and dad have already tested it yesterday.

Castle's eyes widened as Jim threw him a knowing look and he started coughing at the implication that Jim had made them after all, had seen them in their hiding spot behind the couch, stark naked.

"Maybe it's gonna pass," Jim tried to cheer the girl up, ignoring Castle's bewildered look, though he wasn't hopeful. He had spent enough summers out here to know when the weather was going to take a serious turn for the worse.

"Do we have to stop now?" Jamie asked, letting her eyes wander over the half finished tree house. She had hoped they would be able to at least get some more work done this weekend.

"We still have some time," Jim reassured her, "but Rick, maybe you could go back to the house and carry some stuff inside? I don't want anything flying around if the wind picks up."

Castle nodded, handing back the screwdriver and starting his careful descent down the tree, "I'll try to call Kate. She and Alexis wanted to hike around the lake with Ellie, maybe it's best they come back right away."

Jim glanced once more at the clouds rolling over their heads and had to agree. Better be safe than sorry, he thought and gave Rick a nod. "I think that would be best, if they're not already heading back. The trails is not too long."

"Okay, I'll see you guys later," he smiled at Jim and gave Jamie a small wave, which the girl didn't see because she was way too concentrated on getting another nail into the board where her granddad had marked it for her.

Castle made his way back to the cabin, which wasn't that far from the tree house and started to collect various items his family had left laying around in the grass on his way. Rick wasn't an expert on weather changes or weather in general, but his father-in-law had looked worried, even though he tried to hide it from Jamie and Rick had no doubt that they were in for an unpleasant treat later today.

It had probably only been a matter of time with the high temperatures over the past days for a cooling storm to come in, he had just hoped the weather would hold until they were back in the city.

He placed the towels and sun blocker he had picked up onto the kitchen counter and started to look for his phone, finally finding it in Ellie's bed. The girl had probably snagged it from the breakfast table in the morning and tried to hide it, something she attempted on a regular basis. With a grin he picked it up and dialed his wife's number only to have her voicemail answer the call. She must have no service out in the forest, he thought and with a soft curse he typed a quick message, informing her of the changing weather and asking her to come back, hoping she would read it once it got through to her.

There was not much he could do right now, he would try calling her again later, but for now he made his way back outside to carry everything into the house and to move their cars to the back of the cabin.

* * *

An hour later Jim and Jamie came back to the cabin, the girl obviously disappointed that they couldn't spend more time working on the tree house.

"What if the wind blows it away?", Castle heard her ask and Jim leant down to ruffle her hair affectionately.

"Don't worry Jamie. You did a good job, a little bit of wind won't blow it away."

"Are you sure? But what if it does?", she raised her big blue eyes to look at him.

"Then we rebuild it," he smiled easily. "We have all summer to come back and get it done. Don't worry."

"Okay," Jamie nodded relieved, before sprinting off to bring her little kids tool belt inside.

"Did you reach Kate?", Jim asked as he stepped up to Castle on the porch, who shook his head.

"No, it keeps going to voice mail," Castle said, looking nervous.

"It's okay son. They still have time to come back before it starts," Jim tried to reassure Rick, but was worried himself. Kate and Alexis had Ellie with them, which would definitely slow them down one way or another and the sky was getting darker and darker by the minute.

Another thirty minutes later the downpour started and Castle was pacing the porch, watching the trees near the lake where his wife and two of his daughters should have appeared a while ago, but everything stayed quiet beside the rolling thunder in the distant and the pouring of the rain.

"I'll go and see if I can find them," Jim said appearing at his side, dressed in a raincoat and an ancient looking rain head, holding a torch in one hand.

"I'll come with you," Castle said eagerly and was about to rush inside to get his own coat when Jim held him back.

"One of us has to stay with Jamie and I know the area better than you. There are a couple of places where they might have found shelter, but you're not going to find them. Plus someone should be hear if they come back the other way around," Jim explained, watching the battle in Castle's eyes.

"But," his son-in-law started to argue, even though he knew that Jim was right.

"It's the best option," Jim assured him.

"Okay, okay," Rick nodded, "I guess you're right."

"You might want to get the fire started," Jim suggested. "Temperatures are dropping quickly and the girls will be soaked and probably cold when they get here."

That Jim used the word when not if, reassured Castle immensely. He trusted Kate's father. No matter how badly the man had messed up in the past, he truly had proven himself worthy of Kate's and her family's trust ever since he had reentered their lives. Castle had a tremendous respect for how Jim had managed to turn his life around and be the best grandfather his girls could hope for. He never treated Alexis differently from her sisters, always referred to all of them as his grandkids with the same sense of pride and love shining in his eyes and Castle knew that all his daughters returned that love just in kind. He trusted Jim to find Kate and the girls and bring them back safely.

"I'll start the fire right away," Rick nodded, "be careful out there."

With a single nod Jim disappeared into the grey veil of falling rain and Castle watched him until he couldn't see him anymore before he walked back inside, closing the door behind him.

"Where's Mommy?", Jamie asked from the couch, clutching Simba to her chest, the same stuffed animal he had given her for her second birthday. The first birthday they had spent together.

"Grandpa is looking for Mommy and your sisters now . I'm sure he brings them back in no time," Castle said softly, sitting down next to the girl.

"But it's dangerous to be in the woods during a thunderstorm," Jamie replied, tears swimming in her eyes.

"I'm sure they all will be okay," Rick pulled her into his side, placing a kiss on the top of her head, before standing up, holding out his hand to her. "You wanna help me prepare something to eat for when they get back?"

"Okay," Jamie nodded reluctantly, but followed him into the kitchen where he let her cut up some mushrooms and potatoes for the soup, while he started the fire and took care of the other ingredients. His eyes kept staring out the kitchen window as the weather was getting worse and worse.

With the soup on the stove and Jamie tugged in on the couch with a cup of hot cocoa in her pj's, Rick tried very hard to concentrate on the story he was reading to his daughter, while he heard the wind whipping around the house. The old cabin groaning under the pressure, which didn't lift his spirits.

Jim had been gone for almost an hour now and Castle had no idea what to do if none of them returned within the next thirty minutes. He tried once more to call Kate but due to the weather he had no reception himself, so there would be no way for him to call for help. He kept throwing nervous glances toward the front door which didn't go unnoticed by Jamie, as she sat cuddled in his lap, only half listening to the story her dad was reading.

* * *

Kate pressed Ellie closer to her chest, trying as best as she could to shield the girl from the pouring rain, while Alexis trailed at her back, the redhead's fingers curled in one of her mother's belt loops.

"How much longer?", Alexis shouted from her back to be heard over the rain and Kate stopped, turning around to face her oldest.

"I'm not sure," she admitted, she could hardly see anything through the rain, the trees around them giving them basically not shelter at all, the rain too thick and heavy to be held back by the leaves and branches.

"Is this the right way?", Alexis asked, lifting vary eyes to meet Kate's and Kate shivered not only from the cold.

"I'm not sure Pumpkin, I'm not sure," she mumbled into the girl's wet hair as she pulled her close, feeling Ellie shiver between them.

"Mommy, cold," the young girl whined, trying to get even closer to her mother and Kate pulled the soaked lapels of her shirt a bit tighter around Ellie.

"I know Baby," Kate sighed. They needed to get out of the rain as soon as possible, before the thunderstorm would hit them full force. Kate estimated they had about another fifteen to twenty minutes before they would be right in the middle of it and she was scared. The woods were no place to be in this weather but she had no idea where to turn anymore. She wasn't sure if they were still on the path or even going into the right direction, but they couldn't stay here. They had to move on and so she pulled Alexis with her as they stumbled forward.

* * *

"I'm scared Daddy," Jamie whispered into his chest, curling closer to him as another flash of lightening illuminated the room.

"Hey," Castle rubbed a hand over her back. "You're safe here, okay."

"But Mommy, Lexi and Ellie are out there, and grandpa too," she sniffed, trying hard to keep the tears from falling.

"I'm sure grandpa will find them," he tried to reassure his little girl just as much as himself. The wind was getting worse and worse every minute and he could only hope that the rest of his family had found some kind of shelter. More than once he had thought of going out and looking for them himself, but he couldn't leave Jamie alone, Jim had been right about that and he couldn't take her out with him into the storm either.

"Did you hear that?", Jamie suddenly said, sitting up and pulling him out of his thoughts.

"It's probably just the wind," Castle replied, but Jamie shook her head and scrambled up to see out through the window.

"Dad look!", she exclaimed already rushing to the front door and throwing it open. "Mommy!", she shouted out into the rain and Rick was at her side in seconds to see for himself that Jim and the girls were already making their way up the stairs to the front porch.

"Thank God," he breathed out, wrapping Kate and Alexis in a bear hug. "We were so scared. Are you okay?"

He looked from one to the other until he saw them both nod, "Just cold," Kate muttered and he immediately released them to wrap the towels he brought down around them before taking Ellie from Jim's arms so he could grab a towel as well.

"Alexis?", he looked at the read-head, who gave him a weak smile.

"I'm good Dad, I promise," Alexis reassured him. "I'm just glad grandpa found us."

"Thank you Jim," Rick pulled his father-in-law into an awkward side-hug.

"No need to thank me, son," the older man replied with a warm smile and then added. "I'll go change," leaving the rest of them alone.

"You okay Ellie?", Rick then mumbled into his daughter's neck, cradling the girl to his chest, only receiving a heartbreaking sob in return. "We gonna get you dry and warm in no time," he mumbled and then looked over at Kate and Alexis.

"I put dry clothes out in your rooms and Jamie has brought every blanket down here to the living room, so you all can warm up," he explained before ushering everyone to their rooms, Jamie following her big sister to make sure she was really okay, glad she had her back in one, if dripping, piece.

xxxx

Fifteen minutes later they were all huddled in front of the fire, thick blankets covering all of them. Ellie cuddled up with her mother, Jamie and Alexis already distracted by a book while everyone enjoyed hot cocoa and potato soup.

"Rick, Babe," Kate stopped her husband's constant skittering to make sure everyone was fine, "please just sit down already. We are all good."

"Are you sure?", he asked again nevertheless, standing in front of his family unsure if he really could afford to sit down with them and finally relax.

"I'm sure," his wife nodded, "we are all fine. Now come here."

"Okay," he sighed, sinking down next to her, careful not to wake Ellie who was fast asleep in her mother's embrace.

"Happy 4th of July," she whispered into his ear, when he was comfortable making him huff out a laugh, this was certainly not how he had pictured their 4th of July weekend to go.

"Happy 4th of July," he replied nevertheless with a smile, before pressing a tender kiss against her lips.


	8. 8 A Life to Remember

xxxx

The storm had calmed down during the night and they all had found their ways into bed eventually, even the girls had gone to sleep without much trouble, everyone being tired after the day they had. Kate and Rick had snuggled up to each other once the house was quiet, but now, waking to the early morning sun Castle found his wife's side of the bed empty and cold.

Blinking his eyes against the intruding light he pushed himself up on his elbows, scanning the room to find his wife standing in front of the window, one of their throw blankets wrapped around her.

"You're up early," he yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and watching his wife keep staring out onto the lake. "You okay?"

She simply shrugged and Castle rolled out of bed with a grunt, staying on the living room floor for half of the night had obviously not been the best idea for his aging body. He hissed when his naked feet hit the cold floor, the temperatures much cooler after the storm hadpassed and stepping up behind Kate, he wrapped his arms around her asking, "What's wrong?"

"He sneaked out," she muttered, but Castle had no idea whom she was referring to until he followed her line of sight to spot Jim Beckett out on the dock, talking on the phone.

"He probably didn't want to wake the girls, or the signal is better out there," he tried to reason with her, but knew she already had her mind set on what they had been talking about only two days ago, about the possibility that her father had met someone.

"No," she shook her head, "he's hiding something. I can feel it."

"Then go and talk to him," Castle suggested, feeling her tense in his embrace once the words left his mouth.

"I don't know if I want to hear the truth, if I'm ready for it," she admitted quietly and Castle sighed, pressing a kiss against the top of her head. "I'm not sure how to react if he …," she paused, "I don't want things to be difficult between us, but I'm not sure I can prevent it. It's been so great for the last couple of years. I don't want to lose that," she tried to explain.

"Okay," Castle nodded and pulled her with him, "go back to bed then. It's still early and there's nothing you can do about it right now anyway."

"What about you?", she asked as she let him tuck her back under the covers with another kiss. "You're not gonna stay?"

"I'll get breakfast started," he smiled at her, hoping he was convincing and then left her alone, hoping she would be able to get some more rest.

* * *

Castle waited until Jim had ended his call, staying out of earshot before he approached him, hoping not to startle Kate's father, but he obviously hadn't been as stealth in his approach as he had hoped, because before Jim even turned around he already greeted his son-in-law.

"Morning Rick," he smiled. "You're up early."

"Yeah," Castle chuckled, "I sure am. Could say the same about you though."

"I'm an early riser, you know that and I think that's not why you're here. Something on your mind, son?", Jim questioned, eyeing Rick carefully.

"No -, well yes, sort of," he admitted, coming to stand next to the older man, both of them facing the lake. "It's about Kate."

Jim was immediately alarmed, "Is she okay? What's wrong?"

"There's something on her mind that's been troubling her for a while now," Rick started carefully, gauging Jim's reaction.

"And I'm the reason?", her father frowned.

"Yes," Castle nodded slowly. He wasn't quite sure how to approach the subject but in the end decided to just spit it out, knowing Jim appreciated a direct approach. "She thinks you're seeing someone and she doesn't know how she feels about it."

"Oh," was all Jim said before he was silent for a long time.

"So it's true?", Castle finally asked when he couldn't stand the silence any longer.

"Yes and no," Jim replied quietly, keeping his gaze steady out on the water. "I met someone, but I'm not seeing her, not in that way."

"I'm not sure I understand," Rick frowned, knowing Jim always chose his words wisely.

"Her name is Judith, I met her after an AA meeting a couple of months ago. She was in the same building attending a grief counseling group. Her husband has passed away earlier in the year, cancer. We started talking, been out for coffee a couple of times. We talk on the phone a lot, she's become a good friend. But neither her nor I are in a place where we are ready to start something new even if we wanted to. Her loss is still too fresh and I -," he paused, "I have never properly dealt with mine, so we are just two friends helping each other and that's all we will be. At least for now."

"I see, " Castle nodded, before asking, "Why haven't you told Kate about her."

"I didn't want Katie to worry," Jim said, shaking his head. "Look how that turned out."

"Look Jim, I'm not trying to tell you what to do here, but -," Jim cut him off, his hand coming to rest on Castle's shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

"No, no. I know. I'll talk to her. Right after breakfast, I'll explain everything. It was never my intention to hurt her," Jim said. "I just thought it would be the best to wait until I tell her."

"I know," Castle replied, "and I'm sure she'll understand once she knows why."

"Thanks for telling me Rick," Jim smiled, "and for looking out for her. I can never tell you how much that means to me. That she found such a good man."

Castle blushed, "I think I'm the lucky one here."

"Why don't we say, you are both lucky to have each other, mmh?", Jim patted Rick on the back, "Come on, lets get breakfast started for our girls and then I can talk to Katie."

* * *

When Kate and Jim returned from their walk after breakfast, Rick was relieved to see a big smile on his wife's face. Obviously the talk between father and daughter had gone well and Kate had her arm linked with her father's as they made their way up to the house laughing about something that Castle couldn't catch over the distance.

"I'll grab my tools," Jim informed them as they stepped up to Rick on the front porch, "I promised Jamie we would have a look at the tree house before we need to leave."

Kate kissed her father's cheek, watching him disappear into the house before turning to her husband with a big grin on her face.

"You okay?", Castle asked nevertheless, always needing to make sure.

"I'm good," she nodded with a smile. "We had a really good talk."

"And how do you feel about the whole situation? About Judith?"

"I actually asked Dad to bring her over for dinner some time," she replied, pride shining in her eyes. "She sounds nice and she seems to be good for him. I think that's all that matters anyway."

"Okay," Rick grinned. "That's great."

"You know it's funny," she frowned, "once he told me that they're just friends, the thought of them becoming more one day wasn't as weird anymore. He deserves to be happy and if Judith makes him happy in whatever way that might be, then that's a good thing and I'm okay with it."

He pressed a kiss against her lips, before pulling her into a tight embrace, her arms slipping around his waist to pull him closer, inhaling his scent and pressing her nose into the crook of his neck.

"Thanks for talking to him," she mumbled into his neck after a moment, pressing her lips against his warm skin.

"I have no idea what you mean," her husband replied innocently.

"You know exactly what I mean," she laughed. " Love you."

"Love you, too."

"So, what have you guys been up to?", Kate asked when she finally pulled away, blinking up at him.

"Not much," Castle shrugged. "I've been doing some packing, brought some stuff to the car and the girls are playing inside. The grass is still pretty wet after the rain."

"I see, any plans for later?", she questioned as she followed him into the house.

"Jim and Jamie want to work on the tree house as you heard and I thought we could just lay low, Alexis and Ellie are still a bit under the weather because of yesterday," he suggested. "And then a late lunch before we head home."

"Sounds good," Kate nodded in agreement, before starting for the stairs. "I'll get the rest of our stuff packed so we don't have to worry about it later."

Castle held her back, "Let me do that, you go and spent some time with the girls. You have to go back to the precinct tomorrow I'm sure they'll enjoy some _mommy-time_."

"Alright," she smiled and with a quick peck to his cheek left him to do the packing to join the girls in the living room.

They spent a nice quiet last day out at the cabin and after some sandwiches and leftovers for lunch Jim was the first to leave, wanting to visit an old friend on his way. The rest of the family stayed behind, the girls running after their grandpa's car, waving their hands until he couldn't be seen any longer and their parents called them back to the house.

An hour later they had cleaned and locked up the cabin, their belongings and the kids already in the car as Kate and Rick took one last look to make sure everything was in order until their next visit.

"Until we meet again," Rick mumbled quietly at Kate's side and she squeezed his hand.

"Come on, Babe," she finally pulled him away. "Let's go home."

* * *

_**AN: We'll dive into season two next, which will hold a little bit more action for our little family here and the potential of some more conflict. **_

_**I seriously wish I could update more often, give this story more time, but it's simply not possible at the moment. I hope you still enjoy it.**_

"Kids in bed?", Kate asked as Rick made his way back into their bedroom.

"All out," he chuckled. "Even Alexis. Must be all of that fresh air out at the lake."

"Must be," Kate yawned as if to prove his point.

"Tired?", he asked, plopping down next to her and Kate placed the book she was reading on her night stand.

"A bit," she shrugged. "But it was worth it. We had a good time, didn't we?"

"Absolutely," Rick agreed, slipping under the covers and rolling over to her, his head coming to rest in Kate's lap while she was still sitting up against the head board, her fingers starting to run through his hair. "How tired are you exactly?"

Kate chuckled, "Not too tired, if that's what you mean."

"When do you have to be at the precinct?", he asked while his fingers moved under her shirt and upwards.

"Around nine, unless there's a body. Why, you wanna come?"

He shook his head, "No, I have some writing to do. Gina's been asking about the last chapters, they want the book to come out in September."

"I see," Kate sighed as his fingers reached the underside of her breast. "How's Nikki coming along."

"I'll tell you later," Castle muttered, before his lips where on hers.


	9. 9 A Life to Remember

_**October 2009**_

Castle leant against the kitchen counter, a hot, steaming cup of coffee in front of him, studying the newspaper as someone, very persistently, rang his door bell. He glanced at his watch, frowned at the early hour and made his way over to the door, surprised to find his agent on the other side.

"Is your wife home?", Paula asked without a missing a beat.

"No," Castle shook his head.

"Good," his agent smiled, obviously satisfied with this information, before she pushed past him into the living room, "You're not going to believe this."

Castle shut the door behind her with a groan, muttering, "Good morning to you, too," before he followed her into the kitchen, "Believe what?"

"I can't tell you," Paula huffed as if it was obvious and him asking the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"Are you having a breakdown?", Castle asked worriedly, watching his agent pace in front of him.

"Okay it's not official yet, but _you,_ my dear are at the top of their list and I can't give you anymore details than this," she told him, obviously excited, but he was still none the wiser as to why.

"Do you want some coffee? I'd love to sit down and _not_ discuss this any further," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, okay," Paula raised her hands, "I will tell you this. It's a major re-launch of a major franchise. A three book deal and they want you."

"I'm not interested," Castle replied without a beat, reaching for the coffee pot.

"What if I tell you the character in question is a certain British agent?"

"You mean -?", Paula stopped him, raising one of her perfectly manicured fingers.

"Don't say it. You'll jinx it."

"I -," he paused for a moment but then shook his head, "Still, not interested."

"Richard Castle, are you out of your mind? This is the chance of a lifetime. They're not gonna ask you again," Paula spluttered, her head turning a dark shade of red, complementing her nail polish.

"I know," Castle replied calmly and unimpressed by her outburst, "but I'm trying to launch my own character next week. I don't have time for anything else."

"You mean _Nikki Heat _is more important to you than a chance that could make you immortal?"

"_Nikki Heat _will always be more important to me," he replied, reaching for his ringing phone which he had left on the kitchen counter. "Excuse me."

He disappeared into his office only to return seconds later with a grin on his face, while still talking on the phone, "Yeah, I know where that is. Meet you there in a bit. Love you, too."

"I'm sorry Paula, but I gotta go. We have a case."

"You mean your wife has a case," she replied annoyed when he pushed her toward the door.

"Yes, my wife with whom I'm currently working together, as you know."

"I'm sure we can arrange for you to follow a secret service agent, maybe even MI6," Paula suggested, but Rick simply sighed.

"I'm still not interested."

"This discussion is not over," Paula called after him as he hurried toward the staircase, not wanting to wait for the elevator and even less interested in sharing it with his agent at the moment.

"Yeah, yeah," he waved her off. For him there was nothing left to discuss. He was only getting started with Nikki, he had no intentions to quit writing her anytime soon, possibly ever.

* * *

Castle weaved his way through the officers guarding the crime scene, exchanging nods in greeting before he dived under the crime scene tape to join his wife and her two partners who where currently standing over a manhole.

"What have I missed?", he asked, handing Kate her coffee and received disapproving looks from Ryan and Esposito in return. "What?"

"No coffee for us?", Espo snarled, jealously watching Kate sip her latte.

"Yeah Castle, you never bring us coffee," Ryan whined, sounding like a little girl and he promptly received an elbow to the rips from his partner in return.

"I bought you a brand new coffee machine for the precinct," Castle huffed. "Plus, she's my wife it's in my own best interest to keep her happy and satisfied."

He sent Kate a slightly inappropriate look causing the boys to make gagging sounds until Kate called them back to the task at hand.

"When you girls are done with your tea party, could we all concentrate on the case again? We have a murder to solve."

The boys sobered quickly and joined her and Perlmutter who in the meantime had gotten the body onto a gurney and into his van. He gave them the preliminary cause of death; Blunt forced trauma. Their victim had received a nasty blow to the back of the head, apparently before she had been shoved into the manhole. Perlmutter estimated the time of death to be two days ago before he left them with the promise to be in touch as soon as he had something new for them.

"I really prefer Lanie," Castle muttered as Perlmutter drove off and they made their way to Beckett's car. She had told the boys to stay behind to ask around the neighborhood and to canvass the area in hope of finding the victim's purse.

"Just because Perlmutter doesn't like you," Kate smirked.

"He doesn't like me?", Castle gasped in shock. "But why? What's not to like?"

"Don't ask me," she shrugged, "I'm biased."

* * *

It wasn't too long before they found themselves at morgue but Perlmutter informed them that he hadn't been able to identify their victim. The fingerprints had come back negative and missing persons didn't have anyone matching her description either.

"Two days and no one steps forward to say she was missing?", Castle looked at Kate who was thinking the same.

"Which means she probably lived alone and she didn't have a job she needed to be at," Kate voiced her husband's thoughts.

"I can tell you this much; she's an immigrant, probably from Eastern-Europe," Perlmutter said and then explained her dental work that led him to his conclusion. The only other thing of interest was a candy wrapper he had found in the victim's pocket.

"It's got some kind of writing on it," Perlmutter pointed out and Kate handed the wrapper to Castle.

"The lettering has diacritical marks on it. They're accent marks used to represent sounds that are alien to Latin. I'm gonna go with Slavic-Cyrillic. No, Czech," he smiled handing the wrapper back to Kate.

"And you know this how?", Perlmutter asked, looking skeptical.

"I almost ordered a Russian bride once," Castle grinned.

Kate groaned, "I'm sure Perlmutter is not interested in that particular story."

"I'm certainly not," Perlmutter shuddered, turning back to his work and leaving the detective and her husband to it. The faster that writer left his morgue the better.

"What?", Castle spluttered, feeling totally misunderstood. "It was just for research."

"Come on Castle," Kate shoved her husband toward the exit, "Let's run this wrapper down, there can't be too many shops in the area that sell this stuff."

"Yeah okay," he nodded before calling back out to Perlmutter. "Hey Perlmutter, we're having a launch party Monday night, you want to come?"

"Please," the M.E. sighed, dismissing Castle's request.

"I'll put you down as a maybe," Castle muttered to himself and then hurried after his wife.

* * *

Kate watched her husband show off his Matryoshka dolls to Karpowski, a smile playing around her lips as she saw the boyish excitement on his face. He had insisted on buying something in every shop they had visited without finding the wrapper though and now she had a bag full of Eastern European candy and knick-knack in her car, plus an extra set of those slightly creepy dolls on her desk.

"Yo, found your candy," Ryan called out as he and Ryan stepped out of the elevator, pulling her from her out of her thoughts.

"You found it? Get out of town," Castle whined, grabbing for the bag of lollypops Ryan held out to him.

"At a little grocery on 47th and 9th," Espo said, grinning from ear to ear.

"I told you we should have checked the West End," Castle looked at Beckett accusingly, and she rolled her eyes. There was a reason they had split up in search for the wrapper.

"Owner recognized our vic's picture, said she'd come by a couple of times a week to stock up on stuff from back home," Ryan shared what they had learned.

"Mmm, kinda tastes like soap. I like it," Castle informed them unnecessarily as he shoved one of the lollypops into his mouth but was ignored by the rest of the team.

"Did he give you a name?", Beckett asked.

Espo shook his head, "No, but he did point us to where she might live. Apparently there's an SRO not far from where we found the body, caters to Czech illegals."

"Well, then let's pay it a visit," Beckett said, leading her team out of the bullpen.

* * *

Once at the apartment they finally learned a name if not much else from the landlord who seemed genuinely sorry for Eliska Sokol's death. The apartment didn't hold much of interest either other than a picture of a boy and a blond woman whose face had been scratched out.

Ryan and Espo stayed behind to knock on doors, hoping that one of the neighbors would be able to give them some more information about their victim.

Castle said his goodbyes as they left the slightly shady apartment building to go and pick up Ellie from daycare, while Beckett headed back to the precinct to see what she could find on their victim now that they had a name. Beckett feared it wouldn't be much though. Eliska Sokol was an illegal immigrant and Kate doubted their was anything about her in the system.

"Give the girls a kiss from me, okay?", Kate said as she waited with Castle for a cab to stop.

"Will do," he smiled. "What about dinner?"

"I think I should make it, unless something big comes up."

"Okay," he nodded. "Give me a call otherwise?"

"Will do," she said and then leant up to give him a quick kiss. "See you later, Babe."

* * *

"Hey you two," Caste greeted his daughters when they came rushing through the door later that afternoon, "How was school?"

"Good," came the twin reply as they shed their coats and shoes and made their way over to where Castle was sitting on the floor with Ellie.

"Want a lollipop?", he asked reaching for the small bag on the coffee table, holding it out to them and Alexis and Jamie where both reaching for it until Castle said, "Tastes like soap."

Alexis recoiled, mumbling, "I'll pass," and plopping down next to her baby sister, while Jamie eagerly unwrapped hers, excitement written all over her face as she gasped, "Cool."

"Oh Dad, Taylor asked if she could come to your book launch party with me. Would that be okay?", Alexis asked, giving him a hopeful look.

"Oh, so, Taylor likes my stuff, huh?", Castle puffed his chest, a satisfied grin on his face, but his daughter shook her head.

"Not that I know of."

Castle look confused, "Then … ."

"Oh, you are so dense," Martha told him from where she was sitting at the kitchen counter. "She wants to get dressed up, go to a party, meet boys. She doesn't care about your little book."

"Thanks, Dad," Alexis exclaimed, not really expecting an answer. She grabbed her baby sister to spin her around. "We're gonna have so much fun, don't we Ellie?"

The little girl squealed happily, urging her sister to spin her around faster until the two of them crashed down onto the couch, lgiggling, while Castle was still grumbling to himself.

"Don't worry Dad. I'm sure I'll like your books, once I'm allowed to read them that is," Jamie patted him on the back, before joining her grandmother in the kitchen. Castle followed, shooting his mother a disapproving look.

"You really are something, you know. You always think everything is about you," his mother scolded, handing him a stack of papers, "Here."

"Not true," he muttered. "What are these?"

"Oh, they're flyers for my play. I thought you could hand them out when you're signing books at the party tomorrow," his mother smiled sweetly.

"Ah, gee, I was thinking, actually, that I might keep the evening about me," he rolled his eyes.

"Oh talking about _you._ Paula called – repeatedly - while you were out with Katherine," Martha said, but Castle only nodded. He had no intentions of calling his agent back. He knew what she wanted and he had made his point very clear this morning. And if that hadn't been the case, maybe his silence would drive the point home.

"Something wrong?", Martha asked, sensing her son's slight discomfort at the mention of his agent.

"No, nothing's wrong," he shook his head, offering his mother a tense smile as he pushed off the kitchen counter. "I'm gonna get dinner started."

"Are you eating with us, Grams?", Jamie lifted hopeful eyes up to her grandmother.

"Do you _want_ me to have dinner with you?", she replied teasingly, already knowing the answer and sure enough all three of her granddaughters nodded eagerly.

"Well," Martha sighed dramatically, "how can I say no to those cute little faces. Oh Richard, darling? Will Katherine be joining us?"

"She said if nothing new came up with the case she'd should make it."

"Wonderful," Martha smiled. "How about I entertain Ellie for a while then so you can prepare dinner in peace."

"That would be great, Mother," Castle agreed then turned his attention to Jamie and Alexis, "You guys have homework?"

"Yeah," Jamie groaned. Alexis simply nodded.

"Okay then how about you get that done before your mom gets home and then we can all watch a movie after dinner."

Jamie's mood immediately improved and she hurried up the stairs with her bag, Alexis following her and Rick and his mother could only shake their heads in amusement at the girls' sudden enthusiasm about doing their homework.

"I'm sure they'll finish in record time," Martha chuckled, before picking Ellie up from the floor. "Come on, Little Bumble Bee. Lets see what we can find in your room to play with."

* * *

An hour later Kate came through the front door, finding Castle alone in the kitchen the rest of the living room surprisingly empty and quiet, "Sorry, I know I'm running late, but traffic was just horrible," she sighed as she stepped out of her heels and hung up her coat.

"Don't worry," Rick reassured her, "you're just in time. The girls are still doing homework anyway."

"Good," Kate answered relieved, meeting him in the kitchen to place a kiss against his cheek. "What are we having."

"Chicken curry," her husband replied. "Any new leads on the case?"

She shook her head, "No. There was nothing about her in the system, but that was to be expected."

"I'm sorry," Castle pulled her close, pressing his lips against her head. He knew it was frustrating for her when they had nothing to go on, no lead in sight.

"Not your fault, Babe," she leant into his body, "and now feed me. I'm starving."

"As you wish," he bowed his head and then hollered up the stairs for his mother and daughters to come down for dinner.

* * *

"I've been thinking," Castle said as he climbed into bed next to her.

"About _Finding Nemo_?", Kate frowned. "Because if I have to see this movie one more time …," she rolled her eyes.

"No," he laughed, "but come on, _Finding Nemo _is great. But _no_, I mean about the case."

Kate turned toward him, pulling his pillow over to prob her head up on it, "I'm all ears."

"The picture, of the boy and the woman, it was taken at a playground right?"

"Yes," she nods. "What are you thinking?"

"I think Parks and Recreation should be able to tell us which playground it is," he explained, his eyes sparkling as Kate set up, immediately following his train of thought.

"You're right. Playgrounds are pretty unique if you look at the details," she agreed.

"And once we know which playground it is, we can go there with the photograph. Maybe someone there has seen Eliska," he finished.

She nodded, beaming up at him, "That's a great idea, Babe."

"Yeah?", he asked, proud that he had been the one to come up with it.

"Yeah, we'll do that first thing in the morning," she told him, pulling him with her to lay down, releasing his pillow.

"Will you tell Espo and Ryan that it was my idea?", he asked, pulling her into his side and arranging the covers around them, before turning off the lights.

He could basically feel the roll of her eyes but her hand came up, smoothing over his chest and he could feel her nod in his arms, "I will, _if _it gets us somewhere. Deal?"

"Deal."

xxx


	10. 10 A Life to Remember

They had been up on their feet all day, following Castle's idea of locating the playground where the photograph had been taken and then tracing Eliska Sokol's steps back to her work place, an upscale apartment building where she had worked in client services. Speaking to the manager they learned, that their victim had been fired after an incident with one of the tenants. The Talbot's had complained that Eliska had been overly attentive toward their son Zane, but after talking to the family, Castle and Beckett believed that they had in fact not wanted Eliska to get fired.

They met up with the boys afterwards who had questioned the staff and in doing so had come up with a new lead. Teodor Hajek, the victim's ex-husband had a history of domestic disturbance, which was reason enough to bring the man in for questioning. But after hearing the sad story about the couple's son, who had passed away three years ago and Hajek's alibi checking out, they were back to square one.

Another trip to Eliska Sokol's apartment building turned out to be a success though. A neighbor had seen their victim argue with a man in the hallway, the description matching no one other than Dr. Talbot, who later confessed that he had had an affair with Sokol. He had tried to break it off, but according to him Sokol hadn't let go. He had an alibi though and so Kate and the boys made their way back to the precinct, while Castle headed home to the girls.

The last development of the day came from Karposwki who had been on the phone with the 74th in Brooklyn. A uniform remembered their victim's name from a complaint that was filed against Sokol. He would have pulled the file by tomorrow and get back to them.

Kate called it a day after that, sending the boys home as well so they could all get ready for Castle's big night.

* * *

"Are you ready?", Castle asked as their town car slowly pulled up to the red carpet and the flashing lights of the photographers. The car service had picked them up twenty minutes ago. Martha, Alexis and her friend following in a second car.

Kate leant into him, an amused smile playing around her lips, "It's not like this is my first book party."

"No, but it's the first one where main character of the book is based on you. The press might go a bit crazy," he winced.

"I'm sure I'll be alright," she squeezed his hand in reassurance. It was true, events like this were not her favorite, but she loved her husband and was proud of his achievements and if it meant she had to deal with the press for a night she would gladly do it.

"Okay, here we go," he grinned at her, before climbing out of the car first, holding his hand out for her to grab as she followed.

The minute they both stood on the red carpet the flashlight thunderstorm started in earnest, their names being shouted to get them to turn and pose. Castle smiled politely, nodding left and right, but still keeping a steady pace to guide Kate inside, not wanting to submit his wife to the craziness longer than necessary.

"Worst is over," he whispered into her ear when they finally stepped inside and she smiled back at him.

"I'll leave you to it for a while, okay? Let you mingle with the crowd. I'll go and talk to Montgomery and the boys in the meantime."

He nodded, "See you later. Love you."

She winked at him, placing a kiss against his lips and shoved him toward the waiting press, "Get them tiger."

He laughed and walked over to Gina who had already assembled most of the press for a quick Q&amp;A. It was his less favorite part of the evening, but part of his job and so he put on his most charming smile and hoped it would be over soon. Gina waved at Kate over Rick's shoulder, signaling her that she would try to keep it short and Kate mouthed a silent thank you back at her, before turning for the bar where her colleagues were enjoying their first round of drinks.

She saw Alexis and Taylor giggling as they sat at one of the tables in the back, observing their surroundings as Martha was already approaching an elder gentleman. Her family was entertained for the moment and so she gladly accepted the glass of champagne the bar tender handed over to her as she joined the precinct gang.

"Are you having a good time?", she asked the boys and Ryan nodded eagerly.

"Castle's parties are the best," he grinned from ear to ear. "Open bar."

"You're easy to satisfy, Ryan," she smirked.

"Yeah," he smiled happily. "Wait what?"

"She got you, bro," Espo chuckled, slapping his partner on the back. "Yo Beckett. Did Lanie mention when she'd be here?"

"Why Espo, are you planning on finally making a move on her?", Kate raised her eyebrows in amusement.

"What? No," Espo shook his head, scrunching his face. "Why would I?"

"Because you have had a crush on her ever since Beckett introduced you guys to each other. And how long ago has that been? Eight years?", Ryan teased.

"And what about you and what's her name, Jenny?", Espo fired back. "How is that going?"

"It's going, which is more than you can say about yourself and Lanie," Ryan replied.

"Guys, it's enough," Kate interrupted their little show-off. "Don't make me sent you home."

Montgomery laughed, "I tell you Kate, they'd just come back in through the back door."

She shrugged, clinking her glass with her boss's, "I guess you're right."

Espo and Ryan shot disapproving looks their way, but kept their mouth shut otherwise, ordering another round of beer instead and ignoring Beckett and their captain for now.

"He's very proud of you," Montgomery said and Kate followed his line of sight, finding Castle beaming their way while he was talking to the press.

"I'm just as proud of him," Kate replied. "He's a great writer and a great man."

"You're a great team," Montgomery said wistfully. "Why were you so reluctant to let him work with you in the beginning? It seems it's working well for everyone."

"It wasn't reluctant because I thought he wouldn't be helpful," Kate looked back over to where her husband was trying to bring the questioning to an end. "I knew we would benefit from his ideas. He thinks outside the box, has a different approach than we do, but we're married and we have three kids. I was reluctant because I wasn't sure we would be able to handle all of it without anyone feeling neglected."

"And?", Montgomery asked.

"So far so good," Kate shrugged with a small smile, but her smile faded when she saw a certain someone approaching her.

"Kate," Paula's shrill voice reached her before the woman was even near her. "Can we talk?"

"Now?", Kate frowned looking at her boss, who simply shrugged and turned away to give the two women some privacy.

"What is it, Paula?", Kate asked annoyed.

Paula shook her head, "Not here." She pulled Kate with her through one of the service doors and Kate had to take a deep breath not to give Paula a piece of her mind for taking her from her husband's party.

"What is it Paula?", she hissed, once they stood in a dimly lit hallway.

"How can you let him do this?", Paula hissed back. "This is a chance he will get just once and he's willing to throw it away because of you and _Nikki_."

"What are you talking about?", Kate looked at her confused.

"What I'm talking about?", Paula spluttered. "He's got the official offer to write the next three James Bond novels and I can't even get him to speak to me, because he's out with you all day, playing cop. Do ever think of _his _career? What he's giving up because of you?"

Kate was about to tell Paula to mind her own business, when the service door swung open und Castle stepped through, "What's going on in here?", he demanded to know, looking from his wife to his agent and back.

"You got the official offer, that's what's going on," Paula growled, shooting another accusing look into Kate's direction.

"I told you I'm not interested," Rick hissed, sensing Kate's discomfort and feeling guilty. Had he known Paula would ambush his wife like this he would have told her about the offer sooner.

"Richard Castle, you -," he cut her off.

"No Paula. This discussion is over. I'm not available. Tell them I'm flattered but I'm not interested," he glared at her to drive his point home. "And now excuse us."

He shoved Paula toward the service door and waited until she had disappeared before he turned back to Kate, finding her glaring at him.

"Thanks for the warning," she hissed.

"Kate, look -," this time he was the one to be cut off.

"No Rick. When were you planing to tell me about this offer? Isn't this something I should know about?"

"Kate, it's not like that. Paula came by this morning, told me there was an unofficial offer, but I told her wasn't interested. We talked about this, I'm not done with Nikki and that hasn't changed. I haven't told you yet, because I wasn't even considering it and I told Paula so. I'm sorry she dragged you into this. She had no right to do that," he tried to explain.

"I still don't get why you didn't even mention it," Kate shook her head. "This is something big. We should have talked about it."

"I'm sorry, but we were so busy with the case and the party. I would have told you, Kate. I'm sorry I didn't mention it before. It just wasn't important to me," he sighed.

She took a deep breath, "And you're sure you don't want to do this? You love James Bond. Casino Royale made you want to be a writer. I don't want you to throw that chance away, just because you feel some kind of obligation toward Nikki or me. I wouldn't be disappointed if you wanted to do this, you know that right?"

"I know," Rick nodded, stepping closer to her, "but I really wanna keep writing Nikki Heat. I have so many ideas for her and Rook. And if it means I'll have to pass on James Bond, then that's the way it is."

"Okay, if you're sure," Kate sighed.

"I'm sure," he whispered, closing the remaining distance between them. "I'm sure, Kate."

She leant into him, placing a soft kiss against his lips. "Alright, let's get back to your party."

"_Our_ party," he corrected with a grin, before shoving her toward the door.

* * *

They had barely made it back into the main room when Martha came rushing their way, her face pale as she held out her phone to Rick and Kate, "It's the babysitter," she got out, worry lacing her words.

"Mother what's going on?", Rick asked.

"It's Ellie …," she started but didn't get any further as Rick snatched the phone out of her hand, immediately putting it on speaker. They could hear sirens in the background and Kate grasped her husband's arm, their eyes meeting as the both dreaded what they were about to hear.

"Audrey," Rick said, trying to stay as calm as possible. "What happened?"

"I'm so sorry Mr. Castle," the young girl sobbed into the phone. "I turned my back on her only for a minute, I swear. I was just getting something to drink for the girls and - ."

"Audrey, calm down and tell me what happened. What about Ellie?", Castle tried to get the girl's attention who was rambling and therefore not getting to the point. He needed her to focus. He needed to know what happened to their daughter.

"She fell off the table. Oh my God, there was so much blood. The ambulance just left. I'm so sorry," Audrey got out and Rick could hear his wife whimper at his side, already pushing them toward the exit.

"Which hospital are they taking her?", Castle asked, as he guided his wife out of the party, pressing the phone to his ear to be able to hear Audrey over the party noise, while they ignored the confused looks they received from various guests as they hurried toward the exit.

"Presbyterian," the babysitter got out on another sob, "We weren't allowed to go with her. I'm going to go back upstairs and wait with Jamie."

"Yes, that's good," Castle nodded. "My mother and Alexis will be there shortly. My wife and I will go straight to the hospital."

He didn't wait for confirmation, just hung up and turned to his mother while signaling one of the staff members to get their car.

"Mother, I need you to find Alexis and go back home to get Jamie. They're taking Ellie to Presbyterian. Kate and I will go there directly. I'll call you when we get there and we know what's going on."

"Of course, Richard, of course," Martha stammered, blinking against the moisture in her eyes. Her daughter-in-law looked as miserable as she had ever seen her and Martha reached out, snatching her hand to give it a quick squeeze in support, having no words to lessen the pain. With a final look she turned to find her oldest granddaughter, Montgomery and they boys already hurrying her way while shooting worried glances at their partner and her husband who stepped toward the arriving town car.

"Richard!", the shrill voice of his agent rang out through the foyer. "Where do you think you're going?"

Castle ignored her, instead helped his wife into the waiting town car, following her and leaving his fuming agent behind without an explanation. He gave the address to the driver, urging him to go as fast as possible before pulling Kate into his side who was desperately trying to keep it together.

"It's gonna be alright," he muttered into the crown of her head. "It's gonna be alright."

* * *

They rushed through the hospital doors, receiving odd looks from the staff and other visitors, looking out of place in their elegant evening attire, but Kate couldn't care less, all she wanted was her baby girl.

"Can I help you?", a tired looking nurse asked from behind the reception, lifting her eyes to look at them over her red rimmed reading glasses.

"Our daughter was brought here," Castle started.

"Eleanor Castle," Kate jumped in, her voice and her hands trembling when she went on. "She's only two."

Castle reached for her, pulling her into his side and the nurse demeanor softened.

"Oh the little girl," she nodded as she typed something into her computer. "She's still in Trauma 2. I'm afraid you can't go in there right now, but I'll let the doctors know that your here and see that someone gets to you as soon as possible. Why don't you wait over there for now." The woman smiled gently as she pointed to a small waiting area where currently only one older man was sitting.

"Is there nothing you can tell us?", Castle asked again.

"I'm sorry," the nurse shook her head, "she just came in."

"Okay, thank you," Rick sighed, guiding Kate to the waiting area. The older man looked up when they entered, giving them both a nod which only Castle returned, while Kate sacked down on one of the chairs.

"I'm gonna call Mother and your dad," Rick mumbled into her ear. "Will you be okay for a moment?"

"Yes," she nodded, squeezing his hand. "But make it quick."

"I will," he promised before stepping outside.

Kate shivered, her dress not offering much warmth in the slightly chilly waiting area and the older man sitting opposite from her gave her a soft smile.

"I don't know why they think they have to keep it freezing in here," he said softly. "I complained about it before, but they keep telling me there's nothing they can do."

"Are you here often?", Kate asked, glad for the small distraction while Rick was outside on the phone.

"Yeah," the older man sighed. "My wife, she has lung cancer and a weak heart."

"I'm sorry," Kate said gently.

He smiled and nodded, "Why are you here?"

Kate swallowed, tears clouding her eyes, "Our daughter. She fell. We're not sure what happened. She was with the babysitter."

"Oh I'm so sorry dear," he moved to sit at her side, grabbing her hand between his, a gesture that would have usually made Kate uncomfortable, but right now was exactly what she needed. "I'm sure your little girl will be alright. What's her name?"

"Ellie," Kate got out.

"I'm sure Ellie will be okay," he said again, giving her hand another squeeze, just as Castle returned to the room.

"Hey," her husband greeted her. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," she chocked out, then looked at her companion with questioning eyes.

"Thomas," the older man helped her out, "I'm Thomas."

"Thomas kept me company," she finished, giving Castle a weak smile.

"Thank you, Thomas," Rick forced a smile for the sake of the other man and his kindness when he himself obviously wasn't here for pleasant reasons either.

"I'm Rick and this is my wife Kate," he introduced them, sitting down back at Kate's side, while Thomas moved back to his previously occupied chair, giving them some privacy.

"You're dad is on his way to the loft," Castle filled her in. "Apparently some of your colleagues from the 15th are there to talk to Audrey."

"That's standard procedure," Kate nodded.

"Once they're done at the loft, your dad will bring mother and the girls over."

"You think that is a good idea?", Kate frowned.

"No, but I don't think we can stop them," Castle shrugged, "and I think Jamie needs us. Mother said she's shocked."

"Oh God, Castle" Kate sighed, "She has seen everything."

"Hey," he tried to reassure her as much as himself. "I'm sure once she can snuggle up with you, it's all gonna be alright."

He pulled her closer, feeling her shiver and quickly shrugged out of his suit jacket. "Here," he whispered as he wrapped her up in it, accepting her grateful smile.

* * *

"Mr. and Mrs. Castle?", a young doctor poked his head around the door of the waiting room.

"That's us," Kate immediately replied as they both stood and followed the man out into the corridor.

"I'm Dr. Mellow," the physician introduced himself with a soft smile.

"How is our daughter?", Rick asked, clasping his wife's hand in his.

"I'm afraid it looks pretty serious," the doctor replied solemnly.

"God, Rick," Kate turned toward her husband, her eyes filled with fear.

"Your daughter took a nasty fall. She has a laceration on the back of her head, but that's not our main concern right now. We fear the fall has caused a cerebral edema, a swelling that puts pressure on your daughter's brain."

"Where is she now?", Castle asked, desperately trying to keep it together and not to panic.

"She's currently being prepared for an MRI, after that we should be able to tell you what exactly we are dealing with," Dr. Mellow explained.

"Is she awake?", Kate asked. "When can we see her?"

"No, we'll keep her sedated for now. After we get the test results from the MRI we will re-evaluate her medication," he told them. "You can see her as soon as we have settled her into a room, but you can follow me right now and wait upstairs."

They both nodded, following the doctor to the elevators and Castle glanced down at his wife, giving her a weak smile as they stepped inside.

Kate leant up, pressing a kiss against his cheek, "We can do this," she mumbled into his ear, where her head was resting against his shoulder. "We can do this together."

* * *

**_AN: I'm not a doctor ... just saying. I've already started on the next chapter, so I hopefully I won't make you wait too long._**


	11. 11 A Life to Remember

They sat at their baby girl's bedside, Kate clasping one of her cold, little hands in hers, while she held onto her husband's with the other. They hadn't spoken a word since Dr. Mellow had left them fifteen minutes ago with the offer to call him or one of the nurses if they needed anything.

The MRI results had come back and confirmed the doctor's suspicion. Ellie's fall from the table had caused a swelling that was currently putting pressure on the girl's brain, which was the reason why their daughter was still unconscious. The doctors had decided to keep her in an artificial coma, at least until the morning when another MRI would be taken to see if the swelling had decreased. Dr. Mellow had told them they would discuss further steps in the morning but had warned that if Ellie's condition hadn't changed, chances were high that she needed to have surgery.

Kate and Rick had taken it all in, but were too drained to discuss the matter at the moment and had decided that for now they just wanted to be with their little girl. The beeping of the machines around Ellie the only sound in the room, beside Kate's quiet sniffling.

Castle felt helpless, unsure how to comfort his wife and not able to do anything for his daughter right now but to be near her. A knock on the door made him turn around to see his mother enter the room.

"How is she?", Martha asked, her face yellowish in the florescent hospital light.

Castle raised his wife's hand, pressing his lips against her knuckles before getting up and joining his mother at the door.

"It's pretty serious," he offered. "Where are the others?"

"Outside," Martha explained. "I thought it was best if we didn't all barge in at the same time."

"Okay," he nodded, then looked at Kate, "I'll come outside and explain everything. Kate can I leave you two for a moment?"

Kate nodded, offering him a weak smile before she turned her attention back to Ellie, while Castle guided his mother out into the hallway where Jim was waiting with Jamie and Alexis.

"How is she Dad?", Alexis asked, her voice shaking as she flung herself into his arms.

"Hey Pumpkin," he hugged her back. "Ignoring her question for now since he didn't know how to be honest and not scare her any further.

"Jamie," he looked over Alexis at the girl who stood behind her grandfather, looking miserable and scared?

Sensing that something was wrong, he pressed a kiss to the top of Alexis' head before releasing her and stepping up to the younger girl, "What's wrong Jamie?", he asked.

The second he crouched down in front of her the girl started to sob, hiding further behind her grandfather and avoiding her father's questioning eyes.

"What … ?", Castle asked confused, looking at Jim and then his mother.

"Richard," his Martha placed her hand on her son's shoulder, motioning him to stand up, "there's something you need to know about what happened."

* * *

"I don't wanna go in," Jamie sobbed, clinging to her father. "She's gonna hate me."

"Jamie," Castle hoisted her up higher on his hip, she was getting a bit too heavy to be carried around. "No one hates you."

"It's all my fault," she sobbed again, hiding into Rick's neck.

"Come on, Baby Bird," he tried to coo her gently. "Let's go talk to Mommy, okay? I promise she's not gonna hate you. We both love you, no matter what."

He didn't wait for her to answer, just nodded at the rest of his family and pushed open the door to Ellie's room where Kate was still holding their youngest's hand.

"No Daddy," Jamie muttered and tried to squirm out of his arms, her miserable whine immediately catching Kate's attention.

"What's wrong?", she asked, looking worriedly at her husband who tried not to drop a squirming Jamie.

"Jamie has something to tell you," he said softly, watching his wife tense at his seriousness.

"What is it?", Kate asked gently, sensing that whatever her daughter had to say wasn't easy for the girl. "Jamie?"

"She's gonna hate me," Jamie told her father again, refusing to look at her mother. At those words Kate stood up, shooting Castle a shocked look. She let go of Ellie's hand and stepped closer to her husband, placing her hand against the girl's back.

"Jamie," she prodded gently and it hurt when Jamie just buried deeper into her father's arms, but she went on. "Jamie, I love you. Nothing's gonna change that. Whatever it is, you can tell me."

"It's my fault," the girl finally cried out, tears streaming down her face. "It's my fault Ellie fell of the table."

"What..?", Kate looked at her husband who nodded.

"She helped Ellie to get onto the table when Audrey wasn't looking," Castle explained, pressing a kiss to Jamie's forehead. "Ellie lost her balance and fell."

"I know you told me not to let her get up there," Jamie whispered, for the first time since they entered peeking at her mother.

Kate sighed. It was true. Just a week ago she had caught Jamie and Ellie fooling around the dinner table and she had very strictly told them not to climb it. But they were kids and these things were bound to happen. That it had ended this badly was nothing anyone of them could have predicted.

"Oh Baby Bird," Kate mumbled, holding out her arms to her daughter, who immediately jumped into her mother's embrace, crying into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry Mommy," Jamie whispered. "I didn't mean for Ellie to get hurt."

"I know," Kate reassured her. "I know you didn't want her to get hurt."

"Is she gonna die?", Jamie asked, staring at her sleeping sister and Kate's heart broke.

"No," she shook her head. "She's going to be fine. She just needs to rest, so the doctors make sure she stays asleep for now." In reality Kate didn't know if Ellie was going to be okay, but right now she couldn't bring herself to tell Jamie that.

Kate hugged Jamie close once more, before setting her down and guiding her to her sister's bedside.

Castle, who had reclaimed Kate's seat at the bedside, lifted Jamie up to sit in his lap, "Here take Ellie's hand," he advised softly. "I'm sure she knows you're here."

Jamie did as she was told, cradling her sister's hand between her own and whispered, "I'm sorry, Ellie. Please wake up."

Castle felt a warm hand on his shoulder, looking up to see his wife smiling down at him with tears in her eyes.

* * *

Half an hour later Kate found herself alone with Ellie. The rest of her family had gone home for the night and Castle had went along to get some clothes for them to change into, promising he would be back soon. The day's events weight heavy on Kate, watching over her daughter who was usually such a lively little thing. She was so quiet and pale, looking more fragile by the minute and Kate wished her husband hadn't left, fearing she would drown in her sorrow without him by her side.

The door opened, but Kate didn't look up, assuming it was one of the nurses coming in to check on Ellie. She was surprised when a warm hand landed on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"How are you holding up, Katie?"

"Dad?", Kate turned around to find her father standing behind her, his worried eyes moving between his daughter and granddaughter.

"I'm scared," Kate admitted on a sob and Jim pulled the second chair to her side, his right arm sneaking around her shoulders as Kate immediately leant into him, allowing herself to let the tears fall freely for the first time that day.

"It's okay," her father tried to soothe her, pressing his lips to her forehead.. "She's gonna be okay. She's strong and tough. She's gonna make it."

"What if she doesn't?", Kate whimpered. "What if she's not going to be okay, Dad?"

"Hey Katie," he forced her to look at him. "You can't think like this, you hear me. It's only going to drive you crazy. You have to believe that everything will be okay in the end, because Ellie needs you to be strong for her."

"What if I can't do that? Be strong."

"Oh Katie-Bug," he smiled at her, love and pride shining in his eyes. "Of course you can. You're one of the strongest people I've ever known. You weren't the one to lose your way, remember? You and Rick, you're gonna get through this and I'm always here for you if you need me."

"Thank you, Dad," she managed a small, grateful smile on her lips , snuggling back into his side, content to let him hold her up for a while.

* * *

Jim had left after Castle's return and when Kate had changed into more comfortable clothes, Rick convinced her to try to get some sleep on the extra bed in the room.

He kept his watch at Ellie's side for the time being, even though Kate had tried to convince him to lay down as well, at least for a little while.

"How is Jamie?", Kate asked into the silence, not able to find sleep.

"Mother's staying with her tonight," Rick said quietly. "Just in case she has nightmares."

"Good," Kate nodded into the semi-darkness. "I'd hate for her to be alone tonight."

"Your dad is heading back to the loft as well," Castle went on. "Keeping an eye on them for us."

"How are you?", she questioned, rolling onto her side to watch his back.

"I'm fine," he replied, not looking at her.

"Rick," she prodded, knowing his answer couldn't be further from the truth.

She heard him take a deep breath, watched his shoulder shudder slightly with the effort of holding back his emotions.

"I'm scared, Kate," he finally admitted as if he was ashamed of his feelings. "I've never been this scared in my whole life."

"Me too," Kate whispered, another tear rolling down her cheek. "Rick?"

This time he turned around to look at her, not trying to hide the tears in his own eyes.

"Can you hold me? Just for a while?", she reached out to him, watching as he carefully place Ellie's hand on top of the sheets, rearranging _Monkey Bunkey_, which Alexis had insisted he had to bring, before making his way over to his wife.

She scooted over, making room for him on the small bed and he carefully laid down on his back, catching Kate when she pressed herself around him. Her left arm snaking over his torso, one of her legs draped over his and his strong arms holding her close.

"I just want to take her home," Castle mumbled into her hair and Kate pressed even closer, grief filling her up even though she tried to cling to her father's words. Stay positive. "I wish there was something I could do. I feel so helpless."

"I know, Babe," she whispered into his chest. "We just have to stay strong for her. She needs us."

"You talked to your dad," Rick stated, "He told me the same."

"He's sneaky," Kate replied, soft chuckle escaping her lips.

"And probably right," Castle added, grinning himself.

They laid together in silence for a while, finding strength in each others presence and actually managed to catch an hour of sleep until the nurse came in to check on Ellie. From there on they took turns sitting at their daughter's side, the nurses, who were in and out all night shooting them soft, encouraging glances while they handed them one coffee after another.

* * *

"Kate?", Rick tried to wake her softly, but his wife immediately shot up in bed, looking around frantically.

"What?", she asked. "What's wrong?"

"Dr. Mellow is here," he told her softly and Kate ran a hand down her face trying to chase away the last cobwebs of sleep. She had had a confusing dream, but couldn't really remember the details. She climbed out from under the covers though, accepting Castle's hand to pull herself up.

"What's the plan?", she asked once she stood next to the doctor and her husband.

"We're prepping Ellie for another MRI, after that we should be able to determine where we go from here. I'm afraid I can't tell you much else at this point. Maybe you want to get some breakfast in the cafeteria in the meantime," Dr. Mellow suggested.

"How long is this going to take?"," Rick asked.

"She should be back in the room in about 40 minutes and I'll be back with the results as soon as possible," he promised, leaving them with a final encouraging nod as he followed the nurses who were pushing Ellie's bed out of the room.

"Come on, Love," Rick said, placing his hand at the small of Kate's back. "Let's grab something to eat and give the girls a call."

"I'm not really hungry," Kate admitted but let Castle guide her out of the room and down the hallway toward the elevators.

"Me neither, but we're no good to Ellie if we run ourselves into the ground and we both could use a break."

She nodded, knowing he was right and after all the coffee she drank during the night her stomach could really use something solid.

They walked into the cafeteria hand-in-hand and Castle motioned for Kate to find them somewhere to sit while he would get them a light breakfast. Kate scanned the room until her eyes came to rest on a familiar figure, sitting alone at the far end of the room. It was Thomas, the nice elder gentleman from the day before and thinking that no one should be alone in this kind of situation she walked over to him.

Thomas looked up when she approached and his tired looking face brightened for a second when he saw Kate.

"Hello Kate," he nodded. "Still here, I see."

"Yeah," she nodded with a sad smile. "So are you. Do you mind if we sit with you for a moment?"

"No, not at all," Thomas said. "It would be nice to have some company."

Castle appeared only minutes later with a tray filled with scrambled eggs, fruit salad and orange juice, greeting Thomas as he sat down next to Kate asking how the man's wife was doing.

Thomas sighed, telling them he had not much hope that he would be able to take her home any time soon, her blood work wasn't looking good and her heart had been further weakened by the chemotherapy. He asked about Ellie, wishing them all the best once more before he left them alone to get back to his wife. Kate's eyes followed him until he disappeared around a corner, before looking at her husband.

"He's all alone," she observed, unable to imagine what it must feel like to go through something like this on your own.

Castle's hand came to rest on her thigh and Kate leant into his side, her own hand coming to rest at his nape, playing with the soft hairs she found there, "Hey," Castle nudged her, "at least finish the fruit salad."

Kate sighed, but pulled the bowl toward her in the end to shovel down the rest of the fruits, poking her tongue out at Rick when he gave her a satisfied grin.

"Don't be so smug," she growled, before pulling him up. "Come on, let's call Jamie and Alexis before we go back upstairs."

* * *

Martha answered the phone, sounding tired and Kate and Rick knew immediately that the night at the loft hadn't been much better than theirs.

"Mother," Rick greeted her, "how are you guys holding up?"

"We had a rough night, but were hanging in there, Kiddo. How are you doing? Any news?"

"No, not yet. They took her for another MRI, we should know more in a little bit," Castle filled her in. "We will call you again as soon as we know anything specific."

"You do that, Richard, but hold on, Jamie and Alexis want to speak to you," Martha said and handed the phone over to her granddaughters.

The girls wanted to come to the hospital but both Rick and Kate didn't think it was a good idea, at least not until they knew what the next steps were. In the end Jim was the one to convince them to stay home for now, promising they would all come to the hospital in the afternoon.

When Kate and Rick stepped out of the elevator they were just in time to see Ellie being rolled back into her room, they hurried to catch up with the nurse.

"How is she?", Kate asked, grabbing for Ellie's hand.

"Dr. Mellow will be here shortly," she smiled at them, before checking on Ellie one last time and leaving the room.

"We will know soon," Castle said, sitting down next to Kate while grabbing one of Ellie's feet through the sheets. "One way or the other."

Kate nodded, grabbing for his free hand. "One way or the other."

* * *

_**AN: I guess frustration and your lovely reviews make me type faster. I think this is the fastest update yet for this story. ;-)**_

_**Update: Fixed the Jamie/Ellie mix-up. Thanks for pointing that out.**_


	12. 12 A Life to Remember

Rick and Kate's heads shot up when Dr. Mellow entered the room, his eyes fixed on a chart before lifting them to look at the worried parents.

"I have good news," he said with a smile, stepping further into the room. "The swelling is decreasing and I don't think that Ellie will need surgery."

"Thank God," Kate sighed relieved, turning around to pull Castle into a quick, yet fierce hug. For the first time since this whole ordeal started she felt like she could breathe again.

"What happens next?", Rick asked, turning his attention back to Dr. Mellow, while keeping an arm around his wife.

"I would like to keep her medication up for a while longer, just to give her body a little more time to settle and heal," the doctor explained, knowing that this was not the answer the Castles had been looking for.

"How much longer?", Kate asked, unsure how many hours more she would be able to bear seeing her daughter like this.

"Only until tonight, so really not that much longer. I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear, but with children her age it's always difficult to keep them relaxed and still once they regain consciousness. We just want to make sure that she's in a stable enough condition so we won't need to worry if she gets agitated," Dr. Mellow explained. "We would stop the medication in the evening and then the process of waking up will require some time as well. She'll be in and out of it all night, and by tomorrow morning the effects of the medications should have worn off completely."

"Okay," Rick nodded and then looked at Kate, "Whatever's best for Ellie, right?"

"Yes," she agreed.

"Very good," the doctor seemed satisfied, scribbling something onto the chart.

"So she'll be 100% okay, once she wakes up?", Kate questioned hesitantly.

Dr. Mellow sighed, rubbing a hand down his face, "I'm afraid I can't tell you for sure right now. It's hard to say if there'll be any lasting effects as long as she's not awake. I'm hopeful howsoever that that won't be the case. The MRI looks good, as well as the other test results, but we won't know for sure until she wakes up. I'm sorry."

Rick and Kate were silent for a moment, taking in what they had learned and Dr. Mellow stood back, giving the couple time to process all the information, before he asked if they had any further questions. They shook their heads and the doctor said his goodbyes, telling them he would be back later to check on his patient.

"So that was good news overall, right?", Castle frowned at Kate, the initial relief about the decreased swelling dimmed by the possibility that Ellie might wake up and not be the same.

"Yeah," she nodded and let her hand come up to rest against his cheek. "It is and we will focus on that, not on what might be, okay? We'll deal with that if we have to."

"Okay," he nodded, leaning into her touch until her arms travelled around his neck to pull him down for a soft kiss.

* * *

"I'm not sure this is a good idea," Kate said as they made their way to the elevators.

"Me neither," Castle said, but a small smile was playing around his lips, "but you heard our parents. They don't want to see us here in the next two hours."

"I want to be with Ellie," Kate whined and even she had to admit that she was sounding like a five-year old.

"Me too and we will be, but I also think mother is right. A shower, a change of clothes and something decent to eat will be good for both of us. From what Dr. Mellow said we're looking at a rough night, so we can use a little break to recharge the batteries. And she won't be alone. Our parents and the girls will take good care of her, so come on. The sooner we leave, the sooner we'll be back," Rick reasoned with her and Kate sighed in defeat.

* * *

"You think she can hear us?", Jamie asked her older sister who was currently reading to the two of them, while she sat in one of the chairs that had been moved next to the bed.

Alexis smiled, "I'm sure she knows we are here."

"Me too," Jamie nodded, continuing hold Ellie's hand. "I just hope she wakes up soon."

Alexis looked over at their grandparents who were sitting at a small table in the corner of the room, two cups of coffee in front of them and a plate filled with cookies, which the nurses had handed in. Martha gave Alexis an encouraging nod.

"You heard Mom and Dad," Alexis said, ruffling her sister's hair. "She'll be awake tomorrow."

"I want her to come home," Jamie sniffed, staring at the beeping machines around Ellie. "I don't like this place."

"Me neither," Alexis agreed and moved over in her chair. "Come here, Jamie." Her sister looked up and got off her own chair to squeeze in next to her sister. It was a tight fit, but they made it work. "Now, where were we?", Alexis asked and Jamie pointed to the paragraph were she had stopped. "Oh right," the redhead nodded and continued with the story.

* * *

"God Kate," Castle gulped, his forehead connecting with hers, trying to catch his breath as her legs slit down from his waist. He could hear her wince and was immediately concerned that he had been too rough, even though she had asked for it. "Did I hurt you?"

He gently turned her around, inspecting her back which was slightly red and raw where he had held her up against the shower wall, but she shook her head.

"I'm good," she reassured him, before reaching for the shampoo, not lingering in the moment they had just shared, her mind already back with Ellie and getting back to her as soon as possible without getting called on by Martha and her dad.

"Okay," he nodded, accepting her answer, though he knew it was a lie. He would see if he could get something from the nurses for the red streams on her back once they were back at the hospital, "I'll let you finish in here."

"I'll be quick," she replied and he laid another short kiss against her lips and then left her alone under the shower to wash her hair. Their quick and slightly rough encounter had managed to take the edge off of the both of them. They had needed an outlet for all that penned up frustration and fear and they could always count on finding release in each other. It was not about being in the mood, which they certainly weren't but it helped to be able to channel all those bitter feelings into something, in this case each other. Even though it had been rather primitive and not at all like something they would usually indulge in. Although they liked it rough from time to time. But they both could take it and once this was all over and Ellie home, sound and safe, he would make it up to his wife with a much more romantic repeat. But no matter the circumstances it helped him to connect to his wife in this way, it would make the following days much easier to bear and he knew it was the same for her.

He heard her shut off the hairdryer ten minutes later and shortly after she walked into the living room to join him in the kitchen.

"I called Montgomery," she said, gratefully accepting the glass of water he handed her. "He told me to take as much time off as I need. Espo and Ryan can handle it for a while."

"That's good," Castle replied, putting the final touches to their salads. "I packed some snacks for tonight and a bag with your favorite blanket and pillow as well as Ellie's. Maybe it will help to have something familiar around us."

"Thank you," she smiled, but wasn't looking at him.

"We're okay, Kate. Right?", he asked, concerned that what happened in the shower had actually not been as mutual as he thought.

"What?", she looked up. "Of course. Why are you asking?"

He glanced into the direction of their bedroom, "I didn't force …," he mumbled and she suddenly understood.

"No, Babe, no. I wanted it too. I needed it," she got up from her chair and rounded the counter to wrap him up in her arms. "I just feel guilty."

"Guilty?", he frowned.

"Ellie's in the hospital and I feel like we shouldn't do this," she muttered into his shirt.

"Oh Kate," he pulled her closer. "This wasn't about pleasure or lust, was it? It was about solace and frustration. A wicked way of support, I guess," he shrugged. "I think we're allowed to have that, if it helps us to be stronger for Ellie and I don't know about you, but I feel better, calmer. My heads clearer somehow."

"I feel the same," she admitted.

"See, there's nothing to feel guilty about."

"Okay," she managed a small smile for him and sat back down at the counter, glancing at her watch.

"Let's finish our meals and then we can head back, okay?", Castle suggested, sensing her need to be back at Ellie's side. He felt the same, though he had to admit that his mother had been right. They had needed this time to themselves and out of the hospital. He felt much better mentally, ready to face the decisions that might lay ahead and not just because of the sex. They had needed to get some perspective and for that to get some distance.

"Yeah," she agreed. "Sounds like a plan."

* * *

They stepped back into the hospital hand in hand, making there way up to the 4th floor where Ellie's room was located and found the rest of their family gathered around the girl's bed. Alexis was still reading to her sisters with Jamie half on her lap while Martha and Jim were quietly talking in another corner of the room.

"Any news?", Kate asked as they entered the room and she accepted her father's hug.

"No, but Dr. Mellow said he'll be here within the hour to go over everything with you," her dad told her.

"Thanks Dad," Kate replied before she walked over to Jamie and Alexis, pulling each of them into a fierce hug, "Hey, you two. How are you doing?"

"We're good," they both told her with tired smiles and Kate could see that the stress of the past day and night was taking it's toll on both of their girls as well.

"I think it's time for you to go home, hmmm?", she frowned, feeling their foreheads as they both had glassy eyes, but they seemed to be fine, just tired. "Maybe Grandpa and Grams will watch a movie with you before it's time for bed."

"Do we have to go back to school tomorrow?", Jamie asked, sliding off her sister's lap to snuggle into her mother.

"We'll see, okay?", Kate replied, since they hadn't really discussed it yet. The girls had stayed home today, but maybe the distraction would be good for them. She would talk to Castle about it later.

"Okay," Jamie accepted her mother's answer before she made her way over to her dad, who scooped her up into his arms.

"Hey Baby Bird, you look tired," he observed. "I think Mommy is right and you guys should head home."

"But I wanna be here when Ellie wakes up," the girl whined.

"She probably won't be awake until the morning, so you're not going to miss anything," he explained, looking over to Kate.

"And we'll call you as soon as she is," Kate supported him with a soft smile. "But you need to get some sleep. Can you do that for us?"

"Yeah," Jamie nodded and yawned as Castle set her down and she went to help Alexis put away the books they brought.

They said their goodbyes shortly after and then it was just the two of them and Ellie as they waited for Dr. Mellow.

* * *

They were dozing at Ellie's side, shooting up at every little movement of their daughter to see if she was waking up, but so far she just tossed around a little, which was still improvement after she had been so still for the past day.

The nurses were in and out all night, checking Ellie's vital signs and monitoring the process of weaning off the sedative while reassuring them that everything looked normal, it didn't do much to calm their anxious hearts though.

It was in the early morning hours when Kate stirred awake, she hadn't been really asleep but under enough to need a second to orientate herself until she realized what had called her back to consciousness in the first place.

"Mommy," the little whimper came again and Kate shot up from her seat to hover over her daughter, her hands cradling her tiny face.

"Ellie?", she gasped and saw her daughter blink back at her, her husband was crowding her back to get closer to them.

"Mommy," Ellie whined, holding her arms out to her mother and Kate gathered her up, careful of the IV that was still attached to the girl.

"Oh Baby," Kate's voice cracked as she pressed her lips against Ellie's forehead again and again, "We're so happy that you're awake."

Ellie didn't reply, just snuggled deeper into her mother's arms but grabbing for her father's hand with one of hers. She still didn't seem to be fully with them, but right now Kate couldn't care less, all that mattered was that her baby was awake.

Shortly after Ellie drifted off again and Kate could feel her husband rise behind her, reaching for the call button and sure enough a second later a nurse came in, giving the family a curious look as she found them all cuddled up.

"She woke up," Castle beamed at her and the nurse could not help but smile back.

"I'll get the doctor," she whispered and was gone again before either of them could say anything more.

* * *

_**AN: Thanks to the reviewer who pointed out my mix-up of Ellie/Jamie in the last chapter and to everyone else who took the time to review.**_

_**The past week was quite busy, hope I did't overlook too many typos etc. when I edited it.**_


	13. Chapter 13

xxxx

"Kate," he called up the stairs as quietly as he could, not wanting to wake the girls who were already asleep when his wife's head popped around the upper landing, giving him a sheepish shrug. "She's fine, Kate. Come to bed."

Ellie had been home for almost a week now and slowly everything was returning to their normal chaos. After their daughter had woken up she spent another couple of days in the hospital but was rapidly getting better so that the doctors had no objections to an early release. Once home, one of them had kept watch over her every night until she had woken up at three am and found her Dad snoring in the armchair next to her bed. She had protested she couldn't sleep with Daddy snoring at her side and so they had reluctantly left her alone during the night. But everything had been well and slowly they really started to believe that the storm had passed.

"I just wanted to make sure," Kate sighed, as she made her way down the stairs and into his open arms.

"We have the baby monitor and you heard the doctors. A couple of days of rest and she's back to her old self. You can stop worrying," he mumbled into her ear, while he held her close. "She's okay."

"I know, it's silly, but I can't," she admitted, snuggling deeper into his strong arms.

"It's not silly," he shook his head and then gently guided her toward their bedroom. "But I promise you, she's fine, I'm more worried about Jamie at this point," he said as he closed the bedroom door behind them.

"She's been very quiet," Kate nodded.

"And uber-careful with Ellie," Castle added. "Today she wanted to snuggle and Jamie declined, saying she needed to do homework, which I know wasn't true since she already did them after she came home from school. Ellie wasn't too disappointed because you came home shortly after but if Jamie keeps this up Ellie will realize sooner than later that something's going on with her sister that concerns her."

"And she won't understand because she doesn't even remember what happened that day," Kate sighed, sitting down on their bed, while Castle stepped out of his jeans and threw them on one of the arm chairs in the corner of the room.

"For Ellie nothing has changed, she thinks she just bumped her head but I think Jamie believes she let her sister down," Rick said, plopping down next to his wife on the bed, making her sway a little with his movement.

"Did you talk to her?", Kate asked, leaning into his side.

"I tried, but she didn't wanna listen," he sighed. "Maybe if you'd try?"

Kate nodded, "I talk to her tomorrow. I'm home anyway."

"You don't have to go in?", he frowned.

"No, Montgomery let me take the day off," she said as she stood up again to make her way into the bathroom.

"He's been very generous the last two weeks," Castle observed and Kate turned in the doorway.

"He has, but I'm sure the day will come that he wants the favor returned."

"Let's hope it's not for Christmas," her husband said slightly panicked, big eyes directed at her.

"You know the guys always cover Christmas for us," she reassured him with a smile.

"True," he grinned. "Though they drive a hard bargain."

Kate laughed, "You don't even have to pay for the season tickets."

He puffed and then muttered something to himself that she didn't catch.

She was right though. He knew a guy, though the boys didn't need to know that.

He followed her into the bathroom then, grabbing for the toothpaste just before she did and earned himself an eye roll which he answered with a wink before handing the toothpaste back to her.

They went through their nightly routine in silence, performing a well practiced dance around each other, stealing a touch here and there before they made their way back into their bedroom and climbed under the covers.

"What are you gonna tell her?", Castle asked as his wife snuggled into his side.

"I wish I knew," Kate sighed. "I wish I knew."

"I'm sure you'll figure something out," he encouraged her, but she huffed.

"You're the writer. You should be the one with all the words."

"True, but there are _Mommy_ and there are _Daddy_ topics and this seems to be _Mommy_ topic, besides you never failed to find the right words when it came to the girls. I have faith in you."

She huffed again, but the small smile on her lips told him all he needed to know. She was pleased with his words, with his faith in her. For someone who was so self-assured on her job, his wife could be surprisingly insecure when it came to her personal life. He wasn't exactly sure where this insecurities came from, could only speculate it had to do with her mother's death and her father's abandonment for the first couple of years of Jamie's life. But what he knew was, that he would always be there to encourage her and make sure she knew she was just as extraordinary as a mother and wife as she was as a cop. Even better in his humble opinion.

"What are you thinking about?", Kate's soft voice called him back to the present.

"Just how great you are," he smiled and laid a soft kiss against her lips.

She blushed, but pushed herself up to roll on to of him, "That's a compliment I can only return Mr. Castle."

"Is that so Mrs. Castle?", he smirked.

"Mmm," she hummed in affirmation before kissing his jaw, moving her lips down his neck to suck on his pulse point.

"Kate," he gasped, his hands coming up to bracket her waist. "We don't have to."

She pulled back, hurt swimming in her eyes when she looked at him, "Castle, what is wrong? We haven't since - ," he tried to roll out from under her, but she didn't let him, "talk to me. What's going on?"

He sighed, avoiding her eyes when he muttered, "We never had sex like that before."

"I told you it was fine," she said softly, but he kept staring past her. "Castle look at me. You did nothing wrong. I thought you understood that. We talked about it."

"You weren't just letting me off the hook?", he asked, finally looking at her.

"When have I ever let you off the hook, Rick?", she pressed. "Did I do anything since that day that made you think I was angry with you?"

He shook his head.

"Did I say with one word or show with one gesture that I didn't trust you anymore?"

He shook his head again.

"Then can we please just leave it behind us? We both wanted it, none of us did something wrong that day, okay?"

"Okay," he nodded, a tentative smile on his face. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," she rolled her eyes. "Just touch me already."

She was on her back before she could finish her sentence and found her husband smiling down at her rather smugly.

"Satisfied?", he asked.

"Not at all," she shook her head, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip as he settled between her hips, wriggling as he did so to pull a soft moan from her lips.

He kissed her then, while his hand slipped under her sleep shirt, wandering upwards.

"And now?", he asked when he came up for air, watching her grin at him, while she shook her head.

His hand retraced its path and travelled further south and he watched her closely as his fingers sneaked under the waist band of her shorts.

"Am I getting closer?", he teased, which she could only reply to by hissing his name. "I think I'm on the right path."

* * *

Castle built her up slowly this time, so slow actually that at some point she started to urge him on to go faster, but he kept the steady pace, letting them climb up, step by step, together. His fingers caressing her skin, eliciting goose bumps wherever he touched, while his mouth whispered words of love into her ear between kisses until they finally fell over the edge.

He was still on top of her, trying to catch his breath as she let her hands run up and down is naked, sweaty back, pretty much fazed out as well.

"Wow," Kate sighed, pulling him back down on top of her when Castle tried to roll off of her. "No stay."

"I'm crushing you," he protested, but her grip held firm.

"No," she shook her head. "I like it."

"Okay," he relented, snuggling into her embrace while still trying to hold some of his weight off of her. "You liked it?"

"I always like it with you," she reassured him. "Whether it's rough or gentle or in between. We're always good together, better than good."

"Yeah," he sighed happily and then grunted out something like a laugh, "All but that one time, with the …," he didn't dare say it.

"Uargh," she shuddered, "Don't remember me. That was awful. I still can't believe we tried that."

"We were drunk," he chuckled. "Especially you."

"Now wait a minute, you started it. You brought that -," he pressed his hand over her mouth.

"Don't you dare say it," he warned. "And do I need to remind you _who_ was rather enthusiastic in the beginning about the whole idea?"

"I was drunk," she muttered against his hand, until he pulled it away. "We'll never try that again. Never."

"That goes without saying," he nodded, watching her smile at him like an idiot.

"Now I wouldn't mind a repeat of what we did just now," she wriggled her eyebrows and he grinned eagerly back at her.

"That goes without saying too," he replied. "Good thing I didn't move, huh?"

"Mmh," Kate hummed, "I can feel how happy you are about that."

"Believe me, you'll feel much more in a minute."

"I sure hope so," she grinned, before he claimed her mouth once more with his.

* * *

"Hey you two," Castle grinned at his wife and youngest daughter when he emerged from his office where he had been writing for the past two hours. "What are you up to?"

"Just snuggling," Kate replied with a warm smile spread over her face.

"Snuggle time," Ellie beamed up at him from where she was sprawled over her mother's chest. "Daddy come?"

"Who wouldn't wanna snuggle with you with you two?", he asked in return.

"Jamie," Ellie replied quietly, which made Castle freeze, casting a glance at his wife, who wore a similar pained expression on her face. So their youngest had already sensed that something was wrong with her sister. He knew though that Kate was going to talk to Jamie later today and so he decided to choose the easier path for now.

"Nonsense," he shook his head. "Your sister just had a bunch of school work she needed to do this week. She loves snuggling with you just as much as we do, right?"

"She sure does," Kate nodded and then went on, "Come on let's make some room for Daddy."

Ellie nodded and moved a bit off of her mother so Kate could slide toward the edge of the couch to make room for Castle to squeeze in behind her.

"Daddy's big," Ellie stated with a grin, which made Kate laugh out loud.

"Should I feel offended?", Castle mumbled into Kate's ear, who pulled his arm around herself and Jamie, giving his hand a reassuring pat.

"Don't worry Babe, you're big in all the right ways."

He spluttered and coughed at her reply, earning another giggle from Ellie, who climbed over her mother to settle between her parents. Once she was comfortable, she patted Castle's chest, lifting her eyes that looked so much like her mother's to study his face, "Okay?"

"More than okay," he replied softly, kissing her nose before pulling the blanket over all of them, "but now it's nap time."

* * *

Castle had Alexis and Ellie occupied downstairs with a board game which was way too complicated for the two-year old but the girl loved teaming up with Alexis and didn't really care what the game was about as long as she could be a part of it. Kate had seized the opportunity and walked upstairs to talk to Jamie about her reluctance to interact with her sister and was currently standing in front of the girl's room, ready to knock.

"Come in," Jamie called out when she heard to knock on the door turning toward her mother as Kate stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

"Can we talk?", she asked softly, noting Jamie's worried expression.

"Did I do something wrong?", her daughter frowned and Kate quickly shook her head.

"No you didn't do anything wrong," Kate said, sitting down next to Jamie on the bed, "but do you wanna tell me why you're avoiding Ellie?"

"I'm not avoiding Ellie," Jamie snapped, turning her back to her mother.

"Jamie, it's not your fault," Kate said softly, reaching for her daughter to pull her back toward her. "These things just happen and you won't stop them from happening just because you keep avoiding playing with your sister."

"I helped her onto the table, even though you said I shouldn't," Jamie sobbed and Kate pulled her into her lap.

"And that wasn't okay, but she could have fallen off the couch or down the stairs or whatever. The important thing is, she is fine and she's missing her sister who used to love to play with her," Kate explained, but Jamie just buried deeper into her arms and Kate decided to change course.

"Do you remember when you and Alexis went to the playground when you were still little?"

"You mean when I fell of the jungle gym and broke my arm?", Jamie frowned.

"Yes," Kate nodded, "and do you remember how upset Alexis was because she let you climb up there on your own?"

Jamie nodded.

"And what did you wanted to do the next days even with your cast on?", Kate asked.

A small smile played around Jamie's lips, "I wanted to climb up again."

"Where you angry with Alexis back then? Or would you have wanted her to stay away from you?"

Jamie shook her head, "No, I wanted her to come with me."

"See," Kate smiled. "That's how Ellie feels."

"Oh," Jamie looked at her with big eyes and then scrambled up from her mother's lap. "I thought she wouldn't like me anymore, because it was my fault."

"Baby Bird, Ellie doesn't even remember what happened. She just misses her big sister," Kate smiled at her and Jamie's eyes lit up.

She threw herself into Kate's arms, pressing a kiss against her cheek as she mumbled, "Thank you Mom. I love you."

"I love you too," Kate replied giving her a squeeze before she sat her back down. "And now go and play with you sister."

Jamie was out the door before Kate had even stood up and when she followed her daughter downstairs to the living room she found Castle staring at her from the couch, a big goofy smile on his face as he watched Jamie and Ellie team up against Alexis to start a new round playing the board game.

"We're gonna crush you," Jamie growled, followed by an evil laugh which Ellie imitated a second later.

"Yeah, crush you," the little girl grinned, while Alexis tried to keep a straight face.

"Bring it on," the red-head said, causing her parents to chuckle as they got comfortable on the couch to watch the _Crushing._

"What did you say to her?", Castle mumbled into her ear.

"Just reminded her of a similar situation."

"Oh, the jungle gym incident," Rick nodded. "I knew I married a smart woman."

"You sure did," Kate agreed and then the both had to laugh when Ellie once more proclaimed that she was going to crush her sister.

* * *

... tbc


	14. 14 A Life to Remember

**_AN: I know it's been forever and I'm sorry it took so long. First I had no time and then I couldn't get back into the groove. I hope it gets better now._**

* * *

"Castle, you coming?", Kate called back over her shoulder, watching Castle stumble over a pile of cardboard boxes as he made his way back out of the alley they had just canvassed, "We're heading back to the precinct."

"Actually," he stuttered, hurrying toward her. "Actually, I just remembered that I have to get the next chapter done for Gina, so I think I better head home." He looked sheepishly at her and Kate frowned.

"Okay," she replied slowly. It was the first time in weeks he mentioned being behind with his writing. "You want us to drop you off?"

"Nah," he shook his head and then pointed toward the intersection. "I'm gonna take the subway."

"If you say so," Kate nodded, still slightly confused. He had been more than enthusiastic in joining the case when he heard about the involvement of call girls, although he had insisted his interests lay purely in the structures of the business not the women. She wondered why he had changed his mind all of a sudden. "You sure you're okay?"

"Splendid," he grinned goofily at her and she shrugged, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

"See you later," she said before heading over to where the boys were waiting for her.

"What about Castle?", Ryan asked frowning at their friend who was slowly making his way down the street to the next subway station, while throwing suspicious glances over his shoulder.

"He claims he has to write, though I'm sure something else is going on," Kate told them, without giving it much of a thought. She knew her husband had a tendency to be rather cryptic when he spurred one of his crazy ideas.

"Maybe it's something for your birthday," Ryan suggested with a smile. "Castle sure knows how to make a girl feel special."

"Oh yeah?", Espo snickered, bumping his shoulder into Kate's. "How would you know?"

"Shut up Espo," Ryan growled. "That's not what I meant."

"You sure?", his partner grinned.

"Could be," Kate nodded, referring to Ryan's statement that her husband was planing something for her birthday. "One thing is sure, he's not going home to write."

The three detectives headed back to their cars, not paying any further attention to the fourth member of their team who was still lingering at the corner of the intersection.

Castle waited for Kate and the boys to climb into their cars and disappear around the corner before he retraced his steps and hurried back into the alley he had come out of only minutes before.

* * *

When Kate came home later that evening she could already hear laughter coming out of their apartment as she stepped off the elevator.

"Look Dad!", she heard Jamie holler, followed by giggles and clapping.

"They're so cute," Alexis' muffled voice came through the front door and Kate wondered what her family seemed to be so excited about.

Opening the front door and stepping into the loft it didn't take Kate long to realize what exactly the whole fuzz was about. There in the middle of the living room was her family playing with two baby kittens.

"Hey Mom," Jamie was the first to notice their mother. "Look what Dad brought home."

"Strays?", Kate frowned and hoped she wasn't right and that those two furry things were simply here for one night because one of their neighbors had to leave town on short notice or something like that.

"Dad says we can keep them," Jamie beamed up at her, followed by Ellie's delighted squeal and only their oldest daughter and her husband noticed the irritated look on her face.

"Oliver," Ellie grinned holding up the orange striped kitten for her mother to inspect, but Kate only managed a half smile for her daughter before her eyes travelled to her husband who lifted his eyes up to her, sensing that he was in trouble.

"And this is Sookie," he tried to charm his way onto Kate's good side, by holding up the white kitten with two black ears and three black paws, but he could tell that his wife was only holding it together for the sake of their children.

"Castle, can we talk?", she asked tersely, pulling him over to the kitchen counter to get some distance between them and the girls. "Where did you find them and why are they here?", she then demanded to know once she was sure the girls weren't listening in.

"Uhm in that alley, earlier …?," he stammered, setting Sookie on the ground, where the little thing hurriedly made her way back over to Alexis, sensing the tense atmosphere in the kitchen.

"That's why you left?", Kate asked. "You didn't have to write?"

"No," Castle shook his head. "I'm sorry Kate, but look at them. They were helpless and all alone I couldn't just leave them there."

"No, you couldn't but that doesn't mean you had to bring them home," Kate hissed. "At least not without talking to me first, didn't we just decide that we don't have time for a pet a couple of weeks ago?"

"But Kaaate," he whined. "Look how cute they are."

"I don't care how cute they are, we are not keeping them. Whose gonna take care of them? They're not even housebroken," Kate replied, watching Oliver prove her point by peeing on her youngest lap, causing Ellie to shriek in shock before the girl started to giggle, "Silly Oliver," they heard her say affectionately to the cat.

"I'll train them," Castle promised eagerly.

"When Castle?" Kate questioned, losing her patience, "We have three kids to take care of, I have a full time job with horrible hours and you are writing a new book for which you are shadowing me, when would you possibly find the time to train two baby kittens?"

"We'll help Mom," Jamie tried to come to her father's aid, having listened in to her parents conversation after all, but Kate had already made up her mind.

She shook her head, "They can't stay. You will find a new place for them tomorrow."

"But Mom," Jamie protested and even Alexis and Ellie lifted big eyes to her mother.

"Enough," Kate said sternly. "They can stay for the night, but tomorrow they'll have to go."

"You're mean!", Jamie exclaimed, storming off with Sookie whom she had grabbed from Alexis's hands and Kate shot her husband and icy look.

"Thanks for making me be the bad guy," she hissed before storming off as well, closing the bedroom door behind herself with slightly more force than usual.

"Shit," Castle muttered, causing Ellie to clamp her hand over her mouth with big wide eyes. "Sorry," he apologized immediately.

"Daddy in trouble?", the little girl ask from her spot on the floor where she was still entertaining Oliver, despite her wet jeans.

"Big trouble," he nodded with a sigh.

"Don't you wanna go after her?", Alexis asked, glancing worriedly at the closed bedroom door.

Castle considered his options but finally shook his head, "I think it's best to let her cool off first. I'll go and talk to her after the girls are in bed."

"Do you think Mom will really make them go?", Alexis frowned, they all had already become so attached to the two fur-balls, she didn't want to give them away.

"I don't know," Castle replied honestly, "but I think this is more about me than about Oliver and Sookie."

"Daddy?", Ellie looked up at her father with her big eyes, that looked so much like her mother's.

"It's gonna be alright," he smiled down at her, before picking her up. "It's time for bed anyway, but first we gotta clean you up."

* * *

He came back down the stairs an hour later, the girls in bed and both kittens in his arm. Alexis was still up, learning for a test, but he had made her promise not to stay up too long. He dreaded to make his way into the bedroom. He was pretty sure he knew what was waiting for him in there and it wouldn't be pretty. He made his way into his office first though, having set up Ellie's playpen as a _kitten jail_, not wanting the two cuties to wander around the loft during the night.

But beside the playpen he also found a pillow and blanket on the small couch in his study and he realized he was in even bigger trouble that he had thought.

"Great," he muttered as he grabbed the blanket, it wasn't often that Kate banned him from their bed, but when she did he knew he had screwed up big time. And he really should have known that it would come to this. They _had _talked about a pet, specifically a dog three weeks ago and _yes_ they had agreed that they didn't have the time and yet he had brought the two strays home without second thoughts, as usual. And this was probably the main issue here, that he hadn't talked to her about it. He knew how much she disliked not being included in this kind of decisions and yet he managed to do it again and again. Not on purpose, never that. He would never try to hurt her with his actions, but he just liked surprises and he had a tendency to forget about the rest when he thought he had a great idea. Well this great idea had won him a night on the couch on which he was trying to get comfortable, while grumbling to himself about his misfortune.

* * *

Kate tossed and turned in bed, she never slept well when he was not beside her, but she had been so angry earlier that she had thought it would be worth it, it wasn't though and with a sigh she turned over to stare at the vacant spot beside her only to find it occupied by a little orange fur ball.

"Oliver?", she mumbled quietly and the little kitten opened it's eyes to look back at her. "What are you doing here?"

Not expecting an answer Kate watched Oliver get up and lumber over toward her to curl up against Kate's chest and tuck himself under her chin, letting out a content purr as he settled down.

Kate sighed, "You're a charmer aren't you?", she said stroking the cat's back. "Come on let's get the big trouble maker back into this bed, because no matter how cute you are, you're not the real thing."

She picked Oliver up, held him close to her chest as she made her way over to the office, finding Castle sprawled on his stomach on the couch, one of his arms dangling over the floor while Sookie was curled up on his back.

"Okay, okay," Kate relented with an affectionate smile. "You two are really adorable. I get it. Still doesn't mean you can stay."

"Kate?", Castle's groggy voice filled the room and Kate looked down to find her husband blinking up at her.

"Come back to bed Castle," she simply said, grabbing Sookie from his back before he could accidentally throw her off. "This isn't comfortable for your back. Plus it's lonely over there without you."

He scrambled up, grabbing his pillow, all too eager to please her, "Did you get them out?", he asked and frowned at Oliver and Sookie who were now both tucked against Kate's chest.

She shook her head, "No Oliver sneaked into bed with me."

"Huh?," Castle scratched his head. "How did they get out?"

"Doesn't matter right now, Rick. Come to bed," Kate turned but was held back by his hand on her elbow.

"Kate I'm sorry," he started. "I should have asked you first. I got excited and thought it would be a great surprise."

"I know," she smiled. "It's who you are and I might have slightly overreacted earlier, but you know how I feel about these things. I'm missing out on so much already as it is with the hours I work and it makes me feel excluded when you keep me out of these kind of decisions, plus you make me out to be the bad guy when I have to be the one to tell the girls 'No'."

He did know. She had told him this before and it made him feel even worse that he had forgotten to consider her side in all of this. "I'm really sorry."

Kate nodded, accepting his apology before she moved into the bedroom, Castle close behind.

"But the questions remains. What are we going to do with them?", Kate asked, as she sat down on the bed, cuddling both kittens against her chest, already smitten with them.

"I'll train them Kate. I promise. I can get a head start on the next chapters and stay home for a week or two, until they know where to pee, what to chew on and all that stuff and then I come back. I have enough material and ideas to get me through a couple of weeks."

Kate looked at him, uncertainty swimming in her eyes, before looking at the two purring kittens in her arms.

"Come on Kate, you're already falling in love with them," he grinned, scooting over to her side of the bed, stroking Sookie's head. "Pretty please."

"Alright. You win. They can stay," she finally relented, watching his eyes go wide in happiness.

"I love you," he grinned before pressing his lips against hers with the two purring kittens between them. "The girls will be so excited."

"More excited than you?", she asked teasingly and he simply kissed her again.

xxx


	15. Chapter 15

xxx

The following morning started early with Jamie climbing into their bed to apologize to her mother for yelling at her the day before, followed by the girl's happy squeal when Kate revealed that she had changed her mind and that Oliver and Sookie could stay after all.

Jamie scrambled out of bed after receiving the news, disappearing into the office to play with the new family members who had been placed back in the playpen last night after they had gotten in the way of Rick and Kate's _make-out-make-up-session_.

Kate sighed happily snuggling back into Castle's warm figure, draping one of her legs over his and hoping for a couple of more minutes of blissful laziness.

"When do you have to go in?", Rick mumbled into her neck, where he had buried his nose.

"I told the boys I'd have breakfast with you guys because I missed dinner last night, so I still have some time," she replied, laughing when his fingers tickled her sides.

"Does that mean we have time for …?," Rick's eyebrows wriggled suggestively as his hands moved lower but before he could actually start something, they heard Jamie call out from the living room.

"Mom! Sookie peed on the couch."

"Uhhh," Kate groaned and only reluctantly let her husband get out of bed.

"I'll take care of that," he grinned sheepishly, "and then I'll train them today. I read it doesn't take long for cats to get the point of the litter box."

Kate watched him retreat, instantly missing his warmth and with another groan let herself drop back down onto her pillow, so much for some extra minutes in bed.

* * *

Later that day Kate sat at her desk, looking over their victim's financial records once more, while the boys were out getting lunch as a video message from Castle came in. He had gotten them the newest IPhone just weeks ago, saying it would be the future in mobile phones. Kate wasn't so sure about that, but her husband kept sending her pictures and videos from home when she wasn't there and that was enough to keep her a fan of it for now.

Tapping the screen of her phone she saw Oliver making his way over to the litter box and doing his business before reemerging and joining Sookie to lazily curl on the rug in front of Rick's desk. Soon after her husband appeared on the screen, grinning from ear to ear.

"They're both pros when you come home tonight, you'll see," he said before ending the video.

Kate smiled and quickly dialed his number, while she was still alone in the bullpen, waiting for Rick to pick up.

"Hey," she could hear the smile in his voice. "They're both really clever."

"So I see," she replied with a smirk. "Have you gotten any writing done?"

"Nope, I was busy training," he replied smugly.

"If that's what you wanna call it," Kate teased.

"How's the case going?", Castle asked, lying back on the rug in front of his desk, letting the two kittens climb up on him and settling on his chest.

"Slow," Kate sighed. "Espo has a fake date with one of the call girls tonight, hopefully that will shake something loose."

"What?", Rick shrieked. "Why Espo? Why not me? I can be back at the precinct tonight."

He was met with silence and went back over his words.

"Okay that didn't came out right," he admitted.

"U-huh," Kate agreed at the other end of the line.

"What I meant was that I would be much more convincible in the role of a call girl client that Espo," he tried to clarify.

"Is that so?", Kate raised one eyebrow even though her husband couldn't see it.

"Uhm," he couldn't win this one, could he? "Forget I said anything," he finally relented.

"Mmmh, I think that would be best," his wife grinned.

"Any idea when you'll be home tonight?", Castle changed the subject, watching Oliver walk down his outstretched legs and then biting into his big toe, causing Castle to yelp. "No, no, no. Stop that," he demanded, trying to shake the kitten off, but Oliver dug his claws into his feet instead. "I gotta go," he managed to say, before disconnecting the call, leaving Kate to wonder what had happened at home.

"Yo, Beckett. What's up?", Espo asked when he and Ryan walked in, noticing her amused face.

"I think Castle just got attacked by one of our kittens," Kate explained.

"You have kittens?", Ryan gasped. "Ahhh, how cute."

"Bro." Espo shook his head. "It's just kittens."

"I love kittens," Ryan protested, watching Espo walk over to his desk without another word.

"You can come over to play anytime Kev," Kate smirked.

"Really?", his eyes widened in excitement.

"Sure," Kate simply shrugged.

"Cool," Ryan sighed happily before grabbing his lunch and sitting down at his own desk.

* * *

Kate was home very late that night and everyone but Castle was already fast asleep, even Oliver and Sookie were curled up on the couch, dead to the world.

"Hey," her husband greeted her with a kiss and then pointed at the felines, "Jamie and Ellie wore them out or the other way around, I'm not sure."

"Sorry, I'm so late," Kate sighed, sneaking her arms around Rick's waist, burying herself into his chest.

"Did you catch the killer?", Castle asked, closing the front door and guiding her toward the kitchen. He was sure she hadn't had dinner yet.

"No," she sighed unhappily.

"Okay, I know exactly what you need," he smiled, making her sit down at the kitchen island. "I have some light dinner for you. A salad and some couscous and while you eat I will draw you a nice bubble bath. How does that sound?"

"Wonderful," she sighed. "Thanks."

He nodded, happy to make things a bit easier for her, knowing how much she disliked having to miss their girls bedtime. He placed the salad and couscous in front of her and disappeared into their bathroom to get the bubble bath started.

Kate ate her dinner, placing the plate in the sink and then quickly sneaked upstairs to peek into the girls' room. Satisfied that everyone was peacefully asleep, she made her way back downstairs and into their bedroom.

Castle was already waiting for her, helping her out of her work clothes and underwear before leading her into the bathroom. She stepped into the steaming water and watched Castle lighten some candles, before leaving her to it with a quick kiss to the top of the head. "I'll come and get you in twenty, okay?"

She nodded and closed her eyes, relaxing into the warm water, trying to forget about the case for a while.

True to his word Rick came back twenty minutes later with a fresh, fluffy towel to wrap her up in and Oliver and Sookie hot on his heels.

"Hey you little trouble makers, you are awake," Kate greeted the two, kneeling down to scratch both kittens behind the ear, who were eager to purr and nuzzle against her bare legs. "Did you get potty trained today?"

"In no time," Castle bragged like a proud daddy. "And no chewing on furniture either. The only thing they like to chew on apparently are my toes."

Kate raised one eyebrow, "Really? Your toes? I find other body parts of yours much more chewable."

"Kate," he growled in warning, but she waved him off.

"Not tonight Tiger. I'm way too tired."

"Then lets get you to bed," he smiled, letting her pass him to get into the bedroom to change into her pj's, which consisted of one of his shirts.

"By the way Ryan wants to play with the kittens," she told him while Castle was brushing his teeth.

"Huh?", he stuck his head around the door frame. "Ryan?", he mumbled around his tooth brush.

"Yeah, apparently he has a thing for kittens," she grinned.

"Tell him to come over," Castle said after he had finished in the bathroom and moved back into the bedroom.

"I already did. Expect a call."

"Cool," he nodded and crawled under the covers, while Kate quickly went to brush her teeth.

They were both in bed and fast asleep ten minutes later, with Oliver and Sookie sleeping curled up at the end of their bed.

* * *

The next days and weeks went by smoothly. Kate and the boys solved the call girl case and Castle was back at the precinct with them, whenever he had the time. They celebrated Kate's birthday for which Rick had planed a surprise party and spent the next weekend in the Hamptons with the whole family.

Their family life continued to be the usual chaos, now adding two kittens into the mix and Ryan who turned out to be a bigger kitten fan than everyone had expected.

The new year came and went and nothing out of the ordinary happened until the day Beckett and her team were called in to investigate a murder at a wedding and Castle ran into his ex-girlfriend, Kyra.

TBC


	16. 16 A Life to Remember

_January 2010_

* * *

"What on earth are you four doing?", Martha asked, waving her arms around when she came down the stairs, finding her son duct-taped to a chair while her granddaughters added more layers of tape to fixate him.

"Dad has Nikki Heat duct-taped to a chair in his next chapter and doesn't know how to get her out of it," Alexis explained while Jamie and Ellie kept adding tape to their dad's legs.

"Am I right that you waited for Katherine to leave the house before you started this?", Martha looked knowingly at her son.

"I don't need Kate's approval to be duct-taped to a chair," he stated defiantly, giving her a pout. Of course he had sworn the girls to secrecy. He wasn't stupid.

"Well, you just keep believing that. Anyway girls hurry up, we don't wanna be late," Martha turned to get her coat.

Jamie quickly placed one last strap of tape over her father's mouth, "Done," she stated happily before skipping off to grab her coat as well.

Castle watched his girls and mother leave him with one last wave, belatedly realizing that Jamie had snatched his wallet and with that his credit card, but his muted protests fell on deaf ears.

* * *

"We were about to send out a search party. Where you been?", Esposito asked as Castle finally met them at the crime scene.

"I really don't wanna talk about it," he replied, looking around for his wife.

"Beckett wouldn't approve if she knew, huh?", Ryan grinned knowingly.

"Yup," Castle confirmed, trying hard to hide his amusement. It hadn't been easy to free himself but in the end he had managed and knew exactly how he wanted the scene in his book to go, but right now he had a real crime to attend. "So where's the crime scene?"

"Sixth floor," Espo pointed him toward the elevators, but stopped him before Castle could step in before them, "Yo bro, is that duct tape on your pants?"

Castle looked down and ripped the tape off, narrowing his eyes at Ryan and Espo as he hissed, "Don't you dare tell Beckett. Not a word."

The boys snickered but promised to keep their mouths shut as the elevator doors closed and they climbed up to the sixth floor.

Stepping out of the elevator on the sixth floor Castle had learned that their victim was one of the bridesmaids of a wedding party, "Bridesmaid, huh? What happened? Wouldn't get caught dead in that dress?", he asked.

Ryan shook his head, "They're actually not that bad. A subtle mauve chiffon.""

"Dude, really? Mauve?", Espo looked disgusted, shaking his head.

"What? I have sisters," Ryan defended himself. "You should have seen their dresses. Hideous."

"Ah, bridesmaid dresses are supposed to be hideous," Castle offered with a shrug.

"Really?," Espo frowned. "But Lanie's bridesmaid dress at your wedding was beautiful."

"That's because I married a woman with class," Castle grinned proudly. "Not to forget that she's incredibly hot and doesn't need to fear to be outshone."

Ryan and Espo rolled their eyes, but were stopped from any further comments by said woman's arrival.

"Thanks babe, but keep it down while we're on the job, okay?", Kate winked at her husband, having heard his proclamation.

"Roger," Castle smiled sheepishly and then added quietly. "It's true though."

She blushed slightly but got down to business quickly and lead them into a suite.

Stepping inside Castle stopped dead in his tracks as he immediately recognized the woman waiting for them.

"Kyra?", he gasped.

"Rick? Rick Castle?", the woman looked just as surprised, before a wide smile appeared on her face, while Kate's face turned to stone, remembering exactly why the name Kyra sounded so familiar.

"You're _the_ Kyra?", Kate stuttered out unceremoniously and turned a light shade of red when she realized that she had actually said that out aloud.

"And you're _the_ Kate," Kyra replied warmly.

Castle grinned from ear to ear, stepping closer to Kate and wrapping his arm around her waist, "Kyra this is my wife Kate, Kate this is Kyra." He made the official introduction and both women shook hands slightly awkward.

"I heard that you got married again," Kyra smiled. "And kids, right?"

"Yeah," Castle nodded, puffing his chest out like the proud papa bear he was. "Three."

"That's great," Kyra replied honestly, smiling over at Kate. "I'm sure they're adorable."

Kate nodded as some of the tension she had felt when realizing who the woman in front of her was disappeared. Kyra actually seemed nice. "They are."

They went over what happened the night before and when the boys and Kate discussed their next move Castle and Kyra started chatting.

"Castle," Kate tried to get her husband's attention. "Lanie's got something for us."

"I'll catch up," Castle said, giving her a smile. "Okay?"

"Okay," Kate nodded, though she wasn't thrilled about leaving her husband alone in a room with his first true love.

* * *

"So what happened to the girl that said that marriage was a Jurassic institution?", Castle asked, giving her another once over.

"Same as you," she laughed. "She grew up. I mean three kids, Rick?"

He grinned and shrugged, "They are amazing."

"You know, when I read that you and Meredith had broken up," she stopped waiting if she was being too forward but Castle nodded for her to go on, "Well for a while I thought you'd end up as a lonely cliché playboy."

Castle sighed and then said, "She saved me. _They _saved me."

"She seems nice," Kyra nodded. "And stunning. Geez Rick. I mean I've seen pictures but she's even more beautiful in real life."

"She is," Castle agreed, his eyes sparkling. "I'm a lucky man, but how about you? Is your groom all grown-up too? All work and no play?"

"No," Kyra laughed. "He plays just enough."

"He's a lucky man as well," Castle said.

A couple of minutes later Kyra had been swept away by her groom, Greg, and Castle was met by his wife in the hallway.

"All caught up?", she asked, trying to sound unbothered.

"Yep," Castle said and placed a quick kiss against her cheek when he was sure no one was looking. "You know, it seems like another lifetime when I was with her."

* * *

They met back up with the boys downstairs who had been busy questioning the wedding guests and were able to speak to all of them but a groomsman called Mike Weitz.

"None of the guests has seen Mike since last night," Ryan informed Beckett.

"We checked his room. The bed's made, his tux is still hanging in the closet and his key card shows his last entry at 2 a.m.," Espo went on.

"2 a.m., all right," Beckett nodded. "Any signs of foul play?"

Ryan shook his head, "No, but his toothbrush and bags are still there.""

"Have hotel security start searching the premises," Beckett instructed.

"You think we're going to find another body?", Castle asked curious, but his wife shook her head.

"More likely, Mike's our killer, and he ran off after strangling Sophie. So put an APB out, get Mike's photos to all airports and train stations."

Ryan nodded in agreement and then added, "I'll check back with the wedding guests. See if I can get a clearer picture of Mike and Sophie's interactions."

"Okay, thank you," Beckett said.

"Or," Castle suggested, grabbing into a bowl filled with cameras, "we could watch last night's festivities for ourselves. On these handy-dandy digital video cameras."

* * *

After watching the video of the rehearsal dinner they had a suspect. Boyd Gamble, a dealer who had called Sophie on her phone during Mike Weitz speech. Their victim had left the dinning room shortly after.

Beckett sent Espo and Ryan to pick Gamble up and stepped into the hotel elevator just to run into Kyra once again. She forced a smile on her lips and looked down at Castle's ex.

"Was that about Mike?", Kyra asked pointing toward Beckett's phone.

"Uh, no. Just following up on a lead." They awkwardly stood next to each other unsure of what to say to each other. "Your dress is lovely, by the way," Kate smiled finally, nodding at Kyra's wedding dress.

"Oh, thank you so much." Kyra beamed up at Kate. "You know, I feel like I know you a little. From Nikki Heat and Rick's dedications.

"Oh," Kate looked surprised.

"I still read all of Rick's books," Kyra replied with a shy look. "I hope that's not too weird."

"What?", Kate stuttered and then smiled. "Oh no. I mean Castle's books are quiet good after all."

Kyra nodded, "It's funny that you call him that, "Castle." When I knew him, he was just "Rick," fresh off his first best-seller. Well, it seems like another lifetime."

* * *

They waited for Ryan and Espo to get back to them after talking to Boyd Gamble and when they did it turned out that Gamble had met Sophie but hadn't killed her. Sophie had requested roofies from the dealer and since Gamble didn't have those on him he had let her met him in the park, where he had left her unharmed as he promised. Beside that Gamble couldn't provide anything more useful.

Castle and Beckett were discussing Sophie's need for the drugs as they almost ran into a group of women, one of them turning around to look at Castle with disgust.

"Richard. Figures you'd be at the heart of this mess," the woman said, giving Castle a look that said she believed he should be kept outside with the dogs. A look that Kate didn't amuse at all.

With a sigh Castle made polite introductions nevertheless, "Detective Beckett, this is Sheila Blaine, mother of the bride." He smile, but Kate knew it was forced. "So, I guess I didn't end up homeless or teaching at a third-rate college in New Hampshire after all."

"There's still time," Kyra's mother snipped, looking fleetingly over at Kate.

"I've missed our special talks," Castle replied, trying to stay polite, but failing. "Sheila didn't approve of struggling artists. You must like Greg though. He's from money, right?""

"It was never about the money, Richard. It was about character. And you would know that, if you had any."

"Excuse me?," Kate stepped forward, having enough, but Castle held her back as the watched Sheila Blaine walk away.

"Don't Kate," Castle shook his head.

"But …," his wife looked at him, her eyes gleaming with anger.

"She's not worth it," Castle said gently. "I know who I am. You know who I am. That's all that matters."

"Still," Kate growled, making Castle chuckle.

"I like it when you're defending me," he grinned.

"Pfff," she huffed. "You didn't let me. I would have loved to give her a piece of my mind."

"I'm sure you would," he laughed but before Castle could go on Beckett's phone rang. Apparently Mike Weitz had been found.

* * *

After they had talked to Mike they hadn't learned much more other than that Sophie had drugged him and then obviously locked him into a supply closet. They decided it was time to have a closer look at their victim and while Beckett and the boys got started working on warrants and background checks Castle ventured around to find his ex-girlfriend once more.

He found her in the reception hall, hidden behind her wedding cake.

"Couldn't let it go to waste," Kyra shrugged, licking some of the frosting off her finger. "How did you find me?"

"I just figured, what was the one place where no one would think to look for you?", Castle smiled.

"At a wedding?"

"At your wedding. Where's...?", he frowned.

"Greg." Kyra offered.

"Right," Castle nodded. "Greg."

"He's taking care of things. He's good at that." She looked at the cake and frowned. "So, if you don't get married, is it just a regular old cake?"

"It's still wedding cake. It's tiered, got flowers, it's in a ballroom."

"Mmm. If things had gone as planned today, I would be twirling around on the dance floor with my husband right about now," Kyra said sadly.

"Do you remember the last time we danced?", Castle asked and Kyra nodded.

"Under the clock at Grand Central Station."

Castle gave her wistful look, "You were on your way to JFK to catch a flight to London."

"You were supposed to follow me," Kyra raised one eyebrow.

"You said you needed space," he shrugged.

Kyra sighed and then said quietly, "I didn't mean forever."

Castle shrugged and then laughed. It didn't really matter any more.

"So, you've done all of this before?", Kyra changed the subject. The question not really being a one, since she knew the answer.

"Twice," Castle smiled. "The first time obviously didn't work out too well, but with Kate …," he trailed off. His eyes sparkling.

"She's the one, huh?", Kyra smiled up at him. "How did you know? That she was the one, I mean."

"Well," he grinned like an idiot and then pulled out his wallet, showing her a picture of their daughters.

"Alexis," he pointed out his oldest. "Meredith – let's just say she's not what you would call the best mother material, more like a crazy aunt and I did my best, but I knew that she was still missing out. That she didn't have a _Mom_, but a mother on the other end of the country, who even forgot her birthday."

"I'm sorry," Kyra sighed, but Castle shook his head.

"And then Kate came. I admit our start was a bit, well unorthodox and more than rocky, but with her and Jamie everything changed. She's such a great mom. To Jamie, Ellie _and_ Alexis. She treats them all the same. They are _all_ her girls." He looked back up at her. "I'm really blessed Kyra. I can't imagine my life without her anymore. Kate and the girls are all that really matters to me. Not the books, the money, nor the fame. Our family, that's all that matters."

"I'm really happy for you," Kyra smiled and then leant up to place a kiss against his cheek. "You deserve to be happy."

Castle was about to reply when Kate stuck her head around the door, giving them an odd look at finding the two so close to each other.

"Castle? We're on our way," she said, a tight lip smile on her lips.

"Coming," he grinned.

"I should go upstairs. They'll be looking for me," Kyra said, smiling at Kate as she stepped past her.

"What was that about?", Kate frowned at her husband, pointing back to where Kyra and Rick had stood just a second ago.

"I just told her how lucky I am to have you and the girls and she said that she was happy for us," Castle told her. "So you can drop that disapproving scowl."

"I'm not scowling," Kate huffed, ignoring him as she strutted toward Espo and Ryan who were waiting for them in the lobby.

"Sure, you are," Castle called after her, laughing.

She turned around and stuck her tongue out, but then couldn't hide her grin any longer.

"Let's go. We've got work to do," she said to all three men and together they made their way back to the precinct.

* * *

**TBC**


	17. Chapter 17

_**AN: Thanks for the lovely reviews for the last chapter. I'm glad you are still enjoying this version of them. I included two things in this chapter that I have been asked for a couple of times when I started the sequel. I hope you like it.**_

* * *

"We're home," Rick announced as Kate and he came through the front door after finishing up at the precinct for the day.

"Daddy," Ellie scrambled down from the couch and hurried toward her dad, who picked her up with an amused smile on his lips.

"What's up?", he asked.

"You got free!", the youngster exclaimed excitedly.

"Uhm," Castle chanced a look at Kate who gave him a curious look. Her detecting skills already setting in. Castle swore she had a sixth sense when it came to finding out about his shenanigans.

"Free?", she prompted as if on cue.

"We taped Dad to a chair this morning," Jamie explained, not even looking up from the book she was reading on the couch. "For the new chapter."

Castle sputtered, gasped a bit for show and then hissed, "Traitors."

Kate laughed and patted his shoulder before making her way over to the kitchen where Martha was dishing up dinner, "You know they always turn on you."

"Yeah, because you girls always stick together. It's unfair. I'm always outnumbered."

"Ah poor baby," Kate teased him, sharing a smirk with her mother-in-law. "Find Oliver, maybe you'll feel less outnumbered then."

"Haha," he pouted, setting Ellie back down on the floor before joining his mother and wife in the kitchen. "Where are the two troublemakers anyway?"

"Sleeping in your office," his mother replied. "The girls wore them out. How was work today?"

"We ran into one of Rick's exes," Kate told his mother and Rick cringed. He should have known that Kyra would be brought up again.

"Oh," Martha raised one eyebrow. "Which one?"

"Kyra," Castle sighed, knowing there was no use in trying to delay the inevitable.

"Ohhhh," Martha added a second eyebrow. "Kyra. How is she?"

"Getting married, that is once we found the murderer of on of her bridesmaids," Rick said.

"And that delightful mother of hers?", Martha asked, her tone revealing what she really thought about the woman.

"Still the same," Castle rolled his eyes, but lightened up when he felt Kate squeeze his arm.

"Who's Kyra?", Jamie asked, suddenly appearing beside her dad and the girl had obviously listened to at least part of their conversation.

"An ex-girlfriend of your dad's," her grandmother replied and Jamie looked up at her dad with questioning eyes.

"A long time ago," he elaborated. "Long before I met your mom."

Jamie seemed to accept that but she wouldn't be her father's daughter if her interest hadn't been awoken. "Is she in trouble?", the girl asked, now looking to her mom.

"No, she is not in trouble," Kate shook her head. "There was a murder at the hotel where she's having her wedding and that's why your dad and I ran into her." Kate kept her answer vague. She didn't like to talk about work at home especially not when the girls where around, but she also knew that at least Jamie and Alexis were old enough to know what her job involved that she couldn't keep it all from them. Speaking of her two oldest she realized that Alexis was nowhere to be seen. "Where's Alexis?"

"She's at Paige's," Martha informed her, "but she said she'd be back at nine. They needed to go over their history project or something."

"Mom?", Jamie asked. "Can we eat?"

"If you and your dad help set the table, we're good to go," she said, helping Martha to put the finishing touches to their dinner.

"Come on," Rick took the plates but nudged Jamie toward the couch. "You'll get your sister. I'll take care of the rest."

* * *

Kate and Rick had put the girls to bed, had said goodnight to Alexis who had come home an hour ago and were now getting ready for bed as Kate studied her husband who seemed to be deep in thought.

"Something on your mind?", she finally asked while turning down the bed.

"I wonder if she's happy," Castle said, plopping down on the bed.

"Who?", Kate looked down at him confused.

"Kyra," he clarified.

"Oh," she replied, before climbing onto the bed as well. "What makes you think she's not?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "Something about the way she looked when I talked about us. She looked like she's craving this kind of connection as well, not like someone who has already found it."

"I don't know Castle," Kate moved over to lay on his chest, one hand creeping under his shirt to caress the skin beneath it. "Don't you think it's normal to feel a bit out of it, after the day she had?"

He thought about it and finally nodded, "I guess you're right."

"Besides I don't know what else you two talked about but if you told her about _our_ wedding it doesn't surprise me when she feels a bit down," Kate grinned.

"Why?", Castle frowned, not catching up as quickly as usual.

"Because," she said, her smile growing bigger as she placed a kiss against his lip, "our wedding was perfect."

He grinned from ear to ear, "That it was. You looked so beautiful."

She blushed, "Can you imagine it's been almost five years?"

He shook his head, "I remember it like it was yesterday."

* * *

_**May 22**__**nd**__** 2004 – Castle residence Hamptons**_

"_Dad, stop fidgeting," Alexis scolded as she tried for the fourth time to bind his bow tie._

"_Sorry," he sighed. "Have you seen her?"_

_Alexis rolled her eyes. This was the third time her father asked this question, "She is downstairs getting ready with grams and Lanie," Alexis replied also for the third time but with less patience. "You have to relax Dad."_

"_Easy for you to say," he muttered._

"_Hey Daddy," Jamie shoved through the door coming to stand next to her sister. "Mommy 's ready."_

"_Okay," he nodded. "How do I look?"_

_Alexis and Jamie gave him a careful once over and then both nodded._

"_You look very handsome," Alexis reassured him._

"_Yep," Jamie agreed, twirling around in her light blue dress. _

"_So you have the flowers?", her older sister asked and Jamie stopped dead in her tracks, giving Alexis a wide eyed stare. _

"_Oh no," she shook her head. _

"_Then go and get them real quick," Alexis told her, "we have to get going."_

"_Oookay," Jamie nodded and hurried down the hallway._

"_We'll meet you downstairs," Alexis called after her and then turned toward her dad. "You ready?"_

"_Yeah," he nodded and smiled brightly. "More than ready."_

"_Then let's go," Alexis grinned._

* * *

_He was nervously swaying from side to side, his eyes focused on the end of the aisle where any second now his Kate should walk toward him. Jamie was already in position with her flower basket and Alexis would shortly join her with the rings. The weather was just perfect for an outdoor wedding in the Hamptons and he was very glad that they had opted for this intimate version of their wedding, rather than the big publicity event Black Pawn had wanted._

_His mother was giving him a reassuring look from her seat in the front row, but he couldn't stop his heart from hammering. He was marrying the love of his life today and he couldn't say 'I do' quickly enough._

_And then the music started and there she was, looking breathtakingly beautiful in her mother's dress as she walked toward him on her father's arm. Jamie started throwing the flowers, looking up at her sister for approval and Alexis gave her an encouraging nod as they all made their way down the aisle toward him._

_He only had eyes for Kate though, who was beaming at him and he suddenly felt a lump in his throat. This was what he had always dreamed of, this family before him and today they were finally making it official. _

_Jamie was the first to arrive before him and showed him her empty flower basket. He bent down to give her quick kiss on the top of her head, "Great job, Baby Bird," he smiled. "Now go and stand with Aunt Lanie, okay?"_

_Jamie nodded and skipped over to take her mother's bridesmaid's hand, while Rick kissed Alexis on the cheek making sure she had the ring before she went to stand next to Ryan and Espo, his groomsmen. His two girls looked lovely in their light blue dresses which showed off the color of their eyes and Lanie had done their hair so that they both had wavy curls that danced around their smiling faces._

_And then she was right in front of him, her eyes sparkling and all Castle could get out was, "Hi."_

"_Hey," she grinned back at him, both ignoring her father who was still holding onto her arm until Jim cleared his throat and snapped them both out of their bubble._

"_Sorry Jim," Rick blushed, but his soon to be father-in-law shook his head, instead engulfing Rick in a hug. _

"_I know you'll take good care of them, son," the older man said. "You already do. And I couldn't be prouder that she chose you."_

_Rick swallowed hard, his eyes gleaming with tears, "Thank you, Jim."_

_Kate's father nodded and then turned toward his daughter, "I know he makes you happy, so I'll just say that I love you very much and that I'm wishing the two of you all the happiness in the world. God knows you deserve it."_

"_Thank you Dad. I love you too," Kate sniffed, wrapping her arms around her father before he let her go and she stepped up to take Rick's hand._

"_You look so beautiful," he whispered into her ear as they stepped in front of the official who would be performing the ceremony, but they weren't really paying attention to what was said, only having eyes for one another and Castle could basically feel Espo rolling his eyes behind him._

_But then they were asked to give their vows and Castle nervously reached for Kate's other hand so that he was holding both of hers in his._

_Taking a deep breath he felt her giving his hands a light squeeze and that was all the encouragement he needed._

"_Kate, I love you so much - I love our family so much," he started and took another deep breath. "When I met you four years ago I had no idea that we would be here today, __**but**__ – our first meeting planted a seed that kept growing with every minute I spent with you and it didn't take long until I longed for more, until I dreamed of this. I was lost and you found me and made me a better man. You made me dream of things I had given up on and you gave me the greatest gift in the world a man could ask for. Our daughter. Alexis' sister. And there's nothing that makes me prouder in this world than being called 'Daddy' by these two perfect girls __**but**__ you being their 'Mommy'," a tear ran down his face and his voice broke when he looked at Alexis before he went on. "The way you cared for Alexis from the very first day, before you even met her, the way you love her as your own takes my breath away every single day. You're the most wonderful mom and woman we could ever asked for. I'm so glad we found each other and I promise I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you are today. I love you."_

_Kate reached up to wipe away his tears while her own fell freely, but before he could return the favor Jamie scurried up them, looking concerned at her emotional parents._

"_Daddy?", she asked full of worry and Castle laughed as he picked her up._

"_Everything is fine, Baby Bird. Mommy and Daddy are just very happy," he explained and Jamie's mouth formed a big 'oh', not quite understanding any yet sensing that she didn't need to worry._

_Kate laughed as well and held her hand out to Alexis to join them as she started to speak, "Rick, loving you is so easy," she started, then placed a kiss on top of Alexis' head, "loving Alexis is even easier and I'm very honored that I'm allowed to be her mom. I'm not as good with words as you are, but I want you to know that there is no place I'd rather be and no one I'd rather have at my side than you. In so many ways you have saved me, especially from myself and I'm never happier than when I'm with you and our girls. I love you so much and I can't wait what comes next for us. I love you."_

_This time it was Jamie who leant out of her father's arms to wipe away a tear on her mother's face and if they were paying attention to their surrounding they would have realized that there was not a dry eye around them, even though Espo later swore he had a fly in his eye. _

_The official asked for the rings and Alexis proudly handed them over to her parents, who couldn't stop grinning as they exchanged the rings and then finally were announced husband and wife. And then finally Rick was allowed to kiss his wife. Handing Jamie over to Lanie, Castle grabbed Kate and slanted his lips over hers amidst the cheering of their guests and daughters._

_The party that followed would later be called legendary and Kate and Rick hardly had time to take all of it in between all the dancing, eating and celebrating. Rick had danced with Alexis and Jamie, Jamie standing on his feet as they did and now the little girl was slowly dozing off in her grandpa's arms as he swayed them around the floor. Martha was keeping Espo and Ryan on their tows while Lanie seemed to have had one glass of wine too many and Kate watched it all with brightest smile._

_It was a small wedding party, only family and their closest friends along with Montgomery and his wife and all their guests would be staying at the house with them tonight. They had a brunch planned for all of them the next day and then Kate and Rick would leave for their honeymoon, leaving the girls in their grandparents' hands for a week. _

_Kate sat at their table, letting her eyes wander over the dance floor, while Rick was dancing with Evelyn Montgomery, when she saw Alexis sitting down at the opposite end of the floor with a glass that looked suspiciously like it was filled with Coke in her hand. Alexis obviously would be up for a while longer._

_Standing up, Kate walked over sitting down next to her, "Hey Pumpkin, you're having a good time?", Kate asked._

_Alexis grinned up at her and nodded, "It's so way past my bedtime," she whispered as if she feared saying out loud would ruin the night._

"_I think it's safe to say that tonight it's allowed to make an exception, don't you think?", Kate smiled, placing her arm around Alexis as she saw her father walking over to them._

"_She's out like a light," Jim grinned, nodding at Jamie who was fast asleep in his arms. "I'm gonna put her down."_

"_Thanks Dad," Kate smiled, leaning forward to place a kiss against her girl's brown curls and whispered, "Night Baby Bird."_

"_Kate?", Alexis asked after they had watched the other guests for a while._

"_Mmmh?"_

"_You're my step-mom now, right? I mean officially," the girl looked up at her and Kate frowned._

"_I guess," Kate nodded, "though step-mom always sounds so mean."_

"_You're not mean," Alexis immediately objected._

"_That's good to know," Kate smiled warmly. "But that's not what you wanted to ask me, is it?"_

"_No," the girl shook her head._

"_So?", Kate prodded._

"_I was just wondering – uhm – I mean you said you're proud to be my mom …," she trailed off._

"_I am Alexis," Kate confirmed, turning the girl so she was looking at her, "what is it? You can ask me anything. You know that."_

"_Can I call you Mom?", Alexis finally got out. "I mean I know I have a mother and it's not like I want to forget her or something, but she's never around and …," Kate pressed her finger to the girl's lips, tears shining in her eyes._

"_Alexis, Honey, I would be so honored and so happy if you'd call me Mom." She and Rick had already talked about this and decided that it was up to Alexis if she wanted to call Kate 'Mom', even though Meredith was still around, if rather occasionally. But Rick knew that Alexis sometimes struggled to introduce Kate and that his girl was longing to just be able to introduce Kate as her mother. But he also felt that it was something Kate and Alexis had to deal with themselves, to approach this topic in their own time and so he hadn't interfered._

"_Really?", Alexis eyes were wide as she looked up at Kate._

"_Of course, Pumpkin, I love you so much," she pulled Alexis into her arms and then whispered into her ear, "This is the best wedding present ever."_

"_I love you too, Mom," Alexis replied and Kate's heart almost burst with happiness. _

_Castle watched them from the bar, not wanting to disturb their moment. He would ask Kate later what their talk had been about._

* * *

"Alexis called you Mom from that day on," Castle sighed happily.

"Yeah," Kate smiled. "It was the perfect day."

Rick pressed a kiss to the top of Kate's head, pulling the covers a bit higher, "Let's get some sleep. We have an early start tomorrow."

He felt her nod and heard her mumble, "Love you," before they both fell asleep in each others arms.

* * *

**TBC**


	18. Chapter 18

_**AN: I apologize for the wait. This one didn't want to come along. I don't like case stuff too much. Even it's old stuff. I have the feeling I overlooked a lot of misspellings, even after checking four times so I apologize for that as well. ;-) Next up Sucker Punch.**_

* * *

The next morning Kate got a call from Lanie, asking her to meet at the morgue, leaving Castle alone with their crazy early morning routine. At least it was Sunday he thought as he made his way into the kitchen to get breakfast started and Alexis was always happy to help out with her younger sisters on the weekends. The two younger Castle girls were usually listening better to her big sister anyway.

"Hey Dad," Alexis greeted him seconds later as she came rushing down the stairs, heading straight for the coat closet.

"Hey Pumpkin," Castle frowned. "Where are you going?"

"I'm having breakfast at Page's and then we will work on our history project," she explained, pulling her jacket on.

"But," Castle stuttered. "It's Sunday."

"I know, but I asked Mom and she said it was okay," Alexis said, rushing over to give her dad a kiss on the cheek. "See you later."

"Yeah," Castle nodded dumbly, watching Alexis close the door behind her. "So much for a little help," he mumbled to himself before returning to his breakfast preparations, listening for any upstairs tumults, but for now Jamie and Ellie appeared to be still asleep.

* * *

Beckett made her way into the morgue, greeting her friend with a simple, "Hey," her eyes already fixed on the body of the victim.

"Hey," Lanie replied.

"You called," Kate stated, "very early for a Sunday I might add."

"Yes. Sorry about that but I thought you wanted to know right away. I found traces of metal in the abrasions on Sophie's back."

"What kind of metal?", Beckett asked.

"I have no idea, but I sent a sample over to the FBI lab to see if they can narrow down the chemical signature. We should have the results tomorrow," Lanie explained.

Kate frowned. Surely Lanie could have told her this on the phone, but Kate chose to ignore this fact for now.

"If I find the object that made the wounds, you'll be able to match it?"

"Absolutely," Lanie confirmed.

"Okay, great. Anything else?", Kate questioned.

"You tell me," Lanie smirked, raising one eyebrow at her friend.

"What?", Kate shrugged.

"Don't _what_ me. Castle's lost love," Lanie prodded but Kate just laughed.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Girl, I'm gonna smack you. Doesn't it bother you at all that he ran into his ex?", Lanie asked. "You told me they have a rather serious history."

"Exactly, _history_," Kate emphasized. "Besides she seems really nice."

"Oh puh-lease," Lanie rolled her eyes. "Don't be so reasonable about it."

"What do you want me to say Lanie?", Kate sighed. "He's with me. We have three daughters. I trust him. So if he wants to catch up with an old friend, who am I to deny that?"

"You're no fun," Lanie grumbled, not getting the juicy kind of gossip she had hoped for.

"No," Kate shook her head amused. "I'm just happily married."

"Yeah, yeah," Lanie muttered and watched Kate head through the door before she called after her, "You're still no fun."

"Shut up," Kate called back from the hallway, shaking her head in amusement as she head for the elevator.

* * *

When Kate walked into the bullpen twenty minutes later she found Ryan and Esposito deep into one of Castle's books.

"There's a lot of detail in this love scene," Espo said, hearing Ryan hum in agreement.

"Aren't you guys suppose to run background checks?", Kate asked as she dumped her bag under her desk.

"We are," Espo protested.

"On the bride. All day yesterday," Ryan joined in, "I kept feeling like I'd heard the name Kyra Blaine before. And then it hits me. The dedication of Castle's second book, _A Rose For Everafter_."

"For Kyra Blaine, you make the stars shine," Espo quoted with a smirk.

"When I'm not here, do you guys braid each other's hair and debate who's the coolest Jonas brother?", Kate questioned as she rolled her eyes. First Lanie and now Ryan and Espo were trying to get a rise out of her as well.

"No. But it's totally Nick," Espo said.

"Absolutely Nick," Ryan confirmed, causing Beckett to roll her eyes once more and while her partners kept arguing who the cutest Jonas brother was she went over to the murder board to add what she had learned from Lanie to the timeline. It was then that an idea popped into her head, but before she could share it with the boys her phone rang.

"Mike's keycard," her husband said into the receiver without greeting, obviously having had the same train of thought as his wife. "If he was passed out in the supply closet. Who used his card?"

"I was just thinking the same," Kate chuckled.

After explaining to the boys about the keycard with Castle on speaker Kate took Ryan with her to check out Mike's room once more only to find out that the room next to Mike's belonged to Greg. Kyra's fiancé.

What followed was an interrogation that ended with Greg not giving them much to believe his side of the story but since Beckett and the boys couldn't come up with any compelling evidence against him they had to let him walk.

* * *

"So he says he thought it was Kyra and when he realized it actually was Sophie shoving her hand down his pants he threw her out?", Castle asked on the phone while he was trying to keep an eye on Jamie and Ellie on the playground. "And since he had an affair with her before he met Kyra he didn't say anything because he feared how it would look?"

"Basically," Kate replied, biting into the sandwich Espo had brought for her.

"And you believe him?", Castle sounded irritated.

"Not necessarily, but I don't have enough evidence to keep him," Kate replied, knowing her husband wouldn't like what she would say next, "Plus you know, there is the possibility that Kyra killed Sophie."

"You gotta be kidding me," Castle growled into the phone.

"Castle," she sighed. "You know I have to follow every possible lead."

"She didn't do it Kate," he replied, clearly agitated.

"How can you be so sure? If it was anybody else you would be all over the possibility," Beckett stated, getting slightly annoyed herself.

"But she's not just anybody," he hissed.

"You haven't seen her in years."

"Doesn't matter. I know her."

He was met with silence from the other end of the line and sighed.

"I'm sorry, that didn't come out right," he apologized. "I know you have to do your job. It's just hard to imagine she might have changed so much."

"Look Castle, I'm not saying she did. Change that is. And right now we have no reason to believe she's involved in any way. I just want you to be prepared if we need to go down that direction."

"I know," he sighed again.

"Anyway," Kate changed the subject. "What are you and the girls up to?"

"We're at the park. The weather wasn't too bad when we headed out, but it's getting cold so I think we might head back to the loft soon."

"That sounds like fun," Kate smiled.

"Did you forget to tell me that Alexis was having breakfast with Page this morning?", Castle asked as he got up from the bench he was sitting on to get Jamie and Ellie.

"No, I did not," his wife sounded amused. "I told you on Thursday."

"You did not," he protested.

"Did too," Kate giggled. "I might admit that you were a little preoccupied."

"Ahh," he nodded knowingly. "I see."

"Why?", Kate asked. "Was there a problem this morning?"

"No no," he shook his head. "I was just surprised."

"Okay," Kate replied and then he could hear someone talk to her in the background. "Babe, I gotta go. See you tonight."

"Bye," Castle got out before his wife had disconnected the call and he called Jamie and Ellie over to get them home.

* * *

"I'm home," Kate called out when she came through the front door at a reasonable time that evening, yet still after dinner. She didn't like missing out on family dinners, especially on Sundays but tonight it couldn't be helped.

"Mommy," Ellie came flying toward her with a big grin on her face.

"Hey Buttercup," Kate greeted her youngest, spinning her around before setting her back on her feet. "Where are your sisters and Daddy?"

"Shhhh," Ellie placed a finger against her lips. "Hiding."

"Oh," Kate nodded in understanding. "You gotta find them?"

"Yeah," Ellie nodded eagerly.

"Want some help?" Kate asked, crouching down next to her daughter.

The girl nodded again and then pulled her mother with her toward her dad's office.

In the end they found the rest of their family hiding and giggling in the bathtub.

"Gotcha," Ellie squealed in delight and scrambled on top of them with a little help from her mom.

"Good job Ellie," Rick laughed, trying to get up from under his daughters as he asked Kate if she was hungry. "We have leftovers in the fridge. Want me to heat some up for you?"

"Yes please," Kate nodded. "I'll just go and get changed."

"Can Alexis read us a story?", Jamie asked as she hopped out of the tub after her dad.

"Well if she wants to?", Kate replied. "You gotta asked her."

"Lexi?", Jamie turned to her sister who already had Ellie on her arm, stepping out of the tub as well.

"Sure Troublemaker, go ahead and pick one," Alexis grinned and followed Jamie out of the bathroom.

"I'll come up in a little while and say goodnight," Kate called after them, before she stepped into the bedroom

to grab a pair of leggings and one of Castle's sweaters. She was just making her way through the office to join Castle in the kitchen when the phone rang.

"Beckett," she answered still in precinct mode but was met with silence. "Hello?"

"Uhm Kate?", a female voice, she didn't recognized asked.

"This is she," Kate confirmed.

"It's Kyra, Kyra Blane."

"Oh," Kate replied, before there was an awkward silence until Kyra chuckled nervously and asked.

"Is everyone's wedding like this?"

"Kyra," Kate sighed. "I don't think that -."

"No you're right. I shouldn't have called. I'm sorry," Kyra interrupted her. "I'm gonna -."

"Kyra," Kate stopped her from hanging up. "Do you want to talk to Rick?"

"No … I really should -," Kyra stuttered, but Kate was already on her way into the kitchen.

"It's okay Kyra, really," Kate reassured her husband's ex-girlfriend.

"You sure?", Kyra asked tentatively.

"I'm sure," Kate confirmed, before handing the phone over to her husband. "It's for you."

* * *

"How's she doing?", Kate asked when Castle hung up the phone. He hadn't gone far and Kate had heard his end of the conversation while he sat in the living room.

"She's confused," Castle sighed sitting down next to her at the kitchen counter where Kate had just finished her dinner. "Greg told her about him and Sophie."

"That can't be easy even if it was before they got together," Kate nodded in understanding.

"Thanks for letting me talk to her," Castle said sincerely.

Kate huffed, "You hardly need my permission."

"I know. Still, it means a lot. Your trust. I'm sure other women wouldn't be so understanding. Thank you."

"I'm not other women," she winked, tracing a finger down his cheek, "and if Kyra needed to talk to an old friend to feel a bit better I'm not going to stand in the way of that. And as I said, she seems to be nice," Kate smiled as she pulled him up, "Come on. Lets get the girls to bed."

"You're extraordinary," he grinned as he followed her up the stairs.

xoxox

They solved the case the next day after following a money trail that finally led to a video of Sophie and Ted Murphy, Greg's uncle, who had access to a trust fund Greg would have been given on his wedding day. After losing all of his own money Ted Murphy had been graciously taking money from the trust fund, money which he wasn't able to replace once he heard of Greg's engagement. So he had thought of a way to sabotage the wedding by paying Sophie to seduce the groom. What uncle Teddy hadn't counted on was that Greg was an honest and faithful man who was in love with his wife to be and had thrown Sophie out after she had made it into his room. When Sophie then threatened to come clean about their act, Ted had killed her.

Kate was sitting at her desk while Castle and Kyra talked in the conference room. Castle had wanted to be the one to show Kyra the video of Greg and Sophie that showed clearly that Greg had not in the slightest been tempted to accept Sophie's offer and when Kate glanced over Kyra was smiling from ear to ear as she stood up and placed a kiss against Castle's cheek before she headed for the conference room door.

"Kate?", Kyra stopped in front of Beckett's desk.

"Hey Kyra," Kate looked up from her paperwork.

"I was wondering if you and Rick would like to come to our wedding tomorrow," Kyra asked with a nervous smile. "It's gonna be a lot smaller than originally planed, but you both have been so nice over the past days. It would really mean a lot to me and Greg."

Kate glanced over at Castle who was standing in the doorway of the conference room, giving her a shrug which silently said it was up to her.

"It's gonna be in the afternoon, so you can bring the kids if you want to," Kyra added with a hopeful look.

"Oh, okay," Kate nodded finally. "Thank you."

"Great," Kyra beamed. "See you tomorrow then."

* * *

"You know," Castle mumbled into Kate's ear as he leant into her while they watched Ellie and Jamie chase around the ballroom. Alexis hadn't wanted to come, having already made plans with friends for the afternoon and so only the two youngest Castle girls were keeping everyone else on theirs toes. But Kyra had said that she didn't mind that Ellie and Jamie were transforming the venue into their own personal playground. It's a good thing she had been smitten with the girls the second they walked in.

"What?", Kate asked, turning Kyra's bouquet in her hands. She couldn't believe she had been the one to catch it.

"I'd married you again in a heart beat," Castle replied, nuzzling her ear.

"Yeah?", she grinned.

"Yeah," Castle nodded, pulling her up to join Kyra and Greg on the dance floor.

* * *

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

_**AN: In this universe Castle did not look into Johanna Beckett's case behind Kate's back. Therefore some things are slightly altered. I hope you enjoy this version of Sucker Punch.**_

* * *

He hadn't been able to shake the bad feeling ever since they caught this case. Now, watching his wife deflate in front of him with tears in her eyes as she tried to make sense of what her best friend was telling her, he knew why.

„Lanie?", Beckett whispered, trying to will away the words she knew would come anyway.

"I'm so sorry," Lanie squeezed her friend's hand in support as Dr. Murray very gently laid out the truth they all already knew.

"Detective Beckett, there is no doubt in my mind that Jack Coonan was killed by the same man who murdered your mother."

Beckett started at the model of the blade that Dr. Murray had placed on the table in front of her and then she was up and out of the room before anyone could stop her.

Lanie jumped up, trying to go after her best friend but Castle haltered her attempt.

"I got this," he told her gently, placing a hand on Lanie's shoulder not wanting her to feel guilty for what she had uncovered. She did the right thing by telling them, but his wife would need some time to process everything.

He caught up to Kate just as she disappeared into the staircase, brushing furiously at the tears that were running down her face. She startled when she felt him step up behind her, but the second she realized it was him she was in his arms, sobbing desperately.

He didn't say anything, just held her close as she grieved once more for what was lost to her, to them. They had talked about pursuing her mother's case. Not too long after they had found each other again all those years ago and then again before she got pregnant with Ellie and her answer had always been the same. _Not now. _

She had looked into her mother's case file shortly after she had been assigned to the 12th precinct, but when she had found that there was nothing in it. No new clues, no overlooked witnesses and no leads to pursue, just sad memories, she knew she had to make a decision. Be the best possible mom to her _own_ daughter she could be or get lost in her mother's case and loose everything. Her daughter and herself. She had chosen their child back than and she had chosen their family when he had brought it up again later.

He wasn't sure it would be so easy this time.

"I'm gonna take you home," he mumbled into her ear, when he felt she was slowly regaining her composure. "We don't have to decide anything right now."

He felt her nod against his chest, before taking a deep breath and taking a step back to look up at him. "I need to call my dad."

"Home first," he insisted, giving her a final nod to make sure she was okay to go back into the bullpen.

She followed and let him do the talking, testament to her state of mind and simply stood by while Rick reassured Lanie that they would call her later, thanked Dr. Murray and informed Montgomery that Beckett needed the rest of the day off. No one protested and Castle had her out of the precinct and in a cab in no time.

* * *

When they arrived at the loft it was quiet and Kate gave her husband a questioning look. She had expected the girls to be home with Alexis.

"I called Cynthia and asked her to take Ellie and Jamie for the afternoon. Alexis is with Paige," he explained and Kate nodded in relief. She needed to put herself back together before she could face her daughters, the last thing she wanted was to scare them.

"I bet they're over the moon," she managed to smile though it worried her that she had been so out of it on their way home that she hadn't noticed her husband making all these arrangements. The girls didn't get to see Jamie's old babysitter nearly as often as they would like. They still relied on Cynthia from time to time, but not as often as they used to in the beginning when Jamie was still little.

"She said to take as much time as we need. She doesn't have any other plans today," he said as he moved them both to the couch to sit down.

Kate nodded, "I need to call my dad."

"Okay," he replied, moving to get up to give her some space, but she held onto him, pulling him back down to her side as she pulled out her phone.

She didn't let go of his hand even as she dialed her father's number and he squeezed it in return to show his support and sat back down at her side as she waited for her dad to pick up.

"Hey Dad," Kate said quietly when he finally did.

"Katie, what's wrong," her dad immediately asked, picking up on her tone.

She sighed, taking a deep breath, "It's about Mom."

She refrained form explaining what had happened in detail, instead asking her father to come over which he immediately agreed to and when she hung up, she gave Castle a week smile, "He's on his way over."

"Okay," Castle nodded, pressing a kiss against the top of her head. "Do you want some coffee while we wait?"

"Yes, please," she replied watching him head to the kitchen as she got lost in her own head again.

What did she want to do? This was the first new development in 10 years in her mother's case, could she really step away from it, leave it alone for another decade? She wasn't sure. But she had to think about her family, her daughters and Castle. They needed to come first, no matter what and still she could feel the pull of the case, of the chance to finally get to the person who took her mother away from her and her dad. To finally put it to rest.

* * *

When she heard the knock on the door Castle was already halfway through the living room to welcome Jim Beckett who shot his son-in-law a worried look.

"Hey Jim," Castle forced a smile onto his lips. "Come on in."

"Hey Dad," Kate, who had made her way to the front door, greeted her dad as well and found herself wrapped up in his arms.

"You have me worried Katie. What is wrong?", Jim Beckett asked studying his daughter's unusual pale face.

"Come on, lets sit," Kate tugged her father along, while Castle produced another cup of coffee for Jim, before he joined them, regaining his place at her side.

"You have found something? Don't you?", her father asked, looking from his daughter to her husband.

"We don't know yet," Kate replied, feeling Castle move closer to her, his arm wrapping around her back.

"But enough to scare you?", Jim half asked, half stated.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I don't know what to do."

"You know that I don't have any expectations, Katie. I know we both want closure but not at the cost of your happiness or the girls'. You have to do what feels right to you," her father said, leaning over and giving her knee a light squeeze. "But your mother always said that life never delivers anything that we can't handle; she lived by that. Called it 'Johanna's immutable law of the universe.' And for years I thought she was wrong because I couldn't handle losing her. Now I can almost hear her whisper, 'I told you so.'"

"Four of Mom's favorite words," Kate smiled.

"Look, she was a devout believer in the truth, and if she were here right now she'd tell you the truth can never hurt you. Now this may be your mother's way of reaching out to you, Katie, and reminding you that the truth is still your weapon to wield, not theirs, but you have to decide what feels right to you. I'll support you, either way. As I'm sure Rick will do as well."

"Whatever you decide Kate," Rick agreed.

"What do _you_ think," Kate turned to her husband.

"This is up to you," Castle replied wearily.

"I know, but I want to know what you think," she insisted.

He took a deep breath, glancing at Jim who gave him an encouraging nod, "I think we should look into it. Your mother and all the other victims deserve justice and y_ou _deserve the truth."

"So we're doing this?", she asked and Castle shrugged.

"Only if it's what you want."

"I think do."

"Then we have to break Johnny Vong," Castle said, standing up and pulling her to her side.

"Now?", Kate asked, still a little unsure of the latest developments.

"Sure now, unless you want to leave it until tomorrow," Castle frowned.

"No, but what about the girls?", she looked at him. "This might take a while." And she wanted him with her, even though she didn't say it out loud.

"They're okay with Cynthia at least until dinner and maybe Jim could pick them up if we need longer?", Castle looked over at his father in law, who nodded eagerly.

"Of course, don't worry about it. I can make dinner, put them to bed whatever you need," Jim confirmed.

"Thanks Dad," Kate hugged him, squeezing him a bit tighter than usual.

"You got this," he whispered into his daughter's ear.

"Alexis should be home around six," Castle said as he grabbed their coats. "But I'll let her know you're here so she might come home early."

"Oh?", Jim looked surprised.

"She's been desperate to play chess with you, so if she hears that she can have you to herself for an hour or two she might fly home," Castle smiled warmly as he saw Jim lightening up at his words. Kate's father and Alexis had a very special bond. The two could talk for hours, spending a lot of Sundays at the museum or the library and Jim had even taken Alexis fishing last summer and much to everyone's surprise the teenager had loved it.

"Tell her I'll be here, but I don't want her to feel like I need to be entertained. If she wants to stay at Paige's I can find something to do," Jim made sure and Kate rolled her eyes.

"Dad, no home improvement session this time," she warned him.

"What?", he shrugged innocently, "You're cabinet doors were squeaking."

"Dad."

"Alright, alright," he raised his hands in surrender. "I'll read a book."

"Thank you," she sighed, giving him another hug. "We'll keep you updated."

"I love you Katie."

"I love you too, Dad."

* * *

TBC

Thank you for your continued support for this story especially for the last chapter. I feared more people would complain about the _dramaless_ route I chose, when in fact I only received one review that said I should have made Kate more jealous.

Actually the first version of the last chapter was different, but it didn't feel right to me. This version of Kate and Rick at this point of the story are absolutely sure of each other, plus Kate knew about Kyra. Knew that she once was very important to Castle. Kyra is not a mystery Castle kept from his wife. Plus I just don't see Kyra act like on the show when she knows Castle is happily married. As Kate said, she's real and she would have respected a married Castle.

I didn't want to create drama at this point in the story when it would have felt artificial and untrue to the characters. There's much more opportunity for drama in the future.

Thanks for reading.


	20. 20 A Life to Remember

_**AN: I'm sorry for the long wait. It just wasn't possible for me to update sooner.**_

* * *

Just as Castle had predicted Alexis came rushing through the front door only half an hour after her parents had left for the precinct to deal with Vong.

"Grandpa?", she called out, finding the man in question lying on the carpet with Sookie and Oliver climbing all over of him.

"Hi Alexis," Jim greeted his granddaughter with a laugh, "they attacked me out of nowhere."

"Sure they did," Alexis grinned, hanging her coat up before joining her granddad in the living room.

"You really didn't need to rush home just for me," Jim said as he carefully sat the kittens down and got up. "I would have been fine on my own for a while."

"I know," Alexis grinned, "but I wanted to. I thought we could play some chess without Jamie and Ellie interrupting all the time."

Jim's face lit up even more, "I'd love to."

"Great," Alexis beamed. "I'll set the board up."

"And I'll make some hot chocolate," Jim replied, making his way into the kitchen while Alexis went into her father's office to get the chess board.

"Did something come up at the precinct?", Alexis asked when Jim joined her with two steaming cups. "Dad was rather cryptic as to why he and mom needed to work longer."

Jim Beckett faltered, giving his oldest granddaughter an odd look before he caught himself and placed a smile on his face that looked rather forced, something that Alexis immediately recognized.

"Did something happen?", she asked, now worried. "Are they okay?"

"Your parents are okay Alexis," Jim reassured the girl, placing the two cups of hot cocoa next to the chess board. "It's about a case. You can ask them about it when they get back, okay?"

"They're really okay?", Alexis asked again.

"I promise," Jim replied, though he wasn't sure if he was telling the girl the truth. He could just hope for the best.

"Okay then," Alexis nodded.

Jim Beckett sighed relieved and set down on his side of the table, "So some chess to pass the time?"

Alexis nodded and sat down opposite of her granddad and then smirked, "I'm gonna crush you," she said evilly.

"Bring it on," Jim replied and made his first move.

* * *

At the precinct Beckett and Castle were facing a desperate Johnny Vong, who found himself stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Beckett had just informed him that since she had forgotten to read him his Miranda rights he was now free to go.

"No, I remember distinctly you read them to me. And I waived them all. You did. She did, you remember, right?", he looked at Castle for help who simply shrugged.

"Sorry, man, it's a rookie mistake," he apologized, following Beckett's example, who moved to stand up.

"What? No, wait, you can't, you can't do this," Vong cried. "If I walk out of here now he'll think I'm co-operating with the cops. I'll be dead by morning."

"Yes, you will. Or you can tell me who you're working for and I will protect you," Beckett said, placing her hands firmly on the top of the table.

Vong sighed, but realized he had no other choice, "Dick Coonan. I work for Dick."

Beckett gasped, "You're telling me Jack Coonan's brother is the drug trafficker?"

Vong knew he might as well keep talking now and so he laid it all out to them, "He comes off like Jimmy Carter, but it was a scam to funnel money to the warlords with the poppy fields. Sure, he'd build a few schools, so he had pictures for his donors, but most of the money funded his cartel."

Beckett nodded, "So he had access to all the dope he wanted; he just needed a way of getting it into the country."

"You couldn't get an aspirin from Kabul to New York without somebody knowing about it, since 9/11. All I had to let him do was package the drugs at my factory in Hong Kong. He'd pick up the dirty shipments once they'd cleared customs," Vong explained.

"And he had the Latin Kings put it on the street," Castle added. The picture becoming clearer and clearer.

"Perfect system," Vong agreed, "well, perfect until Trucho caught a case of the stupid and started selling in the Westies' territory."

"And then that's what brought Jack sniffing around. Jack threatened to give him to the feds unless he quit," Beckett concluded.

"So Dick killed his own brother?", Castle asked.

Vong shook his head, "Oh, no. Jack had been with the Westies a long time, he'd grown eyes in the back of his head. Dick hired a professional."

"What's his name?", Kate asked and felt her husband's hand on her leg, giving her a comforting squeeze, his movement obscured from Vong by the table.

"He called him Rathborne."

Beckett tried to keep her voice from shaking when she asked the next question. "How do I find him?"

Vong shrugged, "Ask Dick Coonan."

* * *

"Are you okay?", Castle asked worriedly when they stepped out of interrogation and back into the bullpen.

"I don't know," she sighed.

"Come on," he said, stirring her toward the staircase, while giving Espo a sign that they needed a minute.

"This could be it, Castle," she finally got out once they were away from prying eyes and ears. "Ten years since we came home and found that detective waiting for us. Ten years since we crossed that yellow tape and went into that alley and every time I cross the tape at a crime scene I think of that night."

"That's what makes you such a good cop," Castle said softly.

"What if I let her down," she asked, lifting her eyes to look at him.

"Kate," he sighed. "You could never let her down. I know she'd be proud of you, of everything you've become, everything you have accomplished. No matter what will happen next. You could never let her down."

"Okay," she nodded, some of the old spark returning. "Then lets get this bastard."

* * *

Two hours later Dick Coonan sat in the interrogation room, smirking as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"I have forensic accountants digging through your organization, Mr. Coonan. If there's evidence of heroin trafficking, they will find it. But that's not your biggest problem right now. Hiring an assassin like Rathborne shows premeditation, and that makes this a special circumstance case, which qualifies you for the needle. Now, I am willing to take the special circumstance allegations off the table - if you give me Rathborne," Beckett said. Her poker face firmly in place.

"The only special circumstance here, detective, is your complete lack of evidence against me," Coonan replied.

Beckett shrugged, "I have Johnny Vong."

"The guy with the phony accent, and the real estate scam. Is that the best you can do?"

"Are you really willing to bet your life that Vong can't hold his mud, Mr. Coonan? Give me the killer and I will put the DA in the mood for a second degree plea," Beckett went on seemingly unimpressed.

Coonan tilled his head, giving her a look that made Castle's blood boil as he watched from the observation room.

"When we first met, you told me you'd been on the other side of this, remember? Now could that be why you seem so eager to get your hands on this mysterious assassin? Because if I had to guess, I'd say that someone close to you was murdered and you think Rathborne had something to do with it. But I don't have to guess, do I? Because it's all over your face."

Castle's hands curled into tight fists and Montgomery who was watching beside him had to put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "She got this."

"I know," Castle replied gruffly, still he wanted to smash his fits into Coonan's face until the man's smirk disappeared.

"That still doesn't change the fact that you're guilty of murder," Beckett replied as cooly as she could muster under the circumstances. She knew she couldn't lose her temper. Coonan was baiting her and she had to stay on top of this if she wanted to get the answers she needed.

"Maybe not, but for the low low price of transactional immunity, I can give you the closure you've been seeking. You get Rathborne and I walk. And that, Detective, is my final offer."

* * *

"Do you think the DA will go for it?", Castle asked when they finally made their way home that evening.

"I don't know," Kate sighed. "But I guess we'll know first thing in the morning."

"Hey," he stopped her in front of their front door, before they could go inside. "You okay?"

She took a deep breath, then lifted her eyes to look at him, "No," she replied. "But I will be. Just stay close until this is over, okay?"

"Always," he replied, before pulling her in for a hug. After a minute she stepped back, giving him a grateful smile as she reached for his hand and together they stepped through the front door of their home and right into the arms of their oldest daughter.

"Mom, Dad, are you guys okay?", she asked, before Jim could stop her.

"Hey, Alexis," Kate wrapped her arms around the girl looking at her Dad over her head. "What's wrong?"

Jim Beckett shrugged apologetically, "She knew something was up, but I said it would be best if you two would explain everything."

"So something _is_ wrong," Alexis stated as she pulled back, her eyes flying from one parent to the other.

"Nothing is wrong, Pumpkin," Kate tried to reassure her daughter, guiding her over to the couch. "We'll talk to you and grandpa in a minute okay?"

"Mom?", Alexis' voice was shaking.

"I promise. I just want to check on your sisters and then Dad and I will explain everything, okay?", Kate cupped Alexis` cheek, giving her a reassuring smile.

"Okay," Alexis whispered, sitting down on the couch where Jim took a seat next to her. He was worried as well, though he knew a bit more about what was really going on.

"Jamie and Ellie should be fast asleep," he reassured his daughter nevertheless, before turning his attention to Alexis, while Rick disappeared into the kitchen.

"I'll get us something to drink," he called softly after his wife who was on her way upstairs to check on the two younger girls.

She nodded and he let her go on her own, knowing she probably needed a couple of minutes to herself. She returned sooner than he expected though, heading directly over to sit next to Alexis as Rick handed her a glass of water, joining them.

While Jim made room for Rick to sit at Alexis side Kate started, "You know what happened to my mom," she said, looking over at Castle who gave her an encouraging look and then waited for Alexis to nod before she went on, "It turned out that the case that we are currently working on has a connection to my mother's case."

"You mean you found ...?", Alexis asked with hopeful, yet fearful eyes.

"No," Kate shook her head. "At least not yet. But we have a strong lead and that's why we had to work longer today, too follow that lead.

"Are you in danger?", Alexis questioned and Castle pulled her into his side, pressing his cheek to the top of her head.

"No Pumpkin," he reassured her. "We're not in danger."

"You promise?"

"I promise." He just hoped it was true.

"You think, you can go to bed now and get some rest? It's getting late," Kate asked and Alexis nodded.

"Yeah, just promise to be careful."

"We will," Kate assured before kissing her daughter goodnight.

The three adults watched Alexis head up the stairs and when she was out of side Jim looked at his daughter and son-in-law and asked, "So what did you find?"

Rick and Kate stumbled into bed after filling Jim in, exhausted. Thankfully Jim had offered to look after the girls again tomorrow and so they would only have to deal with pre-school and pre-daycare duties and not worry about the girls' well being in the afternoon and evening and in return Kate had promised to keep her father in the loop during the day.

"Sleep Kate," Castle mumbled as he cuddled up behind her. "We'll know more tomorrow."

He felt her nod, before both drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Once the DA had agreed to the deal, they sat down with Coonan and his attorney, and this time Castle was at Kate's side, refusing to leave her.

"OK, here's the deal," Beckett said. "You're going to contact Rathborne with a contract on Vong. You are going to tell him that the police are taking him to the DA's office for a deposition and that he can't make it there alive."

Coonan shook his head, "It doesn't work like that. He wants his money up front. It's a hundred grand, non-negotiable."

"A hundred grand. The city is never going to agree to that," Kate gasped, seeing her only chance to find her mother's murder flying out the window.

"Look, you want to catch her killer. The price is a hundred grand," Coonan shrugged unimpressed.

"I can't just shoot that kind of money out into space without a hope of getting it back," Kate argued, feeling desperate.

"The city can't – but _we_ can, Kate," Castle looked up at her.

"Castle," Kate shook her head. She knew he always said it was _their_ money, but she had never felt comfortable with that. He was the big famous and rich author, her income was insignificant compared to his, but before she could decline Castle had already taken the decision out of her hands.

"Do we have a deal?", he asked Coonan's lawyer.

"We do. But my client's immunity kicks in the moment Rathborne accepts the contract. Once the wire transfer is complete."

Beckett nodded, "As soon as Rathborne takes the job, your part is done."

"And I walk," Coonan grinned.

"And you walk," Beckett replied, her face like stone. She didn't like it, but there wasn't anything she could do about it.

* * *

"I let her down," Kate sighed later that day, standing next to Castle in the break room after their set up had failed. Rathborne hadn't shown and they were back to nothing. She took a sip of the coffee Castle had made for her and started ahead.

"No, you didn't," Rick said sternly, but his wife huffed.

"Rathborne's in the wind, Dick Coonan's about to walk. I missed something," Kate contemplated.

"Could have been me. Rathborne could have checked the routing number and realized the money was coming from our account, not Dick's. I was arrogant," Castle replied.

"You weren't arrogant, Castle, besides I didn't think of it either, so stop blaming yourself. The fact that you gave a hundred grand for a shot at her killer," she shook her head and smiled. "I love you, you know."

"I love you too, but how often do I need to tell you, that it's our money?", he asked but Kate's mind was already elsewhere.

"Her killer," her eyes widened.

"What?", Castle frowned.

"Coonan said it was a hundred grand to catch _her_ killer," Beckett repeated.

"And you never told him it was your mother that was murdered," her husband was fast to catch on.

* * *

She had no idea how everything had gone south so quickly after that, all she knew was that the love of her life was held at gun point by Coonan and that her Captain was training his gun at the two of them.

"Please Roy," she begged, tears in her eyes. She knew Montgomery didn't have a clear shot, but maybe if Coonan walked past them …, but Roy kept his weapon trained at Coonan.

"Castle," she gasped as she locked eyes with him and saw the panic on his face as his lips formed words she didn't want to hear. Not when they were a goodbye. She was not going to lose him as well. She didn't care if she never found the man responsible for her mother's death as long as she had Castle. As long as he wasn't taken from her and the girls. Their daughters, how was she suppose to tell their daughters that their daddy wasn't coming home.

And then her husband did something totally irresponsible, before she could stop him. She saw his head smashing back against Coonan, who lost his grip on Castle and stumbled backwards. Blood running out of his nose as he raised his gun to aim at the writer.

Beckett didn't hesitate, one shot and her mother's killer hit the floor, but she didn't pay attention to him, she had only eyes for her husband as she crossed the short distance between them.

Her fist hit his chest, "Are you crazy?", she cried out on a sob, before pulling him into her arms.

"It worked, didn't it?", he replied as he wrapped is arms tightly around her in return. His heart was still racing, he really hadn't been sure he would get out of this situation alive.

"But what if it didn't?", she mumbled into his chest. "Rick, he could have shot you."

"He could have shot me anyway," he replied on a helpless huff. "Kate," he pressed his lips against her forehead. "I'm here. It's okay. It's over."

And over it was. Dick Coonan was dead and with him all her hopes of finding who was responsible for her mother's murder. But she couldn't care less about that right now.

"I want to go home," she mumbled, before straightening up and turning around to finally face the mess around them. Castle stayed at her side, his hand resting on the small of her back as they watched Ryan and Esposito taking point and shouting orders.

"Beckett," Montgomery stepped up to them. "They need your weapon."

She looked down, only now realizing that she was still holding on to it, "Of course."

She handed it over to her Captain, who bagged it, handing it over to one of the techs.

"I want you two to go home," Montgomery finally said, giving them a stern look as if he feared they would protest. "You can give your statements in the morning."

"Thank you, sir," Beckett nodded and with one last look at Coonan's dead body, she turned, pulling Castle with her, "Take me home."

* * *

Castle woke up to an empty bed, groaning he rolled over and fumbled for his phone. 3.24am. Where was she? The bed next to him was cold, so she must have been gone for a while.

He got up and patted into his office, only to found that empty as well.

"Kate?", he called out softly, but didn't get an answer.

He finally found her in the living room, staring out the window, lost in thought.

"Kate?", he stepped up to her. "What are you doing out here?"

"I couldn't sleep," she replied without looking at him and he could only imagine what was going through her head after the day they had.

"Come back to bed," he said, pressing a kiss against her shoulder. "It's cold and lonely without you. And too much thinking will give you wrinkles." He tried to lighten the mood.

"I'll be there in a bit," she said, ignoring his attempt, still staring out the window.

"Okay," he sighed, defeated. "Don't be too long."

She watched him as he slowly patted back into their bedroom, a sad smile on her face while her eyes followed him. She had nearly lost him today and it was all her fault.

* * *

**TBC**


	21. Chapter 21

xxx

Castle could only hope that Kate had come back to bed after he had left her in the living room earlier in the morning, because when he woke up later, she wasn't there. He heard the shower running though and satisfied that she was at least nearby he stumbled out of bed to make his way into the kitchen to get some coffee started for when she got out.

He assumed that she wanted to go to the precinct as soon as possible and therefore didn't bother to dish up a big breakfast for her. He settled for two slices of toast with jam and then got started on breakfast preparations for the girls who would get a considerate larger selection than their mother. The plan as far as there was one was for him to join Kate at the precinct to give his statement once he had sent the girls off to school and dropped Ellie off at day-care. Kate probably would be done with her statement by the time he would make it to the precinct, but since they were required to give them separately anyway he would just make sure he had her favorite coffee for when she was done. There was not much else he could do to offer his support while at work.

"Hey," his wife pulled him out of his thoughts as she stepped through the office into the living room. He noticed immediately that she looked tired.

"Hey," he smiled at her. "Did you get some sleep after all? You weren't in bed when I woke up."

"Some", she replied and then quickly changed the topic, "I want to get going right away, is that okay?"

"Sure," he replied. "I have your coffee and some toast. You can just take it with you."

"Thanks," she smiled, pressing a kiss against the corner of his mouth. "I'll see you later. Give the girls a kiss from me. I'll see them tonight."

"Will do," Castle promised as he watched her head out the door. She was still off, distant but he guessed that was to be expected after yesterday's events. He would just wait and see how things developed throughout the day before deciding what to do.

* * *

When Castle walked into the bullpen later that morning Kate was already sitting at her desk, her nose deep in a file.

"Hey, are you already done? How did it go?", he asked as he sat down in his chair beside her desk.

"Okay, I guess," she replied, without really looking up, "Montgomery wants to see you right away."

"Uhm, alright," Castle frowned and placed her coffee down in front of her. "Talk to you later then?"

"Yeah," she nodded and he thought she would leave it at that, but then her hand reached out to wrap around his fingers, "You'll be fine, just tell them what happened and don't try to be to ... you know."

"Myself?", he grinned but nodded. "Okay, I'll try. See you later."

Kate watched him disappear into the Captain's office where the drapes where closed and saw the door close behind him. He would be fine. She knew. They didn't do anything wrong. Montgomery had already reassured her that their interviews were just a formality. She probably would get her gun back by the end of the day and yet she couldn't shake off the constant pressure in her chest, the uneasy feeling she felt ever since they had come home last night, because _she_ had been wrong. Rick shouldn't have been there at all, there shouldn't have been a gun pressed against his kidney or anywhere else for that matter. What had she been thinking? Why had she been fooling herself for so long and had allowed him to shadow her and why hadn't she stayed away from her mother's case? She had been fine for years without looking into it. He could be dead and it would have been her responsibility, her fault. How would she have told their daughters, his mother...

So she had made up her mind last night, while she stood alone in their living room, staring out the window, the day's events playing over and over in her head. He wouldn't be back with her at the precinct, she wouldn't allow it. She just had to come up with a way to tell him.

"Yo Beckett. Castle in there?", Espo appeared in front of her desk, pointing toward Montgomery's office.

She nodded, "Should be for a while longer."

"He'll be fine," he reassured her unnecessarily. "How did yours go?" Espo questioned while making his way over to his own desk.

"Okay," she replied, she really didn't want to talk about it, she had no desire to relive yesterday's events over and over and was saved from further questioning by Ryan who hurried into the bullpen.

"We caught a case," he announced, before looking at Kate. "Sorry Beckett."

"It's alright," she smiled. "I kind of look forward to being home early for once."

She needed to wait for IA to officially clear her before she could join an active investigation and that probably wouldn't happen before the end of the week so after she had finished her paperwork for the day she was free to go.

* * *

She was so absorbed in the file in front of her that she didn't even notice when Castle sat back down at her side half an hour later.

"That went better than expected," he said and made her jump.

"Huh?", she looked up wide-eyed.

"I said; it went better than expected," he repeated and watched her with some worry. She shouldn't be here. Yesterday had been a day from hell for both of them and they still hadn't really talked about it. When they had come home last night their focus had been on the girls, explaining what had happened in an appropriate way and later filling Alexis in on some more details. They had been dead tired when everyone was finally in bed and hadn't mumbled much more than a goodnight to each other, before he had wrapped her up in his arms and they had both fallen asleep. At least that was what he had thought, but watching her now, the dark circles under her eyes, the constant frown that told him she was harboring a headache, he started to wonder if she had slept at all.

"Good," she replied to his statement with a weak smile. Considering the circumstances she would have been surprised if IA had grilled him. Their had been enough witnesses last night to confirm what happened and to testify that she had had no choice but to shoot Coonan.

"Okay," he nodded and then stood up, holding his hand out to her, "Lets go home."

"I need to finish this file," she said looking stubbornly back down on the papers in front of her.

"But Montgomery said to take the rest of the week off," he protested, giving her a disapproving look.

"I said I need to finish this first," she snapped and Castle took a step backwards, surprised by her outburst.

"Kate -," he tried again, but she cut him off.

"Castle, go home. Please. I'll finish this and be right behind you," she said, now a bit softer, forcing a smile on her face.

"Okay," Rick resigned, hanging his head as he walked toward the elevator. He kept his eyes on her until the doors closed, watching her stare down at the file in front of her and with a heavy sigh he leaned against the elevator wall. He would give her an hour, if she hadn't come home by then he would come and get her.

* * *

He didn't have to wait that long. Twenty minutes after he had made it home, his wife came rushing through the front door, tears running down her face which turned into heart breaking sobs as she fell into his arms.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled into his arms, though he wasn't sure what exactly she was apologizing for. He simply held her, while he managed to navigate them to the couch to get them both into a more comfortable position.

"It's okay," he mumbled into her ear, figuring that everything that had happened finally caught up on her. He didn't know what else to do but to hold her and mumble nonsense into her ear until she had calmed down and they could talk about everything.

"I'm sorry Babe," she hick-upped as she finally emerged from her spot on his chest. "It's all my fault."

"What is your fault?", he asked confused, watching her wipe away the tears from under her red-rimmed eyes and let his hand rub up and down her arms.

"Everything," she sighed. "You almost got killed, Castle, because -," she stopped again, "because I couldn't let it rest. I shouldn't have tried to find Rathborne. I shouldn't have looked into it at all. I -," the tears started to fall again.

"Hey, hey," he tried to soothe her. "Kate, that is not true. You could not have known what would happen, no one could," Castle replied.

"But if I had just let it be, then nothing would have happened at all. I was fine without looking into it, why couldn't I just stay away. What if -," he placed a finger against her lips to stop her word flow.

"Kate, please listen to me. You did nothing wrong. We talked about it. You, me and your dad. We all agreed it was something _we_ wanted to look into and I still think it was the right thing to do. No one could have predicted what happened at the precinct yesterday and it certainly wasn't your fault. It could have happened on any other case," he argued and unknowingly gave her the opening she had been waiting for.

"And that's exactly why you can't follow me any longer," she got out, without looking at him. She didn't want to see the hurt in his eyes.

"What?!", he exclaimed a bit louder than he had intended to. "You can't be serious."

"It's too dangerous. You just said it yourself, it could have happened on any case," she said, sitting up a bit straighter.

"That's not how I meant it and you know that," he argued, straightening up as well. This was certainly not how he had pictured their conversation to go. He knew that yesterday had scared her, hell it had scared the shit out of him, but never in his wildest dreams had he thought she would end their partnership at the precinct.

"Maybe, but it's true anyway," she replied. "It's too dangerous. We got lucky this time. What if that is not the case the next time, Rick? What if your antics don't get you out of the situation? What then?"

"That's just as true for you, Kate," he stated, irritated.

"But it's my job," she pressed on, watching Castle get up and start pacing in front of her.

"So what? So it's okay for you to get hurt or killed, because it's your job? That's bullshit, Kate."

"Of course it's not okay, but we always knew that with my job it's a possibility and the girls need one of us to come home," she tried to reason with him.

"And it's more okay for you not to come home as it is for me?", he snapped. "We already had this discussion."

"No," Kate threw her hands up in the air. "Rick. That's not what I'm saying and I don't want to fight with you about this."

"I don't want to fight either," he said, trying to calm down. "But I think you are being irrational because of what happened yesterday and that you should take a couple of days to calm down and process everything before you end something that has been working out great so far."

Kate shook her head, "I'm not being irrational and I won't change my mind. I don't want you to come to work with me any longer. It's too dangerous. I'm not going to lose you because of my job."

"I'm not accepting this. Not now, not before you calmed down, take a couple of days and think about it," he shook his head.

"Castle, when you first asked to shadow me at work, you promised me something. You promised that if I ever decided that it didn't work anymore for whatever reason that you would accept my decision. This is my decision."

"You're serious?", he glared at her.

"Castle, please. I'm not doing this to hurt you or because I don't want to work with you any longer. I do this because it's the right thing to do, even though it's not an easy decision to make."

"Yeah, whatever. Fine," he marched to the front door. "I need some air."

"Rick!", she called after him getting up from the couch, but the door had already slammed shut. With a sigh she sat back down and stared at the closed door. He would come back, once he had calmed down and then he would see that she was right. That this was for the best.

**TBC**


	22. 22 A Life to Remember

**_Short chapter _**

* * *

The clock ticked on for the next two hours and Castle didn't return. Kate wasn't overly worried though, she knew he was mad and probably even more disappointed. She had hoped for their talk to go better but in the end it had been what she had expected. They were both passionate people and if she had learned one thing over they years they had spent together it was the fact that they were just as passionate in their arguments and disagreements as they were in their love making. They always found their way back to each other in the end though and they had gotten better at compromising, trying to see the other's point of view. But she also knew how much Castle loved working with her and the boys, how much it meant to him to be part of the team, to bring justice to people and if she saw any other way, she wouldn't take this from him. If she thought he could be content with working strictly at the precinct with them, she would let him, but she knew him too well. It would never be enough for him to just watch from the sideline.

She would let him cool off and then she would try to make him see that she was right, that this was for the best, for all of them. Even if it hurt to end their professional partnership, their personal one, their family would always come first.

As she checked her phone again for a message from Castle she realized it was almost time to pick Ellie up from day-care and since she didn't often get the chance to be the one to get her youngest, she wrote a quick text to Rick telling him she would cover the pick-up today.

She didn't have to wait long for his reply which only consisted of a short '_o.k.', b_ut was more than enough for her right now as she headed for the nearest subway station to get to her daughter.

* * *

"Mommy!", Ellie squealed in delight when she saw her mother waiting for her in the pick-up zone.

"Hey Buttercup," Kate grinned, catching the little girl who was throwing herself into her mother's arms. "How was your day?"

"Great," Ellie smiled and her, her pig-tails jumping as she bopped her head.

"What do you think? Wanna go and surprise your sisters?", Kate asked, setting Ellie on her hip as she started for the door.

"Yeah," the little girl nodded excited and then asked with big puppy eyes that despite having her mother's coloring looked way too much like her father's, "Ice cream?"

Kate laughed, "Alright, alright, we can get some ice cream on the way home."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later the duo stood in front of Alexis' and Jamie's school and the second Ellie saw her oldest sister she began waving excitedly at her.

"Lexi! Lexi!", Ellie called out to the redhead.

"Hey," Alexis greeted them. "What are you two doing here?"

"Montgomery gave me the rest of the week off and I thought I'd surprise you," Kate explained, letting Ellie down so she could run over to her sister. "Where's Jamie?"

"Late, as usual," Alexis rolled her eyes. "I think I saw her talking to Claire."

"Ah," Kate nodded knowingly. Jamie and her best friend Claire had a sleepover planed for the upcoming weekend at the loft and she was sure that both were already excited and had a lot of planing to do.

"Hey Mom, hey Ellie," Jamie greeted as she came running toward them just that second. "What are you doing here?"

Kate laughed, "As I just told your sister, Montgomery gave me the rest of the week off and I thought I could come and pick you guys up."

"Ice cream," Ellie exclaimed from where she stood next to Alexis, stomping her little foot.

"Yes," Kate reassured her with a grin, "and we'll go and have some ice cream."

"Cool," Jamie grinned, taking her little sister by the hand, "What are we waiting for then? Let's go."

They made their way down the street and then just had to walk half a block to get to one of their favorite ice-cream parlors. A place Castle had discovered on a lazy Sunday, a couple of years ago.

When all three girls were placed at their favorite corner booth, Kate ordered for all of them at the bar before sitting down next to Ellie and Jamie as they waited for their order.

"So how was school today," Kate asked as everyone had their choice placed in front of them and Jamie and Alexis happily started to chat about their day. Jamie filling everyone in on her plans for the big sleepover with Claire and Kate started to fear that she and Castle were in for a sleepless night. She watched Alexis roll her eyes without Jamie noticing and suspected that the girl would spend her weekend at Paige's.

Half an hour later they made their way back to the loft, where Kate was relieved to see that Rick had returned and was currently cluttering around in the kitchen.

"Hey Dad," Alexis and Jamie called out in unison. "We had ice cream with Mom."

"Oh great," he smiled but when Kate stepped up to him in the kitchen he muttered only loud enough for her to hear, "Another thing I'm not welcomed to anymore."

She gave him a sharp look. His comment was uncalled for. He had hundreds of ice cream outings with the girls where she couldn't be present and she never begrudged him these times with their daughters. From the look on his face she could tell that he was well aware that his words had been unfair, but he wouldn't apologize either, he just gave her a weak smile, before helping Ellie out of her shoes.

"When's dinner ready?", Jamie asked as she stomped up the stairs with her backpack.

"In an hour," Castle replied. "Enough time to do your homework."

The girl sighed dramatically as she disappeared upstairs, followed by her older sister who was much more enthusiastic about her homework.

"Do you need help with dinner?", Kate asked as she watched Castle pull out ingredients.

"I'm good," he replied curtly.

"Rick," she sighed.

"Not now Kate. We can talk later."

"Okay," she accepted, knowing there was no use in pushing him to talk when he wasn't ready. "I'm gonna play with Ellie. Call me when you need help."

"Okay," he nodded and then turned to get dinner started.

Kate watched him for a moment, hoping that he would come around sooner rather than later before Ellie demanded her attention, by holding a book out to her. With a smile Kate sat down next to her little girl on the carpet and started reading to her, all the while glancing over at her husband.

* * *

An hour later they were all sat around the dinner table and not one of the kids, not even Alexis could tell that their parents were amiss. They were good at hiding their disagreements from their daughters, not wanting to unnecessarily upset the girls. They talked about the upcoming weekend, Alexis telling them that she had made arrangements to spend it at Paige's which Kate acknowledged with a smirk and a knowing look. Alexis loved her sister, she really did, but Jamie could be challenging and _loud_ and paired with Claire it was like category 5 hurricane visiting the loft for the weekend. Alexis thought it was much wiser to take cover an evacuate in time, let her parents deal with the chaos.

Her parents agreed with her plan as long as she was back on Sunday afternoon, where they had made plans with Martha and Jim to meet at Remy's.

"You're not gonna stay up all night Jamie," Castle warned the girl, who gave him a sheepish grin in return. "I'm serious. If you make me come up there all night, you'll be in big trouble."

"It's alright Dad," Jamie nodded. "I get it."

"Good," he muttered, though he already knew that there was not much hope for him to get a much sleep.

After dinner Kate got Ellie ready for bed, while Castle with Alexis and Jamie settled down around the coffee table in the living room to play cards.

* * *

Upstairs Kate settled her daughter into bed, grabbing one of the books that lay on the sideboard before sitting down next to the bed. She began to read, answering some of Ellie's questions regarding the story until the little girl had fallen asleep and she could tip-toe out of the room to join the rest of her family downstairs.

Instead of joining them in the game, she filled two glasses of wine for Castle and herself, which he gladly accepted and then settled on the couch to watch the girls and Rick play until it was time for Alexis and Jamie to go to bed as well.

Kate watched him put the cards away and then taking the wine glassed to the sink and decided it was best to let him come to her when he was ready to talk. So she made her way into the bathroom to give him the space and time he needed and to get ready for bed.

She was already tucked into bed when Castle finally appeared, making his way into the bathroom in silence, before he reappeared shortly after, getting into bed next to her and turning off the lights.

"Rick?", she asked tentatively, when he didn't say anything and felt him move next to her.

"I'm going to accept your decision," he spoke quietly. "For now. I'm behind with my writing anyway and could use some time to concentrate on the new book. We will, however, revisit this topic in a couple of weeks, when we both have gained some perspective."

"Rick -," she started but her husband cut her off.

"This was not a suggestion."

"Okay," she gave in. "Okay, sounds fair."

"And I'm sorry for what I said in the kitchen earlier. That was unfair and uncalled for," he apologized for his ice cream comment.

"It's okay," she replied quietly.

Silence surrounded them again and Kate had to fight the need to curl into his side, knowing it wouldn't be a welcomed gesture at the moment and so she settled for a soft, "Goodnight. Love you."

"Love you, too," he replied just as softly, before turning over, facing away from her. He loved her, that would never be not true, no matter what, but he needed a bit more time to get over being hurt and and his disappointment.

**TBC**


	23. 23 A Life to Remember

_**Late October 2010**_

The next weeks had flown by with two big birthday parties, one for Jamie and one for Alexis and a weekend in Hamptons with the whole family including Martha and Jim. They had yet to return to the topic of Rick's future presence or lack thereof at the precinct and Kate secretly hoped that he had accepted her decision by now, even though she missed him at work - terribly if she was honest. She hadn't noticed how much she had been relying on him to brighten her days at work, to bring her a fresh cup of coffee when she was frustrated or to help with one of his crazy theories when they were stuck on a case. She wouldn't change her mind and let him come back though. She still thought it was too dangerous for him to follow her and so she had successfully avoided the topic so far.

Of course Castle had anything but given up on his plan to convince his wife to take him back, professionally, but he also knew that if he wanted a chance, he needed to find the right moment to approach the topic and that moment simply hadn't come yet. So he let her think that he had given up and concentrated on his next book for now.

* * *

"Kate?!", Castle hollered from the office.

"Yeah?", she made her way over from the kitchen where she had been successfully wrestling with the coffee machine, shooing the kittens out of her way who were playing around her feet.

"Can you read over this for me?", her husband asked when she entered the office and leaned against the door frame, wearing a tight pair of yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt and he realized that he had missed her yoga routine while he was writing. Damn it.

"Sure," she nodded, handing him the coffee she had just made before she took his laptop and sat down at her own desk to read over his latest chapter.

"You want another?", Castle asked, pointing at the coffee cup in his hand.

"No, I already had one. Made this one specially for you," she replied with a smile but without looking up from her task.

"Oh, thank you," he grinned, placing a kiss against the top of her head. "Do you mind if I take a quick walk around the block while you read? Stretch my leg?"

"No, no," she shook her head, shooing him out of the office with a wave of her hand, "You go. I'll be busy for a while with this anyway."

"Okay," he nodded satisfied and left her to it to get his coat and scarf and to fill his coffee into a travel mug to take with him.

She usually didn't read over his work since during their normally hectic routine she hardly ever found the time but today was one of the rare occasions she had a day off during the week because she had worked the previous weekend. So she gladly took the time to get a glimpse into his latest work. She didn't know if her comments actually helped, but Castle always persisted they did.

They had started their unusual free day by spending some extra time in bed after the girls had left for school while Martha had volunteered to take Ellie to daycare and after they had finally made it out Castle had sat down to write while Kate had ventured off into the living room to play with Oliver and Sookie and later to do her yoga routine.

Now she was deep into his latest chapter, knew already that she had to read it again, because she got pulled into the story way too much to be able to spot anything amiss on the first read-through. Therefore she hoped her husband would take his time before he came back from his walk. Thankfully he usually got distracted when he was out and so she might get lucky and he'd be gone for an hour or longer.

When she had read through the chapter once she printed it out, preferring to make her comments on paper rather than in the word document and with the pages in hand she resettled on the couch and got to work. She found a couple of misspellings, added a comment here and there when she thought he could change the flow of a paragraph but other than that she didn't find much that needed to be re-done.

Satisfied that she had given her best she placed the papers on his desk, drew a heart at the bottom of the last paper and snuggled back down on the couch to promptly fall asleep with Oliver and Sookie snuggling into her side and that's how Castle found them when he came back from his walk an hour later. With a grin he passed them quietly, not wanting to wake Kate and made his way into his office to find her ideas neatly placed on his desk. He scanned over them, a smile forming on his lips when he found the heart. She had made some good suggestions - as usual - and he would give them proper thought later tonight, but for now he would put them aside and start lunch. Afterwards he planned to take Kate to a gallery she had wanted to visit and later for coffee at the new coffee shop he had just discovered while he was on his stroll through the neighborhood.

All three girls were taken care of until later in the evening. Alexis was meeting with friends, Jamie was busy with her theater project at school and Ellie would spend the afternoon with Grandpa Jim at the zoo, so they didn't need to worry about picking anyone up and could enjoy a rare midweek afternoon on their own.

Sookie and Oliver joined him in kitchen when they heard him potter around, hoping to snatch a treat as they moved around his feet, purring and Castle had to be careful not to step on one of them as he moved around the kitchen.

Kate woke on her own once he started cooking and stretched on the couch with a wide yawn, "Something smells good," she said once she got up, joining him in the kitchen.

"It's just pumpkin soup," he shrugged, welcoming her at his side with a kiss.

"Ohhh, but I love your pumpkin soup," she replied as she headed for the cabinets to get bowls. "How was your walk?"

"Good, found this new coffee shop. I thought we could go there after the gallery."

"Sounds good," Kate agreed, setting the bowls and spoons down at the counter before cutting some bread to go with the soup and poured them both a glass of water.

* * *

"I can't believe you bought the picture," Kate was still shaking her head in disbelief as they excited the gallery.

"What?", her husband shrugged. "We both liked it. It's a beautiful painting. Why not?"

"It costs 300,000 dollars," she argued.

He shrugged again, "It's a good investment."

Kate huffed, but knew it was no use. The deal was done anyway. And she knew it wouldn't even make a dent in their bank account, which she still wasn't used to. Even after all those years.

"So coffee?", he suggested, changing the subject.

"Yes, please," she whined as she took his hand and pulled him toward the street to hail a cab impatiently. He laughed but followed.

"Actually," he stopped her before she could whistle for a cab, "Do you think you could endure your coffee thirst a bit longer?"

"Castle," she whined. "I really want coffee."

"But I would make it worth your while, I promise."

She gave him a sceptic look.

"Come on," he tugged at her hand. "Trust me."

"Okaaay," she relented and let him pull her back from the curve. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," he grinned, leading the way.

* * *

"The ice rink?", Kate exclaimed when they stopped in front of the Rockefeller Center.

"I thought today would be a good opportunity to enjoy it without looking out for the girls," he smiled and Kate leaned up to place a kiss against his cheek.

"Totally worth waiting for my coffee," she beamed. "Thank you, this is a great idea."

They skated around the relatively empty rink hand in hand, giggling like teenagers when they almost fell on their asses as Rick tried to swirl them around. After half an hour they had enough and returned the skates to finally make their way to Castle's newest coffee shop discovery.

* * *

"I had a great time today," Kate said, tucked into his side in the little coffee shop which was just two blocks from the loft. "Thanks for the ice skating and the painting."

Castle just smiled. He agreed, they had needed some time alone together without the kids and even if it was just for a day, it was enough to recharge their batteries for a while.

"Ready to return to the chaos?", he asked, letting his view wander over the busy line of costumers but thinking of their three daughters.

She glanced at her watch, "We still have about an hour before my dad drops Ellie off."

"Anything you want to do during that hour?", he asked, totally missing her seductive smirk.

"I don't know about the whole hour, but for part of it I might have an idea?"

"Yeah?", he asked. Still obliviously to her train of thought until her hand landed on his thigh and wandered upwards. "Oh, I see," he gulped.

* * *

They fell through the front door, lips locked and hands roaming. Castle was pulling at her shirt, trying to get it over her head, but Kate shook her head, "Don't leave a trail, we don't have time to pick everything up afterwards."

He growled and she squealed when Rick picked her up instead, threw her over his shoulder and carried her into their bedroom like a caveman. She landed on the bed with a huff and had no time to catch her breath before her husband was on her again. His hands moving under her shirt, going for her breasts and she hissed out in pleasure when he found his target, her legs wrapping around his hips, pulling him down onto her and they both moaned when their hips met.

"Get your pants off," she groaned, going for his zipper, while Castle finally pulled the shirt over her head.

"How much time," he asked, while struggling to push jeans and boxers down his legs.

"Enough," she replied, "If you ever get those pants off."

He was about to protest that she hadn't even started to get out of her own, only to find her already naked under him.

"Huh?", he frowned.

"Stop staring, Castle," she demanded. "Get back here."

And then it was quick and hard and messy until they both collapsed onto the bed, breathing heavily.

"We have 10 minutes before my dad gets here," she got out after a minute and Castle whined.

"I can't move," he protested, but rolled out of the bed nevertheless, following her into the shower where she had to fight off his wandering hands.

15 minutes later they greeted Jim and Ellie at the door, still looking kind of flustered, which didn't go unnoticed by Kate's father.

"You two had a good time?", he asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow as he watched his daughter and son-in-law blush.

"Dad, how was the zoo," Kate quickly changed the topic, shoving her father into the living room to avoid further comments, while Castle helped Ellie out of her coat.

On her way she glanced over her shoulder, catching Castle's look and shook her head in embarrassment when he winked at her. Their time-out sure was over.

**TBC**

* * *

_**AN: I'm so sorry this took sooooo long. I was away on vacation and then work was crazy. I try to do better with the next chapter, which I'm a bit excited about because it involves two of my favorite episodes from season 2. **_


	24. 24 A Life to Remember

**_This is setting up the next couple of chapters about two of my favorite episodes ever. ;-)_**

* * *

Beckett was just leaving the break room with a fresh cup of coffee, sighing when she glanced at the clock. It was almost eight in the evening and her shift didn't end for another two hours. Theoretically they were on call and she could be at home but a - _Flunami - _as Castle had named it had hit the 12th and they were short-staffed and so it was basically all hands on deck at the moment. She had missed dinner and now bed time at home, but had talked to the girls and Castle on the phone an hour ago. Yet she didn't mind working late today, she knew that Montgomery usually tried to accommodate her hectic family life, more than he probably should and would with others and so she was more than willing to help out now when she was needed.

She was just returning to her desk, when the elevator doors opened and to her surprise Castle was the one who stormed out of it.

"Kate, Kate," he called out, excitement written all over his face. "Ask me why I'm here?"

"Who's with the kids?", she asked instead.

Castle rolled his eyes, jumping on the spot like their youngest daughter when she got excited, "Mother. Now ask me why I'm here."

"Why are you here?", she sighed, as she made her way over to her desk.

"Paula called. They made an offer. They're gonna make the movie," he exclaimed excitedly and she finally understood his behavior.

"That's great, Babe," she smiled, pressing a quick kiss against his cheek.

"Thank you," he grinned from ear to ear. "I had to come and tell you right away. So who would you like to play you in the movie?"

She was kept from answering by Ryan's excited squeal, "Whoa, are you kidding? They're making a Nikki Heat movie?" He turned to Espo, "Dude, did I call it, or what?"

Kate smirked at the boys, shaking her head when Espo congratulated her husband by _feeding the birds with him._

"Thank you," Castle beamed from ear to ear and while the boys wondered who could play their alter egos she answered her ringing phone.

"Beckett."

"_Yes, I'd like to report a murder_," a male voice informed her and she grabbed a pen.

"Do you have an address?", Beckett questioned, ready to write it down.

"_Where is the fun in that?"_, the voice replied with a chuckle.

Beckett snapped her fingers at the boys and Ryan and Espo immediately gave her their full attention, "Okay… Who is this?"

"_Oh, a fan," _the man replied, his tone sending a chill down her back.

"Tell me more about this murder," Beckett tried to keep the man on the line, while Ryan mouthed her, that he was running a trace.

"_Well, I did it. And that's all you need to know_," the voice said and the call was disconnected.

"42nd and Lex," Ryan informed as he hung up the phone himself.

"That's Grand Central Station," Castle said and got up to follow the team, but Kate held him back.

"You're going home," she said softly.

"But Kate," he sighed.

"It's late and the girls need you home," she spoked quietly but firmly and he knew he wouldn't be able to weasel his way back in, not tonight.

"Okay," he nodded, "but call me later, okay? Tell when you'll be home."

"I will," she replied and then pressed a quick kiss against his lips, before she followed the boys to the elevator.

* * *

She crawled into bed way after midnight and snuggled into his side, seeking his body heat and her husband didn't disappoint when he pulled her in closer.

"You okay?", his sleepy voice mumbled into her ear.

"Yeah," she sighed. "It's just – He called to report his crime. And that voice … It's like he did it for fun."

"You'll figure it out," he reassured her. "You always do. But now you need to sleep."

She was already out cold.

* * *

"Hey, you're up early," Castle observed as he made his way into the kitchen the next morning and found his mother and oldest daughter already sitting at the kitchen counter.

"One could say the same about you," Martha replied.

"Kate caught a case and came in late last night. I want to make breakfast for her before she needs to meet Lanie at the morgue," he explained. "What about you two? It's Saturday."

"I think you should tell him, Gram. Sometimes he gives good advice," Alexis suggested and then shrugged, "or you could wait for Kate."

"Ha ha," Castle pouted. "Very funny."

"Wait for me for what?", Kate announced her presence, stepping up next to Alexis. "Morning."

"Well," Martha sighed dramatically. "Chet has asked me to move in with him."

"I told her ... that I thought it was too soon. They've been only dating for a few month," Alexis said and Kate gave her daughter's arm a reassuring squeeze. It was obvious that Alexis and her sisters would miss having her grandmother around should Martha actually decide to move out.

"When you get to be our age, every minute counts. To that end, I have made a list of pros and cons. So far the pros are winning," Martha sighed.

"Pro – he makes me feel young," Castle sniggered and got an elbow into the side from Kate for it.

"Well..., " Martha raised a suggestive eyebrow.

"I make you feel young and Jamie and Ellie do too, right?", Alexis asked hopefully.

"Oh, darling," Martha pulled her granddaughter into her side. "Of course you do."

Castle read on from his mother's list, "Cons – I don't want to live in another man's home." He gave her a pointed look and got another jab for it from Kate.

"You are not another man," she chided him. "Besides, I trained you and then Kate trained you some more and you turned out pretty okay. Who knows what bad habits Chet picked up along the way, you know?"

"I turned out okay? Okay?!", Rick huffed, while his daughter and wife nodded thoughtfully.

"Anyway," he waved them off and turned to Martha. "Mother, whatever you decide, we will support you, the same way we have since the last man you lived with stole your life savings."

"Castle," Kate warned, "be nice. But of course we will support you Martha. You have to do what feels right to you. And you know you can always come back to the loft. Our door will always be open."

"Thank you, Darling," Martha smiled warmly, while Alexis snuggled into her side, looking very sad.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go," Kate excused herself after they had shared a pile of pancakes. "Lanie is waiting at the morgue for me."

"Good luck with the case," Castle mumbled into her ear as he let her to the front door, pulling her into his arms, before letting her step out of the loft. "See you tonight."

"I'll try to be home in time for dinner," Kate promised, before taking off to the morgue.

* * *

"Cause of death is multiple gunshot wounds. Tox indicates he had a martini about an hour before he died. Other than that, there is nothing interesting about the body," Lanie told her friend once Kate got to the morgue.

"So, then why the call?", Kate grumbled about the extra trip when she could have been at her desk already.

Lanie gave her a look that told her there was more, "The body isn't interesting," the M.E. said as she pulled out a magnifying glass, "but the bullets are. Check out the marking on the end of the slugs."

"Aftermarket factory stamps?", Beckett questioned.

"No," Lanie shook her head.

And Kate agreed, after giving the bullets a second look, "Those aren't stamps. They're letters. And look, they're hand-etched. They spell something," Kate moved the bullets around, "'Nikki'. Nikki Heat. That's why he called me. That's why he said he was a fan. He dedicated this murder to me."

"Kate," Lanie looked up at her friend, a worried expression on her face. "I think you need to call Castle."

"Why?", Kate frowned, suspecting that her husband had set Lanie up to this to get back on the team.

"Because if this guy is after you in some way, he might be after Castle as well. He's Nikki Heat's creator after all. He needs to know what's going on."

Kate gasped. Lanie was right, after all she had no idea what their killer was playing at, "Oh my god. The girls." She was pulling her phone out and dialing Castle's number before she had even started for the door.

"Hey," her husband greeted her happily. "Miss me already?"

"Castle," she cut him off. "Where are the girls?"

"We're at the playground. Why?," he asked.

"Alexis too?", Kate ignored his question.

"Yeah, she's right next to me. What's wrong?"

"I need you to come to the precinct. Right now," she stated, now heading for the stairs.

"Okaaay," Castle sounded irritated. "I'll drop the girls off at the loft and -," he didn't get any further.

"No, bring them with you."

"Kate, what is wrong?", Caste started to get worried.

"I -," she sighed. "It's about the case. Please just get to the precinct. I tell you when you get there."

"Okay," he agreed. "Okay, we'll leave right now."

"Thank you," she sighed. "I'll see you there. Be safe."

_**TBC**_


	25. 25 A Life to Remember

_**AN: A short one. I was traveling for two weeks and thought I'd have tome to write, turned out I didn't.**_

* * *

Beckett and the boys had just gathered around the murder board, when the elevator doors opened, spilling Beckett's family out into the bullpen, barely ten minutes after her own arrival at the precinct. The obviously very excited youngest Castle girl was hurrying out in front of their father and Alexis, wanting to get to her mother first.

"Mommy," Ellie shrieked happily, running straight over to Kate and throwing her arms around her mother's legs, while Ryan discretely turned the murder board around so that the girls wouldn't see the crime scene pictures.

"Hellooooo," Ellie grinned up at her mother, dark lashes framing her green eyes before she squealed, loud enough for the whole bullpen to hear. "Surprise!"

Kate couldn't help but laugh at her daughter's adorable antics, forgetting for a moment why she had called her family here in the first place.

"We thought we'd come by and surprise you," Castle said as he stepped up at her side, fortifying the fake explanation he had given the girls earlier and Beckett was grateful that her husband had had the foresight to come up with an excuse for their impromptu visit at the precinct that wouldn't worry the girls more than necessary at this point.

In the meantime Jamie had spotted her favorite uncle and ran over to him with a happy grin on her face when she greeted him, "Hola Uncle Javi."

"Hola Chica," Espo laughed, picking her up and spinning her around. "You're starting to get too big for this, you know." He groaned as he sat her back down, pressing a hand to the small of his back.

"No," Jamie protested, "You're just getting old."

"What?!", Espo gasped. "You take that back."

"Uh-uh," Jamie shook her head, grinning from ear to ear. "_You _take it back."

Kate watched the exchange with a soft smile even though her mind was already wandering back to the reason her family was here at the precinct on a Saturday morning. She knew Alexis already sensed something was up, throwing her parents questioning looks and so Kate pulled the girl aside to make sure she didn't worry too much.

"This is just a precaution and I'll explain everything later, but for now, could you take your sisters to the break room and keep them occupied for a while? I need to talk to your dad first," Kate explained and Alexis nodded reluctantly, but at least she looked a little less worried.

"Are there still cookies in the jar on the top shelf?", she asked, already hording her sisters toward the break room.

"If L.T. didn't eat them all," Kate gasped in mocked horror as she saw the man in question enter the bullpen.

"I did no such thing, Beckett," L.T. defended himself, picking Ellie up who beamed from ear to ear, having developed a sweet spot for the big man. "Come on, Ellie. I'll show you that your mom is not telling the truth. There are lots of cookies left. I only ate a few. Ten tops."

"Bye Mommy," the girl waved over L.T.'s shoulder and when Alexis and Jamie followed Kate could finally turn her attention to Castle.

"So what's going on, Kate?", he asked once the door closed behind L.T. and the girls. "You have got me worried here."

"I know," Kate sighed, not making him feel any better. "Come on," she pulled him over to the murder board to show him what they got so far.

* * *

Half an hour later Beckett and Castle were seated in Montgomery's office while L.T. had taken the girls on a precinct tour, which surely would keep them and every officer and detective they would meet along the way occupied for a while longer.

"Does he realize she's a fictional character, not a real person?", Montgomery asked, scanning the case notes that the team had handed him.

"Obviously he's delusional, but given that Nikki Heat is based on Beckett, maybe he's confusing the two. And Ryan and Esposito showed the victim's family the sketch of our suspect. He did not look familiar," Castle who was now up to speed gave his opinion of the matter.

"And you think Castle and the kids could be in danger too?", her boss asked, looking from Beckett to Castle.

"I'm not sure," Kate looked thoughtful, "the girls are not part of the Nikki Heat universe, but Rick certainly is and we don't really know what we're dealing with here. Who can guarantee he sticks to the books?"

"You're right," Montgomery nodded slowly. "We should keep an open mind and better be safe than sorry. How are we on forensics?"

"C.S.U grabbed about 200 fingerprints, a thousand fibers and 60 odd DNA samples, and that was just from the phone box. They're working them up now… after they clear their backlog," Beckett sighed. Everyone knew that forensics would probably be a dead end.

"Beckett," Ryan came bursting through the door, "Guy on the phone's asking for Detective Heat." All three of them followed him outside to watch Beckett pick up the phone, waiting a second before answering to give Ryan the chance to trace the call.

"Beckett," Kate answered after taking a deep breath to calm her nerves.

"Nikki, did you get the first part of my message?", the same voice she had talk to the day before greeted her.

"Yes, I did."

"Well, the second is at the Central Park carousel," the line was dead and after a moment were everyone seemed to be frozen in place, they sprang into action, shouting orders and grabbing their gear.

"Kate," Castle held her back. "I'm coming with you."

"No, Rick," she shook her head. "I told you -."

"But this is about us, our family. You can expect me to just watch from the sidelines," he insisted and watched her chewing her bottom lip while she contemplated his words.

"Okay, okay," she finally nodded, knowing she didn't have much time to discuss matters with her husband at this moment. "But bring the girls home first. Martha is there, right?" He nodded. "Take L.T. and one of the Unis with you and fill your mother in on everything. Then let L.T. bring you to Central Park and tell the Uni to stay at the loft. Okay?"

"Okay, I got it," he nodded, his expression dead serious before he hurried off to find L.T. and the girls.

"Oh and Rick," she called after him and Castle stopped, turning around. "Tell Alexis we'll explain everything tonight."

He gave her a thumbs up and disappeared around the corner as Kate followed her team members to the elevator.

* * *

Beckett and the boys stood next to the dead body of the woman they had just found at the carousel at Central Park, listening carefully to Lanie's findings. Which wasn't much so far, but they already knew they were dealing with the same killer. Lanie confirmed the same M.O. and added the detail that she guessed that their killer was left-handed.

"C.S.U. pull the slugs from the back of the carriage?", Beckett asked, already knowing that there would be a message left for her.

"Yes," Lanie nodded. "There were letters on the slugs. The spell W-I-L-L."

"So he's sending a message. 'Nikki will …'."

"What?", Espo looked at her. "Nikki will what?"

Beckett shrugged and then thanked Lanie, "I don't know."

"So we're dealing with a serial," Ryan stated before his eyes were following his partners' as they watched several black SUV's pulling up to the crime scene, basically confirming Ryan's thought. The FBI wouldn't show up for a simple double murder.

"Looks like the Fed's are claiming jurisdiction over this case," Kate sighed, knowing that the following hours had just become more complicated.

_**TBC**_


	26. 26 A Life to Remember

_AN: Lots of dialogue ahead that will look familiar ;-) - enjoy._

* * *

Back at the precinct Agent Shaw and her team were setting up what Beckett called the _war room, _while Castle stood next to her, staring wide-eyed at every new gadget that was carried into the bullpen.

"Since you seem to know so much about Agent Shaw, care to fill me in?" Beckett asked.

When the FBI had rolled up at _her _crime scene, Castle had known immediately who the agent in charge was. Special Agent Jordan Shaw and he had basically stared open-mouthed at the woman ever since. Beckett wasn't sure she liked the awe with which her husband took everything in Agent Shaw said or did.

"Uhm yeah," he nodded without taking his eyes of the latest federal toy that got carried into the conference room. "She is like the federal you. She is good. She is real good. She cracked open that Hudson Valley Strangler case when she was just 25."

Kate nodded, she knew about that case, "Didn't they catch him off of a speeding ticket?"

"Well, don't ask me how, but she profiled that he drove a _Yugo._"

"They found a girl tied up in the back," Beckett remembered, a bit in awe herself now. Catching that killer had been extraordinary profiling work.

"Uh-huh. Jordan Shaw saved that girl's life," Castle added, clearly impressed and Kate watched his eyes follow the woman's every move in the conference room.

"I've never seen you so excited to meet anyone before," Kate narrowed her eyes at him and wasn't quite sure if she should be jealous or amused by his giddy behavior.

"No?" He smirked back, his attention suddenly only on her. "Then you should pay better attention next time I _meet _you."

"Cheesy," she huffed, but was unable to hide her blush.

"Yet true," he replied, before getting excited again. "Can we go see the warm room now?"

Beckett rolled her eyes but followed him to the conference room where Agent Shaw was busy giving orders to her team and checking on updates from the lab. The room was as busy as a beehive, agents rushing around, giving Shaw updates or putting new information into laptops, which immediately appeared on the smart board. Beckett felt like being in the middle of a Tom Cruise movie.

While she tried not to appear too impressed by the arsenal the FBI had rolled into her precinct, Castle was already touching things. She didn't stop him, let Agent Shaw be the one to end his fun. Maybe that would bring the woman down a notch from the pedestal her husband had apparently put her on.

Shaw didn't waste anytime, giving the two of them a quick run down on where they stood and what updates they had received from the lab. Agent Shaw was nothing but professional, Beckett had to give her that. Usually, when working with the Feds they had to claw much harder to be included.

"Both Alex Peterman and Michelle Lewis belonged to the same Wessex gym, but they went to different locations. They were both members of MoMA. They both adopted their dogs from the same A.S.P.C.A.," Castle read out loud what the FBI data matrix had put together on the smart board, already contemplating if he could buy one of those for his office at home.

"Wow, sounds like it does your job for you," Beckett stated less impressed. She preferred her old-fashioned murder board.

"A machine can collate. It can't think," Agent Shaw disagreed, in this slight patronizing tone, that Beckett already started to dislike. Shaw walked up to the smart board, causing Castle to hastily step aside to make room for her. "It takes a mind to hunt a this guy."

The sketch of their suspect appeared on the board.

"He calls the police to report his own crime, likes to kill in heavily populated areas and uses bullets as messages. Now, most of these stalker types can barely tie their own shoes. This one's different, smarter," Agent Shaw listed what she had profiled so far.

"You almost sound like you admire him," Beckett observed.

"I admire him the way Robert Shaw admired the shark in _Jaws_. The better I know him, the easier it'll be to catch him."

"That's like when I'm writing. The killer's voice doesn't sound authentic unless I understand his motivation," Castle agreed eagerly and Beckett slowly started to get annoyed with him.

"Well, this guy likes to make a scene. I wouldn't be surprised if he was also an arsonist. In fact, I think that's what drew him to the Nikki Heat character in the first place – her name. Speaking of Detective Heat –," they turned around to find two agents carrying boxes filled with Castle's book.

"Oh. Whoa, whoa, guys, listen. Not that I don't appreciate the royalties, but why do you need a hundred copies of _Heat Wave_?" Castle frowned.

"If our killer's obsessed with Nikki Heat, then so are we. Avery, cliff notes, please," Shaw demanded.

"A real estate tycoon is killed. Detective Nikki Heat catches the case and investigates suspects who wanted the man dead. There's a trophy wife, of course, dangerous mobsters –," Avery rattled down uninspired.

"Uh, excuse me," Castle stopped the agent. "It's, it's a _New York_ _Times_ bestseller. I don't think there's a need to make it sound quite so dry. Thanks."

Beckett shook her head in disbelief, barely refraining from rolling her eyes at her husband's interruption. Now was certainly not the time for his _writer ego_ to make an appearance.

Agent Avery continued with the same enthusiasm as before, none, "Heat's life is complicated by a reporter named Jameson Rook, who's following her around for an article he's writing. Heat and Rook verbally spar, and in chapter 11, they admit their attraction for one another and have sex."

Some agents sniggered, other were suddenly very quiet, but all of them were staring at Beckett and Castle.

"It's fiction," Beckett sighed. She really didn't need this.

"But aren't you two married?" One of the agents asked.

"Yes, we are," Beckett confirmed. "The books are still fiction though. Our private life is just that - private."

"Glad we could clear this up," Shaw rolled her eyes, her mask of professionalism slipping for a second as she couldn't hide a small grin.

Avery finally continued, "In the end, when the killer's revealed, it turns out it is actually –."

Castle cut him off, shaking his head, "Spoiler alert."

Much to Beckett's surprise Agent Shaw humored her husband, "In deference to Mr. Castle's artistic sensitivity, you can all read the book to find out the identity of the killer."

"Thank you," Castle nodded and was about to add something stupid, of that Beckett was sure and therefor stopped him.

"Quit while you're ahead," she mumbled.

While the rest team got back to work, Agent Shaw turned her attention to the duo, "Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle I have added two of my men to your family's protective detail. I hope you don't mind, but three sets of eyes see more than one."

"Of course, thank you," Beckett nodded surprised but also worried that Agent Shaw apparently agreed with their thesis that their family might be in danger as well and concerned enough to add two of her own men for their protection.

"Yes, thank you. We appreciate it," Castle added, now serious again. "So you think they might be in danger as well?"

"I'm not taking any risks," Shaw replied. "Besides I have a daughter myself, so I know how you must be feeling, but I'm not too concerned at this moment. This is just a precaution."

She offered Beckett and Castle a warm smile and for the first time Beckett thought she might actually be able to like the woman.

The moment was interrupted by Agent Avery, "We got a hit. That pinkie print off the second victim's purse belongs to a Donald Salt, 2-time loser, on parole for a manslaughter conviction in 2005. They just matched it to the partial pinkie print your team recovered from Grand Central."

"Two pinkie prints? So he was at the station and the carousel," Castle quickly made the connection.

"And the purse puts him with our victim," Beckett added, with a satisfied nod.

* * *

They arrived in the alley next to the suspects building and much to Beckett's surprise Agent Shaw had offered her and Castle a ride. It seemed as if the FBI Agent was honestly interested in combining their manpower to solve this case.

"Our suspect, Donald Salt, lives in that brick building. His supervisor says he left work an hour ago. So he should be home by now. When the others get here, we'll arrest him," Shaw filled them in after answering her phone and discussing procedure with Avery.

Beckett nodded while her husband was occupied with what looked like very expensive, government issued, night vision goggles.

"What is he doing?" Shaw asked after watching Castle for a moment through the rear-mirror.

Beckett squirmed in her seat, "He - touches things," she finally admitted with a shrug.

Castle, who had been oblivious to what had been going on in the front of the car, said, "Night vision goggles. I think we have the newer model though. You know, maybe in my third book Nikki Heat will cross swords with a good-looking, yet coldhearted FBI profiler. Call it _Federal Heat," _he sounded excited, but when he saw both Beckett's and Shaw's disapproving looks he quickly deflated, "Or maybe not."

"So how long have you two been married?" Shaw asked, after Castle had put down the goggles.

"Since 2004," Beckett answered with a soft smile.

"We met in 2000 though," Castle added and received another disapproving look from his wife. She really didn't need Shaw to know about how they first met. That was private.

"And you have three girls, right?"

"You're well informed," Beckett observed.

"Well," the other woman shrugged. "I like to know with whom I'm working, beside it's good to see a woman manage to juggle family life and a career at the same time."

"We're a good team," Beckett admitted, with a glance at her husband who was now playing with a taser.

"I have to take your word on that." Shaw grinned and then as if talking to a child addressed Castle, "Put the taser _down._"

In the end it was Castle who stopped Salt's escape, with the taser, and he was prancing around like a proud lion when they entered the bullpen with Salt in tow an hour later. His strutting stopped the second he learned that he wouldn't be allowed to sit in on the interrogation. A fact he found absolutely unfair since he had been the one to stop Salt's escape.

* * *

It turned out that Salt was not their guy, but he had had contact with the killer, sold him his pinkie finger and what they got in the end was a code, written on Salt's bandage.

"Our techs have run the numbers through all conventional cryptology. We can't crack it," Avery sighed in defeat as they all stared at the smart board, waiting for something to pop. "There's either a reference key that we don't have or the code itself is just a random string of numbers."

Agent Shaw shook her head, "It's not random. He bought another man's finger so he could leave a print that would lead us directly to this code. It's how he taunts Nikki. _Are you clever enough to solve my riddle?_ So whatever this reference key is, he thinks you can find it.

"Those numbers could mean anything," Beckett looked at her husband, hoping for one of his crazy ideas.

"Well," Castle took his cue without a beat, "the left-hand column is less than 300. Right-hand column is no more than 260."

"And the combination of the joined pair most likely yields a word," Shaw stepped in.

Castle lit up, "Words. It's _Heat Wave," _he grabbed for some of the copies that were still lying on the conference table. "When we typeset a manuscript, it's usually 300 words a page. And _Heat Wave_ is less than 300 pages. First column is a page number… ," he opened the book.

"Counting backwards from the bottom," Beckett went on, quickly turning the pages in her copy.

"79. Second column is a word. 32-33. _I,_" Castle found the first one.

"126-80, _Will_," Shaw added.

"145-204, _Kill,_" Beckett found the next.

"Hang on. I'm uploading the text right now," Agent Avery stopped their browsing and only seconds later their killer's message appeared on the smart board.

"_I will kill someone else before midnight tonight unless you stop me_," Castle read and then glanced at his wife who looked horrified.

"Midnight. That's eight hours away. He's putting us on the clock. He's daring us to stop him," Beckett concluded and the room fell silent. They had eight hours to either find the killer or his next victim before he did.

* * *

"Kickin' it old-school?" Castle asked as he offered his wife a fresh cup of coffee.

"The white board's always worked for me," she shrugged, accepting the coffee. "How are things at home?"

"All quiet on the home front," he smiled. "Mother said Jamie and Ellie are fast asleep and Alexis is doing homework. She told her that we might not be home tonight. She understood."

"Okay, good," Kate nodded. "I think I go and call her anyway. I can use a quick break from staring at this."

She stood up, heading for one of the empty interrogation rooms, but Castle held her back.

"Hey, you're okay?"

She leant into him, a seldom move for her at work, "There is no way to predict where he's gonna go next and it's already nine o'clock, and we're out of time. And every murder he commits is in the name of Nikki Heat."

"A very wise woman once told me you can't blame Jodie Foster for John Hinckley. But you can blame her for _Nim's Island_," he rolled his eyes sheepishly and it had the desired effect, making his wife chuckle.

"Thank you," she squeezed his upper arm as she stepped around him. "I go and call Alexis."

She was just heading for the interrogation room when two agents came rushing in, informing them they had a new lead.

"What have you got?" Beckett asked, stepping into the war room with Castle on her heels.

"Lab results came back on that bandage," Avery filled them in, "tested positive for formaldehyde, methanol, and ethanol."

"Embalming fluid," Shaw and Castle exclaimed at the same time as they stood in front of the smart board.

Shaw quickly put two and two together, "The lab found traces of formaldehyde at Grand Central and ethanol at the carousel."

"Our killer works at a mortuary," Castle concluded.

"Or he could be a hospital employee or a janitor at a morgue," Beckett suggested, but Agent Shaw immediately nixed that train of thought.

"No. Castle's theory is more likely. Bring up all the mortuaries in the city."

Beckett frowned, she wasn't used to having her theories simply shut down without so much as a second thought and she also didn't like the way her husband got more excited and closer to Agent Shaw with every theory they agreed on.

"We've got over a thousand in the New York city area alone. We can't hit all these before midnight," Avery took into account.

"Can you cross-reference mortuary experience with criminal records?" Castle asked.

"Or job finder groups for ex-cons," Shaw looked up at Castle with something close to admiration. Beckett didn't like that look. Not one bit. She liked it even less when her husband replied with an enthusiastic, "Yes," and a sparkle in his eye.

"I can try," Avery nodded and put the parameters into the system, "Six names."

"Mobilize the troops. I want every one of these guys in our custody before midnight," Shaw ordered before turning to Beckett, "He _is _helpful. I don't understand why you didn't keep him around."

Beckett narrowed her eyes and before Castle could follow Agent Shaw like a love-sick puppy, she snatched him by his arm and pulled him back into the room.

"Can we talk, just for a sec?"

"But Shaw said …," he shut up when he saw the look on her face.

"What did you tell her about why you're not working with us anymore?" Kate demanded to know.

"Just that," Castle shrugged. "That I'm not working with you any longer."

"Great," Beckett growled. "Just great."

"What?" Castle questioned, but Beckett was already heading after the others. "I wonder what I did _now_," Castle mumbled to himself as he followed her.

* * *

The lead was a dead end and Beckett knew that they had just played the killer's game, played right into his hand.

They weren't one step closer to catch the killer, she still hand't had time to call Alexis and she was just starting to get really pissed, when Ryan stuck his head into the observation room.

"He's on the phone. He's asking for Nikki Heat," he informed them

Everyone, including Montgomery, followed Ryan into the bullpen, coming to stand around Beckett as she quickly prepared to answer the phone.

"We're tracing the call," Shaw nodded as Beckett picked up the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Nikki? You were supposed to stop me. I wanted you to stop me," the by now familiar voice told her disappointed.

"Tell me where you are," Beckett replied, hoping she might get him to reveal something about his location.

"Will you come alone?"

"Yes," Beckett replied, after getting confirmation from Shaw. "Just you and me. We can figure this out. I can help you. You just need to trust me."

She felt his tone change even before he spoke his next words, "Tell me something… How does it feel to know that you have failed?"

The line went dead and for a second no one moved.

Things escalated quickly from there. They traced the call back to a parking garage where they found a lot of blood and a women's shoe. No trace of the woman or the murderer though and only the vague chance of finding the car the killer might have used by putting out an APB.

"I'll get my guys to get a roster of all the people who had monthlies on this floor," Beckett stated but Shaw shook her head.

"My people are already on it, and I got way more people than you do. Your captain has a unit on your apartment. Go home, get some rest," she replied. "Both of you."

"It's not necess -," Beckett tried to reject, but Shaw was having none of it.

"No argument. You're no good to me if you're burned out," with that she left the couple standing in the middle of the parking deck.

Castle could see that Kate was close to exploding and tried to lighten the mood, "I have more men than you? Is that the female equivalent to who's got the bigger …," he stopped before he could finish his thought.

"I can't stand that woman," Beckett growled. "Who does she think she is?"

"What do you wanna do?" Castle asked tentatively.

"Go home, what else?" Beckett deflated and then stalked off to her car without another word. Castle hurried after her, waving at Ryan and Esposito on the way, who both wore the same stoic-pissed expression as his wife.

* * *

When they made it home Kate had calmed down, realizing there was nothing she could do about the situation and that a couple of hours of sleep might actually do her some good. She noticed the black van on the other side of the street, where Shaw's men were keeping watch. The agents nodded and she returned the gesture.

Beckett and Castle greeted the security detail, a uni from the 12th, at the door to the loft and he wished them a goodnight, promising that he would keep good watch over them. They thanked him and Castle promised to make him a fresh pot of coffee for the man before going to bed.

When they entered the living room they found Martha still up, watching one of her old movies in Castle's office and Kate gave him a nudge to go and talk to her, while she would check on the girls.

"Hey kiddo," Martha greeted her son, pausing the movie. "So you made it home after all. Where's Katherine?"

"Checking on the girls," he replied as he sat down on the armrest next to his mother. "We were sent home by the FBI."

"Oh, I take it Katherine wasn't too fond of that," Martha stated with a small chuckle. She knew her daughter-in-law well enough.

"No, can't say she was," he shook his head with a grin, "but she calmed down now. We both can use some rest. Start again tomorrow with a fresh eye and mind. And you? The pros outweighed the cons?"

Martha sighed, "Darling, this was always supposed to be a temporary situation, until I got back on my feet, you know." She patted his arm.

"The kids will miss you terribly," Castle said..

"Mmmh," Martha hummed knowingly. "I'll always be around. You know that. There's nothing I wouldn't do for those girls."

"I know Mother, thank you," he smiled fondly at her before they both turned to see Kate entering the office.

"Hey," Kate greeted Martha. "Thanks for watching them."

"Oh don't mention it, you know I love helping out," Martha waved her off. "Was Alexis still up?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "I talked to her for a while, explained as much as I could. I think she's okay for now. I promised her the whole story once this is all over."

"Good," Martha smiled, dropping a kiss against Kate's cheek as she stood up. "Good night darlings. Try to get some rest."

* * *

Kate settled down on the couch, while Castle prepared the coffee for the uni outside, both too wired to go straight to bed.

"So our guy killed the others where they were found. Why not this girl? Why didn't he just leave her in the garage where we'd find her?" Kate frowned, when Castle walked back in.

"He's changing it up," Castle suggested, getting glasses and a bottle of wine.

"Or this victim is special," Kate shook her head, when Castle offered her a glass of wine, "No, thanks."

"No, no, Agent Shaw said we need to decompress. Nothing decompresses like a 2000 Châteauneuf-du-Pape," Castle held out the glass again with a sheepish grin.

"Oh, well, if Special Agent Shaw said so…," Kate rolled her eyes, but took the glass nevertheless.

Castle frowned, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Beckett replied in a tone that suggested that this was anything but nothing, "I just see the way that you listen to her, the way that you look at all of her fancy equipment. Now my murder board's not enough for you? Now you need a smart board?"

"Are you jealous?" Castle sniggered.

"I'm _not_ jealous. I'm just embarrassed the way that you act like a ten-year-old, all impressed by her data matrix. _Oh, it collates information so quickly, Agent Shaw, tell me all about it_."

"You are ridiculous," Castle laughed.

"And then to top it off," Kate was in full rant mode now, "you are now building theory with her."

"So?" Rick shrugged, missing her point.

"Sooo," Kate emphasized, "you're supposed to be building theory with me. You're supposed to be on my team."

"Well, I thought we were all on the same team?" He was smart enough not to mention that she had originally kicked him off said team.

"We are," Kate admitted, if reluctantly, "It's just - I think that if you have an insight, you should run it by me, first."

"Fine. I will. Now drink your wine," he ordered and then added. "And just for the record. You're so jealous."

"Shut up," Kate grumbled into her wine glass, kicking him lightly with her feet, before he caught both of them and secured them in his lap with the hand that wasn't holding his wine glass.

"You know," he said, waiting for her to look at him, "you'll always be my number one, right? No Agent Shaw nor any other crimefighter will ever change that."

"Not even Batman?" She asked with a slight smile.

"Not even Batman."

They sipped their wine in silence for a while, coming down from the day's events.

"I'm sorry," Castle sighed after a while.

"For what? Making me jealous?" She grinned, more relaxed now that she said it out loud what had been bothering her.

"No," he shook his head, "for putting us all in this situation. If I hadn't written -," she cut him off, placing the wine on the coffee table and moving to sit right in front of him.

"Shh," her hands framed his face, "No, it's not your fault. He kills because he wants to kill. If it weren't Heat Wave it would be someone else's book. This just means that the best team possible his hunting him and we're going to get him. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good, then let's go to bed," she pulled him up with her. "We have an early start tomorrow."

* * *

**TBC**


	27. Chapter 27

**AN: I'm sorry this took so long. A million reasons. If you're still out there reading: Thank you!**

* * *

They _heard_ the explosion even before the blast of it made the windows of the old warehouse shatter into a million pieces. Debris was flying towards them and Agent Shaw's team and within seconds, raging flames licked at the brick structure of the building, devouring everything in their way.

Castle's heart stopped and for a moment the world around him stood just as still. Nothing and no one moved and he could swear he heard the fine hairs on his arms stand up before all hell broke loose. The shouting of commands, agents and Unis hurrying around them while the fire kept raging in front of them.

He felt Kate sink to her knee's next to him. An agonizing cry ripping through the night that could even be heard over the thunder of the flames, her right hand clutching his arm so fiercely she was drawing blood.

He didn't know what to do. How to fix this. Never in his life had he felt so helpless and everyone of Kate's cries ripped his heart further apart.

"Kate," he finally managed to get her name out, but she was already scrambling up, trying to run into the burning building and he barely managed to hold her back in time, sending them both crashing to their knees as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her down.

"Kate. No," he stuttered. "You can't. You can't."

"Our girls are in there," she cried, tears streaming down her face. "Rick, our girls."

"No," he shook his head as he fought back his own tears, refusing to believe that their two youngest daughters were in that building. "No," he said again with conviction he didn't really feel. Clutching his wife to his chest, while the world around them descended into chaos. "This is not how our story ends."

* * *

_**Two days earlier**_

Kate was the first to wake from the banging against their front door. Grabbing her robe she shook Castle who was grunting in protest when she poked him in the ribs.

"Get up," she hissed, making sure he was not rolling over again to fall back asleep. "There's someone at the door."

"What?" he mumbled, but slowly sat up to watch his wife leave the bedroom.

"Detective Beckett," she heard her name being called accompanied by another knock on the door.

"I'm coming," she called back and thankfully the banging stopped after that. She just hoped the girls had been able to sleep through the riot.

"What is it?" She asked after checking it was Officer Blake, a Uni from the 12th , who stood on the other side of the door.

"You need to come downstairs," Blake got out, seemingly out of breath. "And call Agent Shaw."

"What is going on? Blake?" Beckett's eyes finally landed on Eduardo, their doorman, who stood next to the Officer, his face a concerning shade of white. "Eduardo?"

"It's horrible, Detective Beckett," the man, who was obviously shocked by whatever he had seen, stuttered. "The poor woman."

"What's going on?" Castle, who was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes asked when he made it to the door, stepping up to Kate's side.

But his wife already knew what had happened and it was sending cold shivers down her back, "It's her," she replied without further explanation, before heading out after Officer Blake and Eduardo.

* * *

"Now we know why he took her body," Agent Shaw said as they stood in the living room of the loft an hour later.

Eduardo had been the one to find their killer's latest victim in the back alley of their building, knowing about the security detail he had immediately informed the officer guarding the loft. It had been a whirlwind from there on. Agent Shaw and her team flooding the alley, CSU processing the scene, while Beckett and Castle could only stand by and watch.

"I know where you live," Kate nodded. "This was a threat."

Castle stepped closer, but refrained from touching her in front of Shaw. They had figured out the "threat-part" the second they had seen the lifeless body and had already instructed Martha to pack a bag for each girl. There was no way they would let the girls stay at the loft after what had happened.

Jim would take Ellie and Jamie up to the cabin for a couple of days, taking a security detail with them. They had wanted Alexis to go too, but she had refused, not wanting to miss out on school and so Martha had agreed to check into the _Four Seasons_ with her granddaughter, having another security detail assigned to them.

"More than that. He's saying he's disappointed in you. In his mind, he gave you a fair warning that he was going to kill again. If you had been smarter, you would've been able to stop him. He's saying: This one is on you."

Beckett was about to protest, but Shaw waved her off, "I'm profiling him, Detective, not agreeing with him. The guy's a freaking nut-bar. Don't let him get to you."

"He's a nut-bar, who threatens our family," Castle growled at her side and this time she reached out to him, grabbing his hand to calm him down.

"I know," Shaw nodded. "I promise we're doing everything we can to protect you and your family and I agree that moving your daughters out of the city is a good plan for now. He still might be just after you, but I think it's best to be safe."

* * *

After Beckett and Castle had seen their family off with Jamie and Ellie safely on their way to the cabin with Jim and Martha and Alexis checking into a suite at the hotel, they made their way to the morgue to talk to Lanie.

What they learned didn't encourage them.

"Nikki will burn?" Castle frowned, "Are you sure?"

"I can't think of anything else," Lanie nodded sadly. "I'm sorry. I know this is not the kind of news you wanted hear."

"I don't like this. I don't like this at all", he growled, looking over at Kate but saw that she was already moving on to the next topic. She couldn't worry about what the words might mean right now. She had a case to solve and if she could do so in time they might never have to find out what kind of a message the killer tried to send her.

"Do you have anything that might help us I.D. The victim?" Beckett asked, focusing on what she could do and wasn't disappointed by Lanie's answers. Finally they had a lead.

* * *

They parked in front of their suspects house, Ben Conrad. The killers latest victim had finally led them to a name and they were all eager to get theirs hands on him. To end this.

They were waiting for the rest of the team in the back alley of Conrad's house, while Agent Shaw was on the phone with her daughter.

"Yeah. Okay, sweetie. Mommy's gotta go arrest somebody, okay? I'll be home for dinner. All right. I love you. Bye," Agent Shaw hang up with sigh and received knowing looks from Castle and Beckett.

"Did the girls and your dad make to the cabin?" Shaw asked as she holstered her gun, checking her rearview mirror.

"He called from along the way, but they should be there by now. Cell phone reception can be a bit tricky though," Kate replied, looking over at Castle.

"Good," Shaw nodded with a smile. "Okay, now the tough part. Both of you are staying here."

"What?" Castle gasped, looking at his wife for support, but surprisingly she seemed to agree with Agent Shaw.

"No, Agent Shaw is right. I'm his target. I can't compromise the team by walking into the line of fire. We'll stay put."

"We'll take him down. It'll still be your collar," Agent Shaw nodded at Kate and then slipped out of the car.

"I'm starting to like her," Kate mused as she watched Shaw lead her team into the building.

* * *

It was all over by the end of the day. Conrad was dead and Beckett and Castle could take their first deep breath since this case had started.

After one last phone call to Beckett, Ben Conrad had shot himself before Agent Shaw and her team could get to him and while everyone wanted answers they were all glad that it was finally over and that everyone was safe.

"Alexis and Mother are coming home tonight," Castle said as he approached Kate at her desk, placing his phone in his coat pocket.

"They didn't want to stay the night at the _Four Seasons_?" Kate frowned, that didn't sound like her mother-in-law at all.

"_Alexis_ didn't and since mother is going to move out soon, she uncharacteristically didn't object to cutting their stay short and spent some more time at the loft with her family."

Kate chuckled, "That makes more sense."

"Did you reach your dad?" he asked, sitting down in his chair. A sight she hadn't seen in quite a while and which made her smile.

"No," she shook her head, "not yet, but he promised to call around seven anyway."

"Good," Castle nodded. "Then lets get out of here. Shaw and her team left as well. The rest can wait until tomorrow."

* * *

They entered the loft twenty minutes later and were met with fierce hugs from Alexis and Martha.

"So it's really over?" the redhead asked, without letting go of Kate.

"Yes, it's over," Kate reassured her daughter, pulling her close once more before finally letting the girl go. "Why don't you go and order-in from our favorite Italian place? I feel like pasta and I'm gonna call my dad and tell him the good news."

"Didn't you call him from the precinct?" Martha frowned, as they all made their way into the living room, while Alexis went for the phone and the take-out menu.

"I tried, but I couldn't reach him, but he said he would call around seven so I'll just try again," Kate explained and moved into Castle's office. She was back shortly with a frown on her face.

"Still no luck?" Castle asked

"No," Kate shook her head. She was starting to get an uneasy feeling. "I don't know, something seems to be off."

"Give him another couple of minutes," Castle tried to reassure his wife, but was starting to feel uneasy as well. It was not like Jim to be late not even on the phone.

"Okay," she nodded, forcing a smile on her lips for Alexis's sake, who had returned from the kitchen.

"Food should be here in twenty," she stated, plopping down next to her dad.

"I'll make us some coffee," Martha said and made her way into the kitchen, followed by Alexis, who offered to help.

"What's wrong?" Castle asked when the rest of the family was out of earshot.

"I don't know," Kate shrugged, "I just feel -," she was interrupted by her phone, which she answered with a relieved sigh when she saw who was calling.

"Hey Dad."

"Hello Nikki."

* * *

TBC


	28. 28 A Life to Remember

**_AN: Yes, I'm still alive and so sorry for the way too long wait for this. It was quite a struggle for me to get this out. But here it is._**

* * *

"Hello Nikki."

"Who is this?" Kate asked, her voice suddenly alert and Castle knew immediately that something was wrong as he turned toward her and caught the look in her eyes.

"Oh Nikki," the man tisked. "Don't play dumb. It doesn't suit you. You know exactly _who_ this is."

"No," she gasped. "No, you're dead. I saw … ."

"Ah my dear Detective. The poor Ben is dead, you've got that right. And just like I wanted you to, you all fell for my little illusion, giving me all the time in the world to go and get your precious daughters."

"What did you do to them, you bastard?" Kate hissed, shooting up from the couch, causing Castle to do the same and grab for his own phone.

"Nothing, nothing," the man replied, calm and relaxed as if they were talking about the weather, before his tone changed. "At least not yet."

"I swear, if you hurt them, if you even just touch one hair on their head. I will hunt you down and put a bullet straight between your eyes," Kate threatened, knowing it was useless in her position.

"I'm looking forward to that," he chuckled and before Kate could reply the line went dead.

"Kate?" Castle asked, fear in his eyes, while his wife was already dialing her father's number just to listen to the endless beeping.

"He has Jamie and Ellie, Rick," she swallowed against her tears and the rising panic, knowing she needed to stay focused now or she would never get them back. "And the bastard is not picking up."

"But Ben Conrad? He's dead … I don't understand." Rick looked helpless. It was suppose to be over.

"Ben Conrad is not our killer, he's just another victim," Kate explained, while frantically trying to figure out what was the best way to proceed without having a panic attack.

"I'm going to call Shaw," Castle suddenly sprang into action, placing a hand on her shoulder. They needed to get their head in the game if they wanted to get the son of a bitch that had their daughters.

"Okay and I'll call Montgomery and the boys," Kate replied, ending her fruitless attempt to get the man back on the line.

"We're gonna get them back, Kate. We'll do whatever we have to and we're going to get them back." Castle said and saw her nod as Shaw picked up, "Agent Shaw, you need to get here."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later the loft was swamped with FBI agents and Jordan Shaw had led Castle and Beckett into the office, away from the main buzz to go over their statement again, knowing that every little detail might count in getting the couple's daughters back and that it mattered to get them while their memory was still fresh.

"So let us go over it again," Agent Shaw said in such a calm voice that it drove Beckett up the wall. She knew Jordan was just doing her job, knew that this was the most efficient way to get what they needed, but those were _her_ daughters out there, in the hands off a serial killer and she couldn't just sit here going over her statement - again. She needed to get out there. Do something. Anything to find their girls and get them back home safely. Glancing over at her husband who was pacing behind his desk, she knew he wasn't doing much better and it didn't help, that she could hear Alexis crying in the living room, where Martha tried to console their oldest daughter.

"Did he say anything about your father? Or the agent who accompanied them up to the cabin?" Shaw asked, after Kate had recalled the phone call for her once more.

"No, he didn't. He just talked about Ellie and Jamie. Have you sent someone up there to check?" Beckett turned to look at Shaw.

"Of course, the second Castle called me I sent a team Upstate and informed local forces. We'll know the second they get there."

"No," she shook her head. "I can't just sit here and wait. I need to do something. We need to find them, Rick."

"I know. I know."

"I promise we're doing all we can to get your girls back," Agent Shaw stepped up to the two of them, "but I understand that you can't just sit here and wait. So why don't you two go to the precinct and work with your team. The more people are looking the better."

"You want to do that?" Castle asked and watched his wife nod. "You'll keep us updated on your end?" He looked over at Agent Shaw.

"Of course. The second I know something, you'll know it too."

"Okay, let's go. Mother, Alexis, you're coming with us. We're all staying together."

* * *

"Did you find them?" Kate called out to Esposito the second she and her family rushed through the elevator doors into the bullpen.

"Beckett," Espo hurried to meet them half way. "They found your dad and the agent who was with him. They are both okay."

"Thank God," Kate sighed. "And the girls?" Kate lifted her eyes to meet her partner's, but what she saw in them made her recoil. "No, Espo, please."

"I'm sorry, Beckett. There was no trace of Jamie and Ellie."

"What -," Castle swallowed. "What do you mean there was no trace of them? The agents up there must have found something. Jim must have seen something."

"They're still processing the scene and we'll keep looking, of course. But right now there's nothing else I can tell you. I'm sorry. I've been going trough street cam footage for the past hour, but your dad's cabin is quite remote." Espo watched his friends deflate at his words and it broke his heart. He loved those girls as well, but his pain was nothing compared to what Beckett and Castle were going through at the moment. "We're gonna find them, Kate."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Beckett spat and Rick squeezed her hand, reeling her back in. Espo was not their enemy and they needed all the help they could get. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Espo."

"'S alright," Espo shrugged off her apology. "Already forgotten."

"I was wondering," Castle started, wanting to get into the game, to find a way to get his daughters back, "Has anyone been back to Conrad's apartment?"

"I don't think so," Espo shook his head. "Why?"

"Because if Ben Conrad is not our killer and he didn't kill himself either, it means -," his wife cut him off.

"It means our real killer was in the apartment the whole time."

"Then how the hell did we miss him?" Shaw asked as she stepped up to the trio, having just arrived with her team.

"Let's go and find out and get our girls back," Castle stated, already pulling Kate back toward the elevator when his mother called out to him and he hated himself for forgetting that he and Kate were not the only ones affected by this. He turned around, feeling Kate at his back as he looked from his mother to his oldest daughter.

"Mother, you're staying here with Alexis. This is the safest place for you to be right now," he explained, pulling Alexis close as Kate did the same, both hugging their daughter while tears started to stream down her face.

"We love you, Pumpkin," Kate whispered, while she reached out to Martha, squeezing her hand.

"I'll take care of Alexis," Martha promised. "You two go and find Jamie and Ellie."

"And I'll take care of both of them," Montgomery's voice suddenly fell over them, having just arrived himself. "I promise."

"Thank you, Roy." Castle nodded at his wife's Captain, before catching Shaw's impatient look and pulling Kate away from the rest of their family. "We need to go."

**TBC**


	29. 29 A Life to Remember

_**Finally got this down ...  
I didn't have the time to really check spelling etc. I apologize for any mistakes**_

* * *

Five minutes later Castle and Beckett were riding with agents Shaw and Avery to Conrad's apartment. Kate's leg bouncing impatiently in the backseat while Shaw navigated through the thick Manhattan traffic. Avery grunted when his shoulder hit the door after a very sharp maneuver of Shaw around a taxi but still managed to answer his ringing phone.

"Detective Beckett," he turned to the duo after exchanging just a couple of words with the caller. "It's for you. Your father."

"Dad," she breathed a sigh of relief into the phone since she hadn't been able to speak to him in person yet.

"Katie, I'm so sorry. I couldn't keep them safe," her dad stuttered into the phone, obviously close to tears. "We didn't see him coming. I'm so sorry."

"Dad," Kate tried to stay calm, as she heard her father's devastated words and put him on speaker so Castle could listen in and support her. "It's not your fault. No one is blaming you. But we need to know what happened from you."

"Okay," they heard him taking a deep breath. "I can do that. We … we had just arrived at the cabin. Agent Collins got out first to check the area, telling us to stay in the car, but he didn't come back. So, I told the girls to stay in the car and went looking for him. I thought he was probably having trouble opening the back door. I still haven't fixed it - but than that guy got me from behind. I never saw him coming. When I woke up he had tied us up in the cabin, taken our phones … . We couldn't call for help until the other agents found us. I'm sorry."

"Dad, it's not your fault," Kate repeated to reassure him. "None of us saw this coming. If it's anyone's fault it's ours."

"No, I should have protected them. You sent me with Jamie and Ellie to look out for them, you trusted me with them," Jim mumbled and Kate knew she should keep reassuring him, but right now she didn't have it in her, she had never been this worried in her whole life and she was too close to losing it herself to be any good for her dad right now.

"Jim," Castle sensed her turmoil and took the phone from her, turning off the speaker to talk to his father-in-law a bit more privately. "Kate is right. It's not your fault. I'm sure you did all you could. We need to go now but my mother and Alexis are at the precinct and I'm sure it would be a great relief if you joined them there once your back in the city."

"Okay," Jim took another deep breath, pulling himself together. "Okay son. We're on our way. We should be there within the hour."

"Good," Castle nodded even though Jim couldn't see him. "We need to go. We'll let you know the second we find them."

"Okay, be careful."

The line went dead and Castle handed the phone back to Avery just as Shaw pulled up in front of Conrad's apartment.

* * *

Now that they knew what they were looking for they discovered the killers hiding place in just a couple of minutes, complete with the exact same outfit the real Ben Conrad was wearing when they found him.

"So the killer wanted us to think he was Conrad. That's why the man that I saw in the window, the one from our eyewitness accounts, led us straight to Ben," Kate said, glad they were finally getting some answers.

Shaw nodded, "Which means the real Ben Conrad was being held hostage in his own apartment the entire case."

"He must have been bound and duct-taped, with no idea that he was being blamed for three murders," Kate went on as she stepped up to her husband.

Castle looked at the items they found in the killer's hiding place as he figured out why exactly their killer had chosen Ben Conrad, "Each of our victims was carefully selected for their connection to Ben Conrad, making him the perfect patsy."

"The killer's a chameleon, changing his identity to get close to the victims. He becomes Ben Conrad, he becomes invisible. Nobody's looking for him," Shaw went on, wondering how they all could have been so blind the entire time.

"And then we come here, and we find exactly what we expected to find – our suspect dead on the ground – case closed," Castle muttered, knowing that they had been played and that their incapability to figure it out might cost them their daughters.

"Our killer was right here, hidden in this secret room," Kate's voice wavered. "He was here the whole time, and we missed him. God Castle," she looked up at her husband with big, fearful eyes. "How did we not see this. Jamie and Ellie would be safe at home."

"Hey," he made her look at him. "We'll figure this out. We'll get our girls back."

"I'll get the evidence team down here, see what they can find," Shaw said with an encouraging nod before stepping out into the hallway to make the call, giving the couple some privacy.

"Come here," Rick said when he saw the tears in Kate's eyes. "We're gonna find them."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she bit back, which only made him hold her tighter.

"I'm not," he muttered, before they both fell silent for a moment, "How did he know where the girls where?"

Kate took a step back to look at her husband, "He was watching, he was watching us the whole time."

"And everything about this guy's profile tells me he was watching at the other crime scenes too," Shaw joined in as she stepped back into the apartment.

"Yeah, but the first thing we did was compare crime scene photos," Kate frowned, yet feeling hopeful that they were finally getting a step closer to their killer and with that closer to their daughters.

"I know. We ran them through facial recognition. But he was there. I know he was there," Shaw looked thoughtful.

"He wouldn't be in the crowd. He'd know that's where we'd look," Castle mused, but Shaw shook her head.

"No, he hides in plain sight. He's a chameleon. We didn't see him in the crowd… - because he was dressed as one of us."

They made their way back to the precinct to go over the crime scene photos again, all hoping that Agent Shaw's hunch was right, that they would find the man they were looking for on one of the pictures.

* * *

"Mom, Dad!" Alexis came rushing out of the break room the second she saw her parents enter the bullpen.

"I'll go ahead and get started with the crime scene photos," Shaw stated quietly. "You two go and take a minute with your daughter."

"Thank you," Kate nodded and quickened her steps to reach Alexis, wrapping her arms around her when she did.

Castle followed, embracing his wife and daughter from the other side, "Hey Pumpkin, how are you holding up?"

The girl shrugged, "Okay, I guess."

"I know we're kind of leaving you alone in this right now and I'm sorry for that," Kate mumbled into her daughter's ear.

"It's okay, I just want you to find Jamie and Ellie and Grams is here. I'm okay," Alexis tried to smile but failed.

"I'm very proud of you," Kate pressed a kiss against Alexis head.

"We both are," Castle agreed and watched his oldest daughter pull away from them, putting on a brave face.

"Go and find my sisters, okay."

Castle nodded, finding his mother watching them from the break room door when he looked over Alexis' shoulder. "We will, Pumpkin."

* * *

They finally started to make slow, but steady progress as they worked through out the night. They found their guy on _all _of their crime scene photos, dressed as one of them, just as Shaw had predicted, but always carefully avoiding to show his face to the camera. They rearranged their timeline. Treating Ben Conrad as their first victim and worked their way up from there. Conrad's sister came in and finally set them on the right path after lunch the next day.

Ben Conrad had been a loner, unemployed and spent most of his days in coffee shops which offered free internet to send out his resumes. His only passion beside his dog were the Knicks and that was what gave Beckett an idea as she grabbed for the crime scene photos of Ben's apartment.

"What's missing from these pictures?" She asked, looking at her husband.

"A TV," he immediately responded, catching on to where she was going with this. "If he didn't have a TV he must have watched the games somewhere else. A bar or … ."

"Okay, Espo, Ryan you two take all of the coffee shops within a 5-block radius of Conrad's apartment. See if anyone remembers him talking to a customer. Castle and I will take the bars," Beckett instructed and watched the boys hurry off.

"Let's go and talk to Alexis and our parents for a second before we leave," Beckett said as she stopped Castle from following them. "We have been brushing them off all day and I know we want to end this as fast as we can, but we need to keep them in the loop."

"You're right, you're right," he nodded following her toward the break room instead where Martha, Jim and Alexis hadn't gotten much more sleep than the rest of them.

"Shhh," Martha greeted the duo when she saw them walking through the door, tired eyes meeting her own. "She just fell asleep." Martha nodded at their daughter who was curled up on the break room couch. "How are you holding up?"

"We were about to ask you the same," Castle managed a small smile for his mother.

"Oh, we're hanging in there kiddo," Martha said as she reached for her son's hand to give it a squeeze. "Did you find anything?"

"We did," Kate nodded as she carefully sat down next to Alexis, letting her fingers run through the girl's hair. "We are about to leave to follow a lead. The boys already left."

"Still nothing from the girls?" Jim asked with hopeful eyes, but Castle shook his head.

"He didn't make contact yet and Agent Shaw thinks he might not at all."

"We need to leave," Kate sighed with one last look at her daughter. "Tell her we love her when she wakes up."

"Of course, Darling," Martha embraced her daughter-in-law quickly before stepping back to Jim's side, linking arms with him. "We'll hold down the fort. Don't worry." Jim nodded as well and for a second Kate allowed herself to push the worry for her daughters aside to be proud of her dad. He had been a rock since he had arrived at the precinct, consoling Alexis and being a shoulder to lean on for Martha. He was not wavering, he was not - Kate was sure of it - thinking about having a drink. He was simply having their backs, leaving them with one less thing to worry about. And once this was all over and Jamie and Ellie safe back at home, she would tell him how proud she was of him, of how far he had come, since that Christmas Day on which he had reentered her life. How far the two of them had come since then.

**TBC**


End file.
